Why Ask If Im Okay?

two months ago today on the 10/12/2009, i lost my baby due to abortion/miscarridge its complicated,

two months on im still trying to heal, this date i remember the day so well and just cant get over it, mum walked in today and was all like 'why are you crying' so i told her not to worry and im fine, i couldn't get up this morning for my aprentiship i just didnt have the guts to face the world, and it sounds pathetic but its true, it realy has messed me up. my mother didn't understand why, she forgot what date it was, forgot everything, so i wrote a note to her and i said, mum, two months ago i lost the baby and you think im gunna be okay? im still hurting, it doesnt matter if it was two years or two days im stll gunna hurt some days. she called me an 'attention seeker' and goes so are u gunna be like this every month?! she doesnt understand, she hasnt been through it she will NEVER understand and i need to talk to someone who does.

i lost my first baby, and i know it wasn't a proper baby but it would of been, would of been my kacee.

im never gonna forgive myself for what i went through that day, it was most probebly the worst day of my life.

my first baby and i never got to meet it :(

please help me? :( im ovberfilled with grief

gemzie2008 gemzie2008
13-15, F
2 Responses Feb 10, 2010

thankyou, ive tried talking to my mum but she just doesnt understand its like shes forgotten how much pain i went through that day its healing a little bit, but rare occasions it coomes back :(

Loss gets easier over time even though it doesn't seem that way. It will take a lot more than 2 months to heal emotionally unfortunately on occasion the pain comes back in a briefe thought no matter how much time goes by. Those who haven't been through this kind of thing can never really understand, and can seem cruel in their thought less comment. A lot of the times they really just don't know what to say. I have been through it before and had family and friends treat it as thought it were nothing. Later after talking to them I found that for some reason they thought acting as if it were nothing would push me along on recovering help convince myself that I didn't need to feel that pain and sadness. You should find some time to sit face to face with your mom and talk to her. tell her everything how you felt then how you fell now and how she makes you feel when she acts the way she does. Then sometimes just talking about it can help the healing process.