Trying Hard To Adapt

In the last year life has changed completely.

We went from living completely independently, working for ourselves over 70 hours a week building a good future for ourselves, spending our few days off hiking or mountain-biking & not asking for anything, however my amazing husband has had health problems & we ended up homeless & are filing for bankruptcy.

The main problem is that the my husbands illness is so rare that his doctors told him for so long that either the chronic pain was in his head, or that we weren't to worry, that it was a temporary problem & it would pass. By the time they finally worked out what it was he had been unable to work for over 4 months & I'd had to give up to care for him. Even though all of this had happened we had to wait for over 6 weeks stuck in an old damp, leaking caravan in a field before our local council even reached a decision to place us on the homeless list.

We have had to fight with his dr's to get him referrals to try to find someone who can help us, recently we went to an appointment to check his pain medication & the specialist asked if I had noticed any unusual aggression. I said yes, I'd mentioned it several times to our GP. He recommended changing one of the painkillers, great!
I waited a week for the letter from the pain specialist to reach our GP then made an appointment, he turned to us & said the letter hadn't come through but he knew what the drug was & that it was a known side effect, he also said that he knew which tablet would be recommended but we'd just wait another week & see if the letter came through..... I'm very proud of myself because I said that it wasn't acceptable & he suddenly decided he'd just change it after all.

We can't do anything we used to do, his condition affects him mentally as well he is forgetful & gets distracted easily. I have to make sure he gets his medication on time 4 times a day, he suffers from panic attacks & depression. It just seems so incredibly unfair because he's only 35, we've been married 2 & a half years. He was always fit & healthy and held high level management positions. Now a trip around the supermarket is too much for him.

I have a great group of friends who have been really supportive to us, I have a great brother who is always there to listen (he's a single dad of 5 kids so I don't expect him to do any more!)

The thing that REALLY upsets me is that my husbands family offer no support! This has come to a head this week because I had agreed last year to go away for a friends 50th birthday Girls Weekend, and I really feel like I need the break. However, I mentioned this to my mother-in-law & she point blank told me that she couldn't let him stay as his step-dad & him "clash", I thought possibly as she lives literally around the corner she could possibly just run by & check up on him? She doesn't work @ her youngest is now 25. However her response was that she was sure I would "sort something"!

I don't understand it because for any of her other kids she cannot do enough! But my husband looks too much like his dad I think (only reason I can think of) and she's always been different. We've turned up for a wee visit before only to discover the whole family round for a barbeque! Too many occasions like this to mention.

I think she likes me, she just will not put herself out at all! Very cross right now, but my husband doesn't want to cause any upset so I have to keep my mouth shut & smile sweetly when I really feel like telling her what a lousy mother she is!
highlandtiger highlandtiger
31-35, F
Feb 27, 2010