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I Pretend To Be A Guy, one that went really far in faking

Hi guys, I'm a 19 year old female who's pretending to be a guy online.
It started out when i was about 13, i was playing this game where you can make your own character and play games and chat with other people. I decided to sign up as a guy just for fun at first..but then everything escalated. People really seemed to like me so I created a fake email adress where i could add people to MSN  to chat with. I pretended to be this really cool handsome, almost perfect guy. At this young age all the girls I talked to seem to have a crush on me and i really liked and enjoyed all the attention. I picked one guy whos pictures i was gonna use, but ofcourse i needed more and more and new pictures everytime..then all the sudden all his profiles were set to private. That's when i started hacking them (yes i went really far i couldnt stop) and so i did..i had unlimited access to all his pictures anytime, anywhere so that wasnt a problem anymore.
However after a while i began to notice i was doing nothing else more then thinking about this people and about my character like it was my real life, at that point i knew i was addicted.

I had several online relationships where I also kinda fell in love with the girls i had relationships with, however in Real life im not gay.
They just made me happy and some of them were really amazing. There  was this one girl in particular where i have been with for a very long time..she's really beautiful and i was always wondering why such a gorgeous girl would have an online relationship with a guy she has never even seen before for such a long time (almost 4 years), while she could have any guy in real life. She was very dedicate to our relationship but at one point she became suspicious, she wanted to talk to me on the phone. Ofcourse ive never done that before eventhough several girls had already asked me before but i kept making up excuses not to because i didnt wanna get caught..however when she became upset and the relationship was about to end, I called her up lowered my voice and everything was fine again. From then on we had 4 hour phone calls everyday and we even fell asleep together on the phone, we watched movies together over the phone and what not. Then i realized i was addicted as never before and i couldnt stop it anymore..i felt really out of control and it was bothering me like hell. I just wished all of this was real so my online friends could be REALLY part of my life, but the thought of stopping terified me and even if i tried i wouldnt even know how to do it. I tried to stop several times but everytime again i couldnt leave it alone..it was all too tempting.

Ofcourse years have past now and everybody is getting older and less naive. People began to wonder why i never wanted to see them..and got sick of the excuses i made up. Some of them didnt wanna be friends anymore..which made me really sad. Everytime someone i had a relationship or friendship with left i got really upset. Especially when the girl i had the long relationship with dissapeared all the sudden i even became really depressed, because i was so used filling in my life talking to her.
Today, as i'm writing this i'm still doing it..and it drives me crazy and i wanna stop. It stresses me out and i dont know where to turn to because i dont wanna be seen like a freak. I dont get why im doing this, I dont wanna be cocky but i have to tell this because its part of my problem, in real life im a really pretty girl and i always have everybody's attention when im somewhere. I have lots of guys who wanna be with me..lots of ppl who wanna be friends with me. Only i dont show any interest because im so busy being this made up character...so bad i forget all about my real life. The fact that i'm neglecting myself so bad hurts me..i could have a wonderful life. Only i cant stop...i just dont know how.
Sometimes i even wish i was locked up somewhere so i cant get to my computer or phone anymore.

I'm sorry if i didnt write this story properly and changed back an forth from subjects in the wrong order.
I just started writing and didn't really know in which order and how to express what i've been through, so sorry if it was hard to read.

soconfusedandlost soconfusedandlost 18-21, F 72 Responses Jul 21, 2010

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Same thing happened toe except it was only like for a month or two. And it was over the phone. My friend got me connected to another friend and we started chatting. I thought at first I told her I was a guy for protection reasons cause I had no idea who she was. Then I realized I had gone to far. Cause I pretending to be a different person. A fake name, a fake life. When I realized I had to stop I didn't want to. But I did. We were dating at the time though I do like boys. And I told her I was cheating on her so we wouldn't talk anymore. She ended up cutting herself which made me feel really bad and only want to stay with her more. So I stayed with her even longer. I had made the worst decision after that. I had said on her birthday that I had to leave forevrr. Then I blocked her number. And I do regret blocking her number because then I couldn't explain to her what I was doing the whole time. A couple of weeks later her friend called my phone. And she was talking to me through her friends phone. S he found out I was a girl through her other friend who was actually my friend. We got in a big fight and never spoke again. I have no idea why I would do this. This also again when I was chatting on a website. And I faked my identity again but this time not my gender. It ended up in another fight because my friend told him that it was fake. I think he is fine today but I'm one hundred precent sure he faked his identity to. I didnt really regret the second time i did it cause i knew he wasnt who he said he was. I think for the first one i will forever regret it. I don't know if I like girls. I think I'm bisexual. But I also wanted to be a boy during that time. I grew a strong connection to her and I wanted to be her boyfriend. I think I also might be transgender. Im glad i was not the only one who had did this. But I wouldn't suggest it. Maybe if your in my shoes and you do think about doind this again you can tell them your a guy just transgender so you wouldn't have a problem sending pictures. It would just be a picture of yourself just looking like a boy. If your truly not transgender I don't suggest doing that.

Wow...there's something so strangely consoling about so many others in the same boat as me. Mine is an insanely odd and complicated story.
When I was 14 (I'm 22 now) my friends and I made this fake account to find out if my friend's boyfriend was cheating on her. So we made up this guy profile and all three of us used it. (I'm a woman by the by) We got to the bottom of it and then the account was just kind of inactive. Well I logged into it and saw all of these messages and out of boredom I guess I replied. I got caught up in conversations and I ended up making a separate account with the same name and such and I would message these people I had started to become friends with. Now here's where it gets INSANE. i formed all kinds of friendships and all that but really only got close to one guy (still as a girl). Long story short I end up deleting this account and strictly talking in messenger with this person. Now if you can believe it about a year into things this guy actually confesses to me that he is in fact a she. faking a profile. She confessed her love to 'me' and how sorry she was and how much she loves me and such and I have no idea why but...I still didn't confess. I told her I understood and loved her for her and she was in so much pain. The thing is...is I'm actually convinced that she's still lying about who she is. We ended up talking every day and I do love the girl. I over time have actually come to realize I AM a lesbian but that still doesn't change what's going on. The girl herself is actually a bisexual but it's just like this huge cluster **** of a situation. I can't help but think she struggles with exactly what I do because we both kinda fade out of each others' lives then always come back. Well two years ago I just dropped it, ended it. I don't know what compelled me to do it but I logged back into the account just to see when she gave up on me...and she NEVER DID. She thinks we're soul mates. She sends me messages knowing I won't reply. It's almost like a journal. I haven't used a fake account for over two years for anything and I didn't reply to what I just read...but I do always think about HER. ....do I continue to leave her alone? Do I delete the account in its entirety? Do I tell her the truth? Also keep in mind I know this girl lies about herself, even now. It's like...we both have insecurities but when we're actually talking it's not a lie at all. It's pure. But the circumstances that brought us there aren't. It's just so complicated. I guess I just want to know if I should reply to her. Set her free? I have this odd feeling she'd still love me, as I am. But at the same time the image she originally had of me would be shattered. Do I let her keep that image or do I give her a painful reality? It keeps me up at night. I'm honestly afraid she'd self harm or worse if I were to confess. Do I just leave her alone and hope she'll move on? I do genuinely love her. I know I don't care about the lies she's told and I'd still accept her but I can't confidently say she'd do the same. I love her enough to set her free, but I don't think she's strong enough to let me go. I mean TWO YEARS. And the girl still sends messages to someone who won't answer. What do I do? And does it mean anything that I still think about her?

Update: don't know if anyone gives a ****...but I told her. Came clean about everything. And she doesn't care. She said she always knew. And just didn't want to send me over the edge by calling me out. And that this entire time she just wanted me to come back to her. And I did. And she wants to make it work. I'm terrified about how this is going to play out. But I know I love her. And she says she loves me. We've spent the last few days talking nonstop...and tonight...were talking on the phone I hope. She said she couldn't stop shaking and crying from happiness that I was back. She says boy. Girl. Whatever I want to be-that she loves my soul and my mind. She said she doesn't care. And I can't ******* believe it. There's a lot of...trust to rebuild. There's a lot of figuring things out and getting comfortable all over again...but....it's actually...this worked out so much better than I ever thought. I went in expecting the worst and I got to keep her. I don't deserve it at all but I'm so happy it did workout. Listen guys. Confess. I confessed to her in an email while I knew she would be sleeping. It took me all night to push the send button, but even before I knew I had her-this weight lifted. I felt so amazing telling the truth. It really does set you free guys. I was afraid do I told her she'd do something unstable...but now she says she actually feels better knowing we actually have dreams that can happen.

Trust your guts.
Tell the truth.
You'll know when it feels right to do it.
I don't regret telling her, and I wouldn't even if she would have hated me.
But she didn't.
Guys it can end badly. But it can also end so well.

Hello! Well, although this post is about 5 years old now, it still seems rather used a lot. So I am going to post my story! ^_^ (I apologize for my misuse of grammar and spelling if any.)

So I am a 14 year old male. Just last year I got into a particular game and I thought it was pretty fun. So I was bored and messing around kinda like the original post. So I made a female character and leveled it up and stuff. Eventually I met some awesome people and it was like being thrown into another environment of parties and fun. Everything was exciting and fun experience from this new prespective! I was always told I had to be the strong one, I have to initiate every conversation, and be the number one. Well coming from that, into a prespective of a "female" I thought was pretty fun and interesting. So after a few weeks some stuff got serious and I starter hanging out with some more male characters. I "dated" (I am not gay in real life) just cause I thought it would be interesting to learn about other peoples lives. So I like someone else in the comments I "dated" on and off for 1-2 weeks at a time just learning about them. Eventually they started wanting to get closer. As i had never really talked to anyone other then the people in real life, I got overwhelmed and dug a hole for myself. I kind of threw over my whole identity of it. I was very sad when I lost this hole in my life. I was addicted but because I dug that hole I got scared I was able to get out. I dont regret what I did, but I do get uncomfortable when people start talking about it.

Dont know why I posted this but I did.

Add a response...

Hi, I am in the exact same position I'm a girl pretending to be a guy and it was meant to be a joke at first but now I've actually fallen in love with the girl and she's fallen in love with me and I cant leave her as much as I want to stop with this I cant :(

I did the same thing for so long. Please stop, you'll hurt so many people. I did it from 13- 19 i am 21 now.. Just delete everything. Like really delete. Change your passswords to blabble of letters and numbers so you couldnt possibly remember it. Then go talk to someone for real. Please it always ends in pain.

i had a similar experience. although it did help me to realise that my sexual preference is actually girls. i have a girlfriend now, but when i was faking i had a 'girlfriend' that in a weird way i did really feel like ii loved. i now have to lie and say ive never had strong feelings for a girl. i wish i could take it all back because it is going to follow me in life now, and the people that i faked will possibly look back on me (they never found that i lied to them) and see me as someone that maybe influenced them in there lives yet they'll never know the truth. i feel like i want to tell them but i feel like it might do more harm than good now that i have stopped faking.

I think now is the best time to stop. You lost toes with your original friends so you won't have a better opportunity to quit and start with real life. Take your phone and computer and hide them away. Don't touch them for 28 (it takes 28 days to break the cycle). And get on with your life. If you don't, and mind I only tricked one person, you will be stuck for life. So take this opportunity with both hands and run with it. And go out and have some fun :)

Have any of you people that faked there identity have kids?

I went through this like 3 to 2 years ago. Im 15 now, and looking back, it was pretty stupid. I posed as a guy online, because i always thought chasing was better than being chased. I envied guys because theyre expected to make the first move. That was basically what my characters was. He was really funny, super outgoing, prankster and Italian. I would "date" one girl for like 2 weeks and move on. I think it was just me trying to experience a guy's life. Just to get a little taste, and i fell in love with it. Being the one who protects, made me feel some type of way. Anyways, yeah everything was good. Everyone liked this so called perfect guy. All the girls wanted him and all the dudes wanted to befriend him and be bros. There was also this girl who i was with for 2 years. That was very unlike my character who goes through girls. She was different though. Yes, i caught some fake pictures and recorded fake voice messages, and made excuses about the phone. Then there came the guilt that EVERYONE is talking about. It felt impossible to stop at the time. I, "he" had so many friends on there, and years of memory that it felt impossible to just leave. But i did. I came up with some semi legit reason for my character to leave , thatforced him to leave the girl behind and just disappeared. I kept coming back but it slowed down over time. Guys you might be thinking you can keep this up. Youre just slowing down the process and slowly, painfully dying. Its better just to get the pain over with, and rip it up quick. I have an idea for those who still need help. We can all choose a virtual world or whatever to play in, actually play as girls, add each other and keep encouraging each other. Then we can actually make friends online using the REAL us.

I could do with some help in this area if you have the time :)

Im a girl and I've faked an account pretending to be a guy but I can't stop. Can anyone help me stop?

Wow, never thaugt that so many people are faking their gender! However, I'm one of them, too. I'm actually a guy and I created an fake account of a girl. As a guy it's really hard to chat in those dating sites, the girls are getting 100 messages a day, and most of them are not really chatable. So after I signed up as an girl with a decent profile picture, I changed my orientation to Bi/Homo. Cause I really don't want to chat with guys. I wrote to about 20 girls. 18 replied back, and with about 15 I had a good chat. And 1-2 of them was fake. What I noticed is, that if you chat with an girl, as an girl, the conversation is much better then chatting as a guy. They are really nice and friendly. And you can get their numbers and her nude pictures withing a god damn day. You just have to be a little be nice and patient. Of course I'm not using those numbers or fb's. I just like to chat with them. Nevermind, this is sometimes really fun, but since I started doing this for a couple of days, I'm feeling how addicted this is. I'm constantly checking my PM box, searching for another user to chat with. One of them already gave me almost all of her personal details, and she really likes my fake me. I met some really nice girls/women, and I would love to, to chat with them, but they knowing that I'm a guy, but it's like impossible, so I'll quit with this, because this is just making you dreaming, and a little bit horny.

Don't worry i've done that as well...On a kids game on my young brother's account so you don't need to be ashamed:((:

It's ok I'm a guy but pretend to be a girl online and would love to chat with u because I know how u feel

Yeah I know how you feel I have done the exact same thing not to the extent of the phone calls but I have been a made up person and I am 15 now and a girl fell in love with me (im a girl not gay) and so I couldn't tell her what had happened so I just deleted the account which is what you should do just delete all of your fake accounts and just leave them don't go on the sites anymore and just try to forget about them it is hard but u will he over it soon enough

Oh **** i thought i was the only one

I have done the exact same thing as you. I thought I was the only one....

I use Cosplay. I can hang out with people and be someone different, the way I would like to be, and most girls are dressed as guys including me so it's not weird at all. It's really fun too you should try this. It's healthier and I totally understand how you feel because I usually use male avatars and have had a few people hit on me too. But I discovered this and everyone is accepting of you because everyone has a common interest

Completely overwhelmed to hear about a bunch of other girls also going through the same thing that I went through a few years back. I loved virtual online games where I get to take on a different character, a different persona in which I can express myself in ways I was too insecure to do in real life. I had always been that shy girl who struggled with self-esteem and I found comfort in taking on a male avatar, where I can play the role of a dream guy that I thought I'd had no chance of ever meeting or being with. It was like some kind of outlet that I could use to not worry about my self image and be able to imagine the perfect guy, the perfect world. <br />
<br />
So I completely understand where the girls taking on a guys character online come from. I also completely understand the addiction and the want to preserve and build on this virtual dream life without having to deal with real life insecurities. I also know that some just want to try something new, or have some fun and get rid of boredom.<br />
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That saying, I don't believe in creating false relationships online especially when someone else's feelings and emotions are at stake. That is something I have never done, and will never condone anyone to do. So I'm sorry to here that some girls here are struggling with this situation, but as they always say, "Quit while you're ahead." I promise you that you're not doing yourself or the other person any good by getting to involved. It may feel like the right thing to do at the moment, but trust me, when everything comes crashing down, it will become one of the biggest regret of your life. <br />
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So stay safe, don't get too involved and don't hesitate to get professional help, such as anonymous help hot lines, if it's becoming too much of a struggle for you. Remember, just don't dig yourself into a hole that you can't dig out of. It is hard to admit to an addiction, but just know that you're doing this for your best interest and other people who are also involved in this situation.

I faked a boy online, (I'm a girl) first for fun and then when I started getting more attention I carried on. I met this girl and we chatted online for ages and ages. eventually we had an argument and stopped talking. I soon found out that she was also a faking a boy and had been in a relationship with someone and yeah. people started to think I was fake and I quit. I then created a few more boy profiles but just for bored and deleted them. I didn't have any friends with these boy profiles. I then created my last fake boy profile where I tried to help other people. I used a guy because more people played attention to 'him'. But people found out I was using fake photos and I just deleted everything. and haven't done it since. I also found out that the person whose photos I was using was a faker. So yeah. The actual guy was used to a lot of fakers. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I feel like I could be how I wanted to be. I could reinvent myself. I didn't have to be a shy loser like I was in real life. I know it was wrong but I tried to help people with these fake profiles. I have now stopped doing it and vowed never ever to do it again. Whenever I'm online I am me. I still have depression and anxiety, and am trying to get help for it. But now I just create stories in my head (like daydreams) where I can be whoever I want to be and can be cool and popular. It's so much safer and yeah. I'm thinking about writing a story with these characters I've created. I know faking people online is wrong and I've stopped. I still feel guilt about it, but I've learnt from my mistakes. Anyone suffering from quitting should create the people in their head, I know it's hard and addictive but its possible. I think I did it because I was shy and reserved irl and wasn't out going and popular and cool. I don't know why I was a guy, and I still don't know why my character is a guy. Maybe I just find them easier to think about :L I still have really bad self esteem but I have to learn to love myself. Because I am me. Not anyone else. Ps. I'm now 17 and started when I was 15?

When i first read it i was confused and I thought it was me who wrote this becuz we are in similiar situation very similar, I came to the point that i i fell into this girl (online friend) She is very pretty an smart and nice I didnt make an relation with her but we both know that I like her and she like me back it was a big problem too for me its been 4 years until now.. She dont get a bf bcuz of me i think shes waiting for me and i hate that I dont wanna lie anymore but im still addicted to it.

I do this too and I really hate that I do, but I can't stop. I've tried. I get too attached to the people I lie too :/ Like even now, I have a girlfriend and we've been going out for a month..and she thinks I'm a guy. She always talks about how much she trusts me and I'm just like "Yeahh.." ......Honestly, I don't lie to her about anything but my gender and whatnot. I really do love her. She's the most amazing person. I just wish that she knew that the person she's dating and loves is a girl..not a guy. I really feel like a horrible person, though, for doing this. I feel like I'm taking advantage of the situation and deceiving these people(which I am) The sad thing is, I've been doing this kind of stuff since I was 11(I'm 15 now). I don't know, I never felt comfortable with myself so I always felt like I had to be someone else. And with these chatting websites..that makes it so easy. At one point, I was pretending to be over 5 different guys and I never got caught on my lies. Each guy lived in a different state and had a different story..and it was so easy for me to go along with it. But now I realize that what I'm doing can really hurt people and I really want to stop. I just don't want to end things with my girlfriend....I feel so selfish :/
My last girlfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago because I just couldn't take it. She would say how she was in love with me and I felt terrible. One time we skyped and it was such a pain because I had to cover up the camera and say it was broken..Her parents were suspicious of me. Everyone in her family was (unfortunately she told everyone about how we were dating) This one time we were on skype and her mom came into the room and was like "Hey, why don't you show your face" and she kept asking me to show my face..I was so scared. Another time, her sister's boyfriend came in the room and was looking at my fake instagram (I used a guys photos from my school) and was like "He's such a fake" ....I felt so bad because I knew I was, but she was over there defending me and getting in trouble because of it...We dated for 7 months and it was pretty easy with her (aside from the skype incidents) because she was 14 and very gullible and because I was pretending to be 16..so whenever we'd talk on the phone it was very easy for me to deepen my voice and pass as a teenage boy......Oh and my parents know that I do this (not the whole story) because I did it to this girl that i went to school with for 8 months and rumors spread that it was another guy in my school texting her. And I made the mistake of telling one of my "friends" that it was me and she told everyone. SO now there's rumors going around that its me -.- and I was so scared so I just told my parents about that ONE girl. They just think I did it because I had a giant crush on her ( which I did ) and because I'm gay (which I am ) But they don't understand that it didnt start off that way. It's not like I go around like "Hey, who's gonna be the next girl I target" Like no...I don't think most people would understand. These people really do become my friends and I really do care about them..That's the only reason why it's so hard to stop.

it's weird the same thing happened to me for about one and a half year now , it started as a joke and i don't know how it even got that far , first it was with this girl a friend of mine and we talked i just wanted to confess to her and tell her it was a joke but i found out that this girl recently broke up with her fiance and she was already broken so i got scared and didn't tell her it went for about 3/4 monthes eventually i disappeared after i helped her get over her fiance am not sayin it 's right or anything i was in a bad situation after a really heartbreaking relationship with this guy who cheated on me and lied alot so i was over with guys at this point i'm not lesbian i guess i dont think about having sex with girls but beeing with them it 's just easier . so after that relation ended i found myself in another 1 but this girl was just amazing i felt so attracted to her i couldn't stop still couldnt btw tried alot to stop i don't know why i did that .. i don't want to hurt her i dont want to hurt ME i know i'm not a bad person I'M NOT ..i just left her hopefully forever Now . u guys helped alot .. glad to know i'm not the only one .. i want to tell HER i'm sorry i'm really sorry ..

Im in a similar position. I joined this social networking app on my phone and i started by creating a boys account. My bff has fell 4 my character and now idk wt 2 do

Hey... Well, i'm another Girl who's being a boy in internet... But i'm acting this way because I myself feel more male.
Nevertheless it's wrong to tell lies about your gender... You should tell the people after some months who you really are and before you've done this you shouldn't have an relationship... Else, if you are addicted like I was... Just delete that account and give your computer to your friend for a month... It's hard but possible... Good luck... ;)

welcome to my world. :I
except...reversed on the genders. I have thrived too much on attention and interest on it. I just Really don't like me. Long story short, it really got out of hand, and I have closed off a lot on that but still suffer from it because, back in reality...it really really sucks.

Hi guys, I've just read all the story's on here and thought I would give my view. I'm a victim of sexual assault who attended court earlier this year to convinct a girl who deceived me for 2 years as being the "boy" I loved. She deceived me online and betrayed my trust and I loved "him" with all my heart, so much so that I had sex with "him" after a year of being in an online relationship. It's the only time I've ever been intimate so I didn't know any different and I was young at the time. I want you all to know what you're doing effects innocent and vulnerable people and it needs to stop. What she done has effected my life to the extent where I can't trust anyone anymore, my family is broken and it effects so much. I'm begging you to please quit while you're ahead because it hurts so much. The girl who assaulted me is now in prison, but if effects me everyday I can't sleep at night. Please stop while you can it's not fair.

This is my life. I thought I was the only one. I was 15. I'm 22 now and still am tortured by it.

I'm in this situation actually. I pretend to be a guy (i'm a girl), i met this girl online before. We've been together for almost a two years now. We're always texting until now. On our first month dating, she said the guy she used to like before confess to her, i said to her just go with this guy because deep down i know it's better that way. But instead, she chose me. I don't know what to do, i mean, i'm deeply in love with her. I wanna tell her the real me, but i don't want to stop the relationship with her. We're broke up once but we couldn't move on from each other. And we're back together again until now. Nowadays, things between me and her are not good. Some of it because of trust. Either me or her want to break up but it never be done. I mean, it's because i'm in love with her. At the same time i feel guilty. I used my cousin's pictures, and whenever she wants to call me, i asked my cousin to help me. And yeah, it's working. She seems happy but i'm not. I know i lie most of the things to her, but i'm not lying about my feelings to her. It's real. I really need help. Someone please see this, and reply me. I need serious help. I want to end this things but i'm too weak to do it. So please, anyone..i need help!

I have been in your situation before, but I stopped a couple years ago. And you're right, it DOES become like an addiction because you become trapped in the role of being someone who you believe is better than you are and wish you could be. I pretended to be guys and girls, but guys seemed to be easier for me to, i don't know, "become" because as a girl I knew exactly what I would want in a guy. It's true, I did gain feelings for girls I talked to, even though I'm 100% straight and in a loving relationship with a good guy now. I think this is because we become attached to those people and we love that they care about us and they give us attention. In a sense they become your best friends and you become addicted to the love they give you. So, I understand what you're going through, but it's really not okay. Whoever is reading this and is still faking someone, YOU HAVE TO STOP. Let me tell you, you're hurting REAL people and also yourself. You will live with guilt and anxiety for the rest of your life. Confront your addiction now and talk to someone because it really helps. I know that people who fake people sometimes have severe depression or extreme loneliness, so they create people and alternate lives to feel safe, but it's not worth it and it's not real. In the long run, everything will come to an end for that unreal you when the people you meet move on from the fake you as well. It's hard believe me, when you try to stop because like I said before, it does become an addiction. But, like any other addiction it can be helped by talking to someone, finding new hobbies, or simply being more social with family and friends. Any way to pass the time you would be using to pretend to be someone else. Everyone is a unique individual and this addiction or whatever you want to call it should be something that everyone learns from and not something that keeps you stuck in the guilt and shame. Remember that you still have your whole life ahead of you and that you are not alone. You can make your REAL life even BETTER than the fake one.

Take care & I sincerely hope the best for everyone who reads this.

Hey guys,
I had the same experiencep as you as well.
I pretended to be guy (I'm a girl in real life) on an online game website. But when thing got deeper, i quieted it.
One of the girls that i use to be friends with, confessed to me. That's when i realised that what I'm doing is wrong.
I rejected her pretending that i already have a girlfriend.
I stopped doing this as soon as possible because i was too sacred that things might get worse.
Srsly guys, stop what you're doing right now.
Karma is a *****. Someone might do the same thing to you, and this time, you're the one who'll get hurt badly.

I've been in a situation like this, only I've been on the receiving end. To any of you who are pretending to be someone you're not on the internet, you need to STOP. Although it may be fun to you or fulfill you in some way, you're toying with another person's life. You're consuming days, months, years of their existence. I spent two and a half years speaking to and being in love with somebody who was lying to me about who they were. After I found out the truth I nearly ended my life. People's emotions are not a game. And for those of you who are victims of these fake people, remember not to blame yourself. This isn't your fault. You'll get through this.

I've just read this and been in the exact same situation. If you ever need help or to talk I'd be happy to share my story

What If she also have loved you more than you did..lets say she lied about her apperance and look but all the feeling that she made you feel were true even though it was hurting her on the inside so much its because even though she knew that the person you were trully madly and deeply inlove with wasn't her? She continued it because you were happy and the reason why she ddn't tell you is she is also concerned about how you will feel, like let's say.. I bet you said the word like " I don't know what I ever do if you break up with me" or "I can't live without you" or i dunno, such deep words that made her feel so afraid to tell you the truth? Have you ever tought about what she felt for you? What if she confesses to you that she was a girl? Are you gonna be matture enough to handle, take the risk, give the chance ?? Because if you said you. Have "fallen inlove with that person, not only you have seen its appearance or you know, how they look like or what not but you have felt that that person was completely madly and deeply in love with you as well that the appearance ddn't matter to you anymore that the only thing you wanted was that person, who is making you smile, carring for you and was always there when you needed. Even though they have done all of ths things to you, will you give her a chnce to show you the real
Her? Will you accept it? If so then I beleive that you have really fallen in love with that persob that you accept them of who and what they really are...

ughh its soo sick just stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it's sick. It doesn't start out that way, though, and mostly, it's our own guilt and desire NOT to hurt them which ultimately destroys both the victim and ourselves in the end. Mine started out in a confusion; I didn't specify my gender, but everyone seemed to believe I was male, which I am not. This one girl whom I was very close friends with asked me out. I was confused but I did nothing, wanting our bond to further strengthen and not wanting to ruin her hopes and make things awkward. First mistake. Things went on, we developed, she became less naive. Another REAL male who also liked this poor girl started asking me "are you a girl? You sure you're not lying to me?" It crushed me inside but a
I still denied it. Second mistake. Another two years and I started acting like a technophobe in order to escape having to show myself. Third mistake. People started questioning it, and soon, my irl friend came on and started messing things up, but ultimately, it was all my fault. One of the online friends knew the truth. Got me to confess. He held things together in front of me, but behind me back he was telling people, who later confronted me and caused me great panic. Confessing to him. Fourth mistake. Last mistake was confronting him later. He was regarded more trustworthy and wise than I, and when I confronted him... he waited so long before he did anything at all. Then he told them all right in front of my face and shattered that girl's heart. I shouldn't have done this, but, I was one of the unlucky ones to fall into this situation, and be manipulated into a horrible person simply because I was too afraid to refuse them. Simply because I made too many mistakes. I didn't ever set out to hurt anyone.

I'm in a little bit different situation. I just caught my 12yr old daughter pretending to be a 14yr old gay boy. She even has created a relationship with another boy. I'm lost, I don't know what to do. Is this a cry for help? She's a good person. Good grades, friends at school, etc. I'm afraid if I don't intervene, the situation will get worse. And this poor boy on the other end, his heart will be so hurt. Any advice?

I started when I was 12 years old.... I'm now 28 and still struggle with it. I'd talk to her and try and help her as much as you can... for me and I'm sure for a lot of people it stems around insecurities and being afraid to be yourself. She may just be more comfortable with the identitiy she created, I wouldn't be worried but I'd definitely talk to her about it because from my personal experience it's ruined a huge part of my life.

End it! Your daughter is so young, sit her down and have a meaningful and deep conversation with her about why she's doing this and what you can do to help her. As time goes by this does become an addiction and like any other addiction it gets harder to get over, but with that being said just like addictions they CAN be helped. But if you talk to your daughter about why she feels like she has to pretend to be someone else and really take the time to try and understand her (even though it can hard) then you can help her. If it still happens i would say to seek a counselor.

Also, for the sake of the little boy end it. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Me too. It lasted 3 years until the girl finally found out from my other friend. Anyone doing this who hasn't yet been caught: stop; the lies will build up and up, and people will begin to have more suspicions. Trust me. Don't. I know how hard it is to leave them, and how guilty you will feel, just quit it while they still believe you. Quit, or feel 10 times worse.

Im going throught the same thing to this day.. im inlove with a girl who thinks im a guy and its been going on for 8 years now. i dont know what to do. i am such a bad person and lied about so much.

Me and my mate have just sat here and read all these, we feel sick this is our story...

weve knoiwn our mate beth for years since we was 13 .... shes allways been one of our good mates but something was never quite right and she made up for that on been such a gd friend... our other friend carly started txtin some lad when she was 14 and basically fell in love with her fne and every time she was supposed to meetm this so called ''boy'' he never showed up... beth was the one who passed on his number to her they was best mates and allways said ye hes great message him..anyway situation been he obvs never showed up but also did it to a load of othe friends we was all young and niaeve beth moved away every forgot abpout it alltho we had doubts it was her....
Years down the line were all sat in the pub and decided to ring this number for a laugh.. beth answered. we put the fone down in shock and laughed about it as she didnt live down here anymore so all just forgot about it...
Few more years down the line beth moved back and got intouch with everyone again. we never dwelled on the past we all just got over it and everyone became friends again.. nothing was ever mentioned. Recently our other friend sammy who was new to our group and new nothing about all of this in the past so had no reason to question anythin about beth... sammy became good friends with beth and out of the blue sammy started texting some boy called jay who told her he had text the wrong number but they decided to carry on textin anyway. they started an online relationship in the end but me and my friend realised it was all to much of a coinsidence and we analised everythin that beth did from then on... we knew that this boy was beth but didnt no how to tell sammy because beth had turned her all against us. started to get serious and when they arranged to meet jay would make a massive excuse i.e his dad had died, hospital etc so cudnt meet her. therefore sammy wud never question it. We decided it was goin to far so we made an aligation that beth was this 'jay' beth even went as far as making fake facebook accounts for 'jay' and his friends. police was involved numbers were traced... accounts were hacked they all led to beth. turns out shes done it to ALOT of girls. shes a female herself. weve always thought she was gay but bein good friends said it wudnt change anythin when she decided to come out.

It ****** with sammys head big time and tonight she tried to kill herself. i hope this will sort you all out and realise your mentally rapin people and its not fun nor nice what you are doing to people. go to the hospital you need MENTAL HELP you **** tards.... did u not see the documentary where that girl went as far as to rape the girls she was lying to. Your all going on about how upset you are but your ******* with innocent peoples lives! SORT IT OUT! knobheads.


THE END, p.s ur sick! theres not a single excuse u can use for usin someone elses identity its a criminal offense

This is really terrible....but you shouldn't judge everyone on what your friend Beth did. Some people who you just called "tards" actually do suffer from a mental illness or some sort of depression or issues. Yes, what they do is wrong, but it's a way to cope for some. And have you ever thought about the fact that some people like Beth have also attempted suicide or even succeeded because they KNOW what they're doing is wrong? I ABSOLUTELY understand where you are coming from. What happened to your friend was terrible and I'm sorry all of you had to experience that.

My deepest condolences.

I am in the same situation and I don't know what to do I posted as a guy on a free dating site with fake pics and I wasn't looking for a relationship or to fall in love with anyone then this nice girl started sending me messages and I didn't really care....she kept insisting to talk to me and I created fake aim and we were chatting everyday and I still really didn't care for her and we did exchange numbers and we were texting daily but then I stop texting her because I was busy with work and didn't really care to text her then she went to vacation and I got very sick with stomach virus and all the sudden I text her and she responded and I told her that I was sick and she showed that she cares and we started texting again she confessed she had delete it my number because I stopped texting her and she was so sweet and concerned about my health and I started caring for her and we text it eachother more and more I started having feelings for her and it was mutual but then she asked when she would hear my voice I kept avoiding the subjet but one day she called me and I answer with my own voice and its been 8 months and I'm in love and she wants to meet and I kept to giving excuses and she said she can't do this anymore she wants to meet today or she will be done with me and I'm supposed to meet her for coffee I want to tell her the truth but I am scared we have such a connection and mutual feelings but I don't want to hurt her what can I do?? She has an amazing personality and I'm not who she thinks I am ...I also like men but I like girls too

If you ever need to talk I'm here!

I'm going through the same thing :( I need someone to talk to.

If you ever need to talk I'm here!

Uhh desperate people u guys are Lez af! Omfg

Hey you can talk to me because I have almost the same stories...I am going through the same exact thing. Only mine was a 3 yr relationship, but just over the summer, I told the girl the truth. You should take a look at my stories or message me or something.

hey i have done this a couple of time but nothing serious, just to get some flirty guys off my back and scan the area safely, but i am thinking of venturing in this path again, because of this boy, who I can't get off my mind, it's a long story.....so idk lol

Hey guys im the same, but i think mines really crossed the line. alright, it all started when i was 11 years old( im a girl btw) and i found this virtual game where u could make avatars, and make em look cool and stuff. i made 2 accounts, a girl and a guy. i noticed that i dont really get much attention on the girl acc, so i got sucked into being a guy. it was really fun, trying to look cool, chasing girls and flirting. I made lots of friends, then soon i got really close to them that they started asking for pictures. of course, i had to fake my pics. i was really satisfied with the comments they gave me "omg ur so hot!" "cutee" so i thought i could keep going like that. until i met this girl who i've been going out with for 2 or 3 years. we clicked, it was the perfect chemistry. i would chat with her online for hours and hours and we wouldnt even notice the time.then one day she asked for my phone number so we can txt when we're not online. i feared that she would call me so i got a txting app on my ipod and gave her that number. ever since then we got closer. sending her goodmorning texts and goodnight texts. it was really awesome. we legit fell in love with each other. but then i started to think..what about in the future? we cant end up together in the future. theres no way. so then i found this discussion. u guys really encouraged me. like, if they can do it, so can i. easier said than done. seriously id give up my life for that girl. so after hours of crying and thinking about it, i broke up with her. of course i didnt tell her my real identity. i couldnt. it was the hardest thing i ever had to do since i love her so much. but its the right thing to do, if u truly care for them. i realized that i was stopping her life, giving her false hope, and i didnt want that for her. i actually broke up with her last night and now i feel numb and empty inside...hopefully this will disappear. im 14 years old now and i learned my lesson. just do it guys, its for the best.

I am going through the Same thing. Like there is this chat app on android. I started faking guys Pics and I'm a girl btw. Tons of girls on that app went all crazy over me and Ifell in love with this girl and she liked me too. One day she said she wanted to face time with me and I kept making excuse idk what to do right now. and we broke up. I just am so addicted. How I wish this was happening in rl so I have less problems

Crazy im going through the same thing. I have been doing this since i was 12 and I am 17 now. At first I started off using fake girl pics but the guys were super annoying and i had tons of pervs hmu so i switched to using a fake guys pics to see what it was like. After a few months of talking to some chick oddly even though i am heterosexual in reality i developed a cyber crush on this girl we eventually dated. Then after a while i dated several other ppl via internet. Tons of girls had crushes on me because they loved my personality. I even had some girls arguing over me and more. That made me feel good so i couldnt stop. After a while i got into some trouble with my parents and they took away my internet away for a few months. Once i was able to use it again i went right back to using fake accounts online. But I do not net date anymore. I use my fake account now just to be a good friend. I have met wonderful people that think im awesome. When im really not.

I am so relieved I found this forum because I’ve struggled with the exact same thing for a long time. It started when I was around 13, I’m now 28 and still find myself struggling with this. I pretend to be a guy online, I don’t even know why. I’ve tried to stop so many times and find myself just gets pulled back in when I get lonely or sad or whatever. Over the years I have seriously hurt so many girls and I feel terrible. I had serious feelings for a lot of them and still care about them more than anything. I never intended to hurt anyone, I just didn’t know how to stop. In real life, I’m not gay…at all I’m just so insecure, shy, have low self esteem and no confidence, I feel so much more confident online and talking to these people makes me happy which is something I’m not in real life. I’ve convinced myself I’m so ****** up and am getting Karma which is why I cant stop. I feel like I will be stuck in this lifestyle forever and I’ll never have a REAL life….which I want so desperately. I’ve looked so many times for info online about this sort of thing and never came across anyone else with this issue until now…I could never admit to anyone in real life what I do its so embarrassing… If anyone has any tips or advice on how to get out of this horrible cycle I’d love to hear it… I’m so tired of hurting other people as well as myself…

Well I'm a victim of this fake profile, you don't know how it hurts. You know what? You guys are selfish, you just care about your feelings and not others.

You can stop it anytime you want, you're just addicted hurting someone! Which is not good.

I have been living the same thing... but finally i had to get over it and tell the truth .. It hurts so much and I was feeling tired of hidding myself.. I couldnt this anymore,,,

actually i feel better and free , but the person who i lied to is Broken heart..

Glad that you feel better now. Well karma's a *****!

I am a 15 year old girl. Ive had the same problem. Since I was 12 ive been n pretending to be other people. It started out with me using epicures of girls from my school that I envied. Then somehow I started using guys and on this one site I dated this girl. Except I got in trouble over something and disappeared from the site from a while. Like 3 months and when I logged back on the girl still wanted to talk and she was in love with me. I thought I loved her too but I broke up with her because I knew I was doing wrong by pretending and I disappeared again. I rejoined the site months later as another guy and found out the girl commuted suicide...I knew she was real because shed make signs for me and stuff. I was really hurt by that but I never blamed myself because she had told me about her dad being abusive and stuff because she trusted me. As the new guy I made friends and had this one girl fall in love with me. But I was a bi guy because even using fake pics I wanted to be with guys Bc I am a straight female. I have a long list of people ive faked...maybe more than 10 in the past 3 years and I date many people and hurt them because some find out the truth and it hurts me by becoming so attacthed. Anyways, ive stopped for now because as I was faking a guy, Adam, my boyfriend (Adams bf) wanted to know the truth so I added him on my real facebook and he said he still loves me and we are dating now. But I have a strong urge to fake again because I get so lonely and as myself nobody talks to me because I am ugly and shy.

Seriously?? Someone committed suicide because of you and you still wanna continue what u r doing? Wtf?

It's me again, well after writing my first comment a few hours after I already confessed everything to him. I cried a lot, because I am really really worried. I told him my true identity everything about me. I also clarified to him that everything that I said about my feelings are all true. He's currently not home so he doesn't have an internet connection for me to be able to send my real picture. I am really really scared. he still treats me the same, but i don't know if he will still do that after seeing my picture. Damn, I was like blaming myself for not looking like the girl on the picture that I used. Blaming myself for being big. Sigh, I will be sending my real picture to him tomorrow. I am really scared :(

I'm shocked to find a forum that talks about this kind of thing. I am currently experiencing the same thing. I used my ex-friend's photo to chat online, and I suddenly felt great. People started messaging me and the good thing is that most of them are really nice. They started asking questions, and some of the information that I gave them were the information of my ex-friend. But of course I used my own personality or traits since I don't have problems with it. The problem started when this really nice guy started to be extra nice to me, and now we have this "cyber relationship" going on. I really like him and I can sense that he also likes me, but obviously he liked me more because of the pictures that I am using. We are set to meet this August and I am thinking of alibis that I can use. But of course I can't just live with alibis, I want to tell him badly the truth but I am too scared. I know I will be hurting him no matter how I explain myself. He won't like me, since the one in the picture is petite and I am the exact opposite of petite. I don't know what to do, I want to tell him before the month ends.

After five or six years I know exactly what you're going through. It's a scary thing to even want to stop and when I try I feel my heart breaking and I don't think I can do it but I want you to know that you can do it just as I can

about a year ago i posted under blackguitar. I forgot my password so made this new account.<br />
<br />
I just wanted to share that i've finally gotten out of this.. Kind of. I told the girl i love the truth about my identity. I told her everything. I wont lie to you it was hard, scary, and nerve racking but i did it. Her reaction to it was surprising. She was upset of course and angry but she still wanted to talk to me and get to know me. I think it was because we were so so in love with each other. We talked for a few months and i was so grateful that she still wanted to be friends. Slowly i realized that she was losing her feelings and attraction to me (naturally) and it hurt because i still felt the same way about her. Finally, she decided she didnt want to be friends anymore and wanted to move on. We stopped talk a few months ago. It still hurts everyday and i'm still IN LOVE with her and i still miss her so much. But i know this is whats best for both of us. I know i'll finaly get over her but right now its still hard. Im trying to mend my own life that ive neglected for so long in the process. I still think about her every single day and i know shes glad im out of her life probably but its for the best. A week ago we talked a little and she asked how i was and i asked how she was, shes happy and i think shes found someone new. It hurt when i found out but i know shes happy. I know i'll eventually get over this but i just wanted you to know that you HAVE to tell the girl you love the truth about your identity. If you truly love her you'll do it because she needs to be happy. You'll miss her and cry and be hurt for a long time after (thats just the honest truth) but its whats best for you and for her. I did it and trust me if i did anyone can. <br />
<br />
Good luck.

this is exactly what happened to me...except i fell in love with someone that i thought was a boy. The girl that was pretending to be a guy told me one night and i was shocked but idk...i still loved her. She doesnt talk to me anymore...our parents found out about us and now we cant talk. Ive tried to contact her...she thinks i dont love her anymore and...but i still love her. I miss her:( i miss her soooo much. I tried to move on but i need her...have you talked to her any? shes prob hurt also...dont leave her like the girl that i loved.left me .you say that its for the best but idk...its killing me. sorry its just your story sounded so similar to mine and just wanted to tell everyone on here that if you do love the person tell them the truth. If they love you they will understand...just dont leave them:( sorry HAD to post this...

I'm going through something similar but I'm still a girl and am just fooling one particular man. There is no fun in this.. I mean it fulfills the empty inside but it hurts so much cuz you want so desperately to tell the other person and have them love you for who you are. It's stressful.. it's painful.. unfortunately I love the guy I'm talking to.

I have been pretending online too ill tell you my story<br />
One day i was playing this online game and i made really good friends with someone we started asking questions like how old are you etc. Then came the biggy are you a boy or a girl? Confused about my sexuality i said a girl at the time, i was only 14 i was basic and stupid and i diddnt know what to do. We started talking more and more and then it evolved into something else. It has been going on and still is and i think it has gone way to far but if i spill the truth now i will get the height of abuse i feel sick for messing with his live he has missed out on lots of opportunitys of great girlfriends because of me and im not even real. I just want it to end but i dont know how. Any words or advice a way to start an argument for a break up? Idk. Thoughts PLx

Its crazy how your story is so similar to mine. I have been searching so much for a story I could find myself in so I wouldnt feel alone and I found it. Im 19 and the exact same way you described yourself, I dont know why I do it. and I have no idea how to stop. I feel so empty and alone when I try to stay away from this life Ive created..I really would like to talk to you. This is obviously not my personal email but ease contact me? I feel so lost livetolove_@ live.com

I'm a guy only thing about my situation is that I was pretending to be the guy in the pictures I didn't change anything about myself really not my name or my age/gender just using pictures that belongs to someone I once knew he's an American which I am not so whenever they want to talk I have to practice my voice to sound like an American and I have to try not to sound British at all because then that'd thrash my whole 19 year old American guy story and it works but I haven't fell in love with any of the girl's I have talked to I just like talking to them because they actually listen to me pretty much everyone listens to me and I like it but as far as webcamming nope because I don't need stalkers (I'm not an ugly guy at all). However I've actually deleted the pictures I plan on telling both of my friends that I'm not the guy in the pictures even if we do sort of favour one another it's not right, it's mean.

Hey i do the exact same thing i pose as a guy. i've been doing it for about ten years or so. I am now about to graduate college and i've dug a hol pretty deep for myself as well. I need people to talk to who are going through the same experiance. its an addiction and i don't know how to over come it.

this is obviously not my personal email but want to talk about it? I would like to :/ livetolove_@live.com

i'd love to have some people who can relate with me too.
maybe you can add me as well here is my email add gepoy@hotmail.com

if you wanna stop hurting people you can get over it.

I've been posing as a guy online since I was 13 also and i'm 20 years old now. I'm surprised i'm not the only one, because I thought I really was the only one and I thought I was crazy. I know I probably do it because I have insecurity issues, but at the same time I do it because I have seen what the real guys are like and I HATE IT. So I created the perfect guy. As I have gotten closer to these people over the years, I feel more and more guilty. First it started on myspace, then facebook, and now twitter. I keep digging this hole deeper than what I can get myself out of. I've been focusing more on this alternative life than my own! It's so addicting though, i've tried multiple times to stop but I keep going back. It has become one of those things that makes me comfortable doing, and not doing it would feel out of place and weird. I'm not a lesbian at all in my real life. When i'm posing as the guy though i'm highly interested in the women. It's weird, and I don't know why i'm like this.

hey i do the same thing. would you like to talk about it?

Hey, i know how you feel.<br />
I also, was pretending to be a guy for about 4 years on an interactive site (no webcams, microphones), only like avatars and typing to each other. I met this girl and i didnt think much of her when we met, but as we got to know each other - a side of me fell in love with her. After about a year or so, i was still pretending to be this guy i made up - prince charming , the perfect guy - with even the perfect looks. (i stole a pic from tumblr of a hawt hawt guy.) Anyways, so two years into our close relationship, I see pictures of her and she sees pictures of "me" and so we keep on talking, without webcamming or voice communication with each other because i made an excuse that "i had throat cancer and my throat isnt good - therefore i cannot talk". So after a year, and it was only today/tonight where i finally confessed to her because i had finally and utterly realised what a complete mess i have made of myself and most importantly, her, the civillian/innocent in this situation. So I tell her everything, my name, age, gender. At first, she is calm(er) than i thought she would be. As our conversation went on, I was emotional because i felt awfully guilty and thought of how she wouldve felt if this had happened to me... and she, well she was still a strong girl and didn't show her emotions. We kept on talking until she knew the other side of me, and now i think our trust is steady enough for me to tell her things i wouldn't tell others. Shes an amazing person, and is a really forgiving one too. I just can't believe it. Her reaction was nothing from what I thought it would be.. obviously she was shattered about me not telling her earlier and baiting her into this fake love.. but yeah. My advice, tell the person before you fall in love with them, because before you know it - you will realise you are not only harming yourself, but you are harming the other person too. Don't be so selfish like I was/am. Our relationship is as friends now btw.

Okay Ladies, (or gentlemen) <br />
Let’s get down to business. <br />
I have been there. I have been through all of that. There is no need for me to retell my story because it’s very similar to all of yours. Let’ just cut to the chase. I pretend to be a guy online. I feel in love with a girl. We have a relationship for several years (2-3) .. I told her many lies why I can’t webcam with her or meet up with her. And.. it drives me crazy because I felt I was living a lie & I can’t stop. b/C I REALIZED I loved her and I don’t want to hurt her with the truth. <br />
So, that was my story. But it passed now. I have survived. And I’m going to give you some tips on how to survive through this craziness. This is what I did for myself. <br />
I know this whole pretending process gets very addicting and it is hard to stop. Because in this pretending game, you are interacting and associating with real people. Worse yet, you are putting your heart and soul on the line. It may be a pretend character that you have created but it is your heart and you soul that goes into this character. It’s hard. But you have to stop, because it will slowly kill you inside & your real LIFE. <br />
1. Make up your mind that you have to stop. Be commited that you are willing to let this go. You have set your mind up. You can’t be iffy about this. You have to be 100% sure this is what you wanted. You want it to stop. <br />
2. Mess up the online relationship. If you can’t tell her the truth about your identity, then you need to mess it up. You need to drive your relationship with her down to hell. You are going to hurt her and break her heart. (It hurts, it’s something you don’t’ want to do, but I NEED TO BE DONE. Because at this rate, you can’t walk out of the relationship, you love her TOO MUCH. That is why she have to go. She have to walk out of the relationship herself. She will close the door on the relationship, because apparently, you can’t.) <br />
3. Once you wreck your relationship, she won’t want anything to do with you. She’ll stop communicating with you. She’ll just think of you as some guy jerk she fell in love with over the internet. She will move on. <br />
4. FOR YOU~!!!! You need to use this opportunity to drop everything. You need to stop going online as a guy. You cannot log on as a guy anymore. Any account that you use, you need to be registered as a girl, and be a girl online. If you can’t handle this, avoid the internet as much as possible and avoid sites that you commonly visit as a guy. AS A GUY ONLINE, YOU NEEED TO DISSAPEARED COMPLETELY! ( I don’t care how many other friends online you have created or how many people will miss your fake character. But you have to drop it all. You have force yourself to be strong and stay away)<br />
5. Give yourself 3-4 months. This time is to get over her. And You will hurt, you will cry, you will want to get back with her. But you must stay away from her. Delete her on all your connection. All your list. The only thing that is holding you back now is her. It’s always been her. It’s not your online friend. IT’s her. That’s the reason why it’s SO HARD TO stop ALL OF THIS. BECAUSE YOU LOVE HER. So you have to stay away from her and you NEED To get over her. (cry all you want, this is going to hurt as much as it hurt from a REAL BREAKUP. But trust me, within 3-4 months, it won’t hurt as much as anymore. She won’t be that important anymore. It takes time to remove person from your heart. It does and it will hurt. But like many people who been down this road, there is a way out. It does get better with time.) <br />
6. During this 3-4 months, this is a vital period. You need to get your mind off her and focus ON BUILDING YOU life again. You need to focus on yourself. You need to make real life friends and hang out with them. You need to focus on being a girl in real life. You need improve yourself. They way you look, the way you dress, maybe lose weight, learn to use make-up. Make friends, use facebook with YOUR REAL IDENTITY. Use tumbler and reblog things that you like. Take up a hobby. Learn photography. Lose weight. Do anything you improve on yourself in real life. <br />
7. After 3-4 months, you should be able to stop thinking about her everyday. You’ll be okay. You can live a normal life now. You will think about her every now and then, but you won’t want to go back there because you are better now. You are prettier now, you and happier now with your real friends. You have real established friendship with people in real life now. You will still miss her, but it doesn’t hurt that bad anymore. <br />
8. Give it another 6 months or a year, you’ll be a different person. You’ll probably won’t look the same like you were back when you pretending to be a guy. You’ll look prettier. You’ll spend more time taking care of yourself. And now, you’ll probably fall in love with someone. Or at least have a crush on someone that is real. (whether it is a guy, or a girl, its all depend on your sexuality… for me, I found out that I like girls. I’m gay. But it’s not bad, because I can actually have a real girlfriend that I can kiss and touch, and can love me for WHO I am and not what I pretend to be.) <br />
9. And slowly, your heart will love again. You will have crushes on some guy or some girl, and you’ll be ready to start new again. As yourself, and not as someone fake. <br />
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It’s not a simple thing. It’s a struggle day by day to improve. It will hurt. Someday, you will want to cry and run about to that zone. But you need to convice yourself to stop and that is over. And by breaking up your relationship with that online girl, she will close herself away from you. And this FORCES you to move on. If your still in a relationship with her, and everything is going well, it will be very very hard for you to stop. So you need to be brave and mess up it and end it for yourself. So there is no way for you to run back. So, it forces you to move on and escape from all these lies you have set up for yourself. It hurts, but it will get better. It will heal. <br />
I been through all of this. I have learn a lot about myself. I have struggle so much. And I feel your pain. But I have came out on the other side, and I want to let you know that, the grass is really greener over here. It’s really better and I would want it any other way. There is a way out. It hurts. But it’s there. You need to stay strong. You can do it. 

So did you tell her the truth or you just went for breaking down the relationship?

i still do this im sorry we in love and she not going nowhere ! im 20 she's 17 .

This post was more than a year old.. and sadly i am in the same situation sigh and i've been doing it for 3 yrs now.. as much as i wanted to stop.. it just really hard. I also had online relationship. I know im a bi but never really consider being together with a girl, and that girl i had relationship with is really nice and sweet and i feel bad that im being dishonest to her. I know she deserves to know the truth but i dont want to hurt her and i dont want to loose her as a friend coz even until now she remains my friend and i dont want to lose that. sigh, i hate that i had to lie but i dont know how to stop. I really wish i could because its really unfair to all my online friends. im sorry. =(

please stop.. someone is doing this to me and it's not fair. ur making this girl also stop her life. it's not fair on anyone. please stop and let her be happy

If it were only that easy. It isn't something we set out to do... it's a situation that we stumble into.

Ive went through this too, and I ended up telling her the truth. Now we don't talk, she's moved on and I'm still madly in love with her. Even when I did tell her the truth she stayed with me for another 2 months, but then said it was too hard for her. I'm trying to give her space and freedom, but I just miss her so much. Because we don't talk I'm waiting for the day she talks to me, but it looks like it's never going to happen. I know how you feel, and it sucks.

I'm going through the same thing. I fell in love with a girl and it got so uncontrollable that I told her the truth and now things are not the same with us. I miss her so much and it hurts so bad..

this is what im scared of &gt;.&lt;
i dont think i can tell it to her. but i know i cant go on like this forever ='(

i have the exact same story as you. i dont know how to stop it. please i need help. i'm in a relationship with this girl and i actually care about her alot... she loves me too. she wants to meet but i told her we can't and made up a ton of excuses and now she is heartbroken as we have been in this relationship for 1 1/2 years.. she thinks i am going to college in the fall and the distance would be even greater so we mutually agreed to break up but we can't stop talking. we have even gone so far to have phone sex and we talk on the phone all the time. sometimes i truly wish i could be this male character that i have made up. i've made him seem like this perfect amazing guy with a perfect life... i dont know what to do. i've realized ive come to ignore my real life because i've become so obsessed with this fake life. just thinking about it right now makes me feel like throwing up... i'm so surprised to find so many people that are in the same situation as me. it feels good to know that i'm not alone. i'm making it as a goal that when school starts i will finally stop this fantasy world i've made up. i'm hoping that the girl i'm in a relationship with will get over me too... we really care about each other. shes amazing, beautiful, funny and smart but she doesn't realize it and she says that if i dont want her no one will. please if any of you have gotten over this addiction please help me. this has been going on for years and i desperately need to escape it. it has completely taken over my life and its scary to think about how obsessed i am with it...

hey... I would like to get in contact with you to talk about this. I'm going through the same thing.... even worse than you if you could believe that. Lets talk ...

Hi can we talk too? I'm going through a similar situation.

I have the same problem but I do it for different reasons. I feel that I should have been a male so since I was 14 I pretended to do so online as a way to escape every day life. The hard thing about it is that Ive met some really sweet people. Happened to fall in love and I told this person. We are still talking and trying to work things out. Its not exactly the same as it was before but this person still loves me. I still have a lot of people who I talk to on the phone and trade pictures with who still know me as my male identity. Its so hard sometimes but I guess Im living in a fantasy world.

How do we know you're not a guy pretending to be a girl pretending to be a guy? J/K<br />
My point is, nobody really knows who anybody is.Some of the "girls" you met may very well have been guys.There are some pretty elaborate voice changing software out there that can make you sound convincingly like the opposite sex.You did the smart thing not agreeing to meet with anyone though. You could have been going up against some 50 year old ********* pretending to be a teenage girl to attract young boys.

I've been through this same thing. I know how you feel and I've always wanted someone to talk to this about. If you want to, you can send me a message.

Im a 22 year old guy looking for a female to exchange voices with, mainly just voice recordings. Have been going through the same creepy stuff for a long time and just want it to end. Really want to give this make believe person I've created a voice to erase all doubt and then go cold turkey. I feel like doctor frankenstein lol. Willing to work with anybody, can contact me at reclusive129@ yahoo.com without the space, or pm me here

I understand what you're going through completely. I have a very similar experience. I'll post it here in a moment...

I'm going through something similar. I don't know what to do anymore.

i also don't believe you're doing this for fun. if you would like to talk to someone understanding, send me a message, i think i know what you're going through even though our situations may be different.

I hardly know what to think. Once you start down this path, no one ever knows if you are telling the truth or not. You could be making this up, too. But, call me a fool, I believe you.<br />
<br />
Now, let me read the tea leaves.<br />
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I don't think anyone gets addicted to anything except as a way to cover over a pain. In your case, I think it is the pain of not feeling good about yourself, despite your prettiness. This kind of feeling may not be a rational feeling -- i.e., not based on facts, but where feelings about self are concerned, facts matter little.<br />
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Feelings of low self-worth don't come from nowhere, either. They usually come from the way a person is treated by important adults in their childhood. It could be things like parents being divorced and feeling responsible for the divorce. Or the mother says she never wanted you. Or your parents had such high standards, you could never match up to them. Or a parent dies. Or you are adopted.<br />
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Feeling bad about yourself is really painful. It often results in feeling like killing yourself, although it doesn't have to. Depression can appear. Grades might suffer. Or you might turn to school as a relief, and grades might be very good.<br />
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In any case, if you feel bad about yourself and if you feel like people will abandon you once they find out who you are, something like the internet can be a relief, especially if you can be anyone you want to be. You didn't randomly decide to "play games" and try to pass as a guy. Not everyone does that. Not everyone is interested in being someone other than who they are. There was a reason behind what you did. <br />
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Then it made you feel good. It probably also made you feel safe. Maybe you understood that on some level you were interacting with fantasies you create and place on the other people you meet online. You are a story teller, playing with yourself more than anyone else. And the drama is good, too, because it fits the idea that everyone will abandon you sooner or later.<br />
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When you get involved with someone and they fall in love with you, it's a high better than any drug. It gives you a feeling that you really are worth while -- temporarily. The feeling goes after a while, and things get hard to explain, and people get suspicious and then they are gone.<br />
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There is a solution. Well, several solutions, in fact. Mindfulness is the one I like. All these feelings about myself -- well, they are just thoughts made up to explain the feelings. If I learn to not be very attached to the thoughts, but to just let them appear and then go away, they don't make things worse. The emotions are bad enough. Why make them worse with my thoughts?<br />
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The way I can let the thoughts go is by focusing on my breath. When I focus on something else, something neutral, I don't have as much energy for the thoughts. If I can focus on my breath and do something else, then there really is no room for the thoughts. Doing could be running or making music or hanging out with friends or whatever.<br />
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You can also defuse the thoughts in another way. You can use rationality and ob<x>jectivity. When you think you are worthless, you can say that that can't be true, because so many women on the internet wouldn't like you if you were worthless. There is something there. It's not all based on fakery. You probably have other talents and relationships that you can use to counteract the negative ideas that bring you down.<br />
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Doing these things is one way to start to wean yourself from what you call an addiction. You will need to replace internet activities with other activities. Do things with your real life friends. Pick up hobbies. Make music. Volunteer. Are you in college? There are many activities to do in college.<br />
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You can also make amends, by telling everyone the truth, apologizing, and trying to do what you can to change yourself so you don't hurt anyone else.<br />
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The way to deal with the pain is to deal with the pain. Find out whatever is causing it, or caused it (although this is not, strictly speaking, necessary). Then deal with the emotions. Deal with the pain. Teach yourself how to cope with it. Teach yourself how to behave more effectively, so you can get more of what you want out of life. <br />
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I don't think the pain will ever go away, but I do think you can cope with it better. I even think it can become a strength. Pain teaches you a lot. It is one of the best ways to learn -- if you are willing to face it and learn from it. Yeah, it hurts. But it hurts anyway, even if you cover it over. If you cover it over, it keeps trying to pop up, and then, whatever your addiction is, you have to do it more and more in order to cover over the pain. It is far more effective in the long run to just learn how to cope with it head on.<br />
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Good luck. You know where to find me if you have any questions. You can read my stories about this topic, too. There are a lot of them.

I googled my problem like many of you and found this amazing site. I couldnt believe I wasnt the only person in the world with this problem. It started when I was 14, I pretended to be a guy online except I didnt do it through chat rooms or with people I didnt know. I had a friend who had a best friend who had a cousin. I knew them all very well they were even my friends but i didnt know the cousin and I'll call her "Janet" I spoke with janet on msn with my fake male identity she believed me since her cousin was friends with everyone else i knew. Time went by and we spoke everyday and had so much in common and a connection developed it was kind of a fun thing to do after school when i was stuck home and i really didnt think it would get as far as it got. Soon she wanted to talk to me on the phone and i tried to get myself out of it but she wouldnt stop begging me so i tried it out thinking that it would never work but unfortunetly it did and i didnt even had to try that hard to disguise my voice. Soon we spoke every night when my mother and step father were sleeping. We spoke all night about everything things i had never spoken about with anyone. I wish i could have just been myself and met her as me cuz i knew we could have probably been almost best friends. A couple of years had passed by and she was as in love with me as i was with her. I thought many times about stopping and i wish i could but i became too attached. Soon enough she wanted to meet me and I didnt even realize how much i had believe this fantacy. I decided to take it even further I was already 15 and my parents werent home so i invited her over but i dressed up in my brothers clothes actually thinking i could fool her. When she arrived she knew right away i wasnt the guy from the pictures i had shown her. but she went a long with her. this was the first time i had ever met her in person. She began to ask me many questions and i knew she knew i wasnt a guy. She made up a story about her friend being in an accident and how she had to leave and shed be back. She never came back and she never spoke to me again. It was the most embarrasing moment of my entire life. I apologized 1000 times to her through voicemails and text but it was hopeless. I got into this deep depression for months. Finally i got over it and went back to my real life. Years had passed by and i lived a normal life i had lots of friends i had boyfriends i even fell inlove. Later i was single and was a senior in high school and was going through a lot of abuse at home. I went on msn and created a new guy and this time i used the pictures of this guy that was extreamly hot. yes i thought he was so hot that no girl would ever be able to turn him down and this guys pictures were from the "Janets" friend. now i lied to another girl pretended to be this new guy. But this girl was actually a close friend of mine. It was sick cuz when i was with her as me i had to lie to her about him. This realtionship got as intence and deep as the first one. Years had passed by and we were deeply inlove that i had dreams of marrying her although it was impossible. I have read every single post and I probably will be the first to admit that i took this to a deeper level to the point that i had phone sex with this girl several times. but eventually she couldnt take the long distance thing anymore and met a real guy and it was even worst then the first time i did this cuz i had to see her pictures with him kissing and it killed me. I fell into this depression again accept this one lasted much longer. To make mattes worst the only was i could cope with the pain of loosing her to someone else was making a new guy and getting her firend to fall for me. That realtionship started and last two years. This time i was really sick of pretending and it was getting hard to juggle to lives and i was having problems in my real life with the people i loved. So now im 21 and me and this last girl have finally decided to go are seperate ways and im very thankful because I am inlove with a guy that i dont have to pretend to be anyone but myself and we have plans and are very happy. Its been hard not to speak to the last girl but day by day its gotten easier and The advice i can give is I prayed about this sickness for years and i was truly addicted. But just like all of you i wanted to be free becuase this was a high that was hurting not just the other person but ourselves. I found a person i can actually touch and kiss and hug and look into there eyes someone i can hold and can hold me someone i can have a real life with. I am free and just like i got through it so can any of you. It was extreamly painful and it took time a desperate measures at times and lots of prayer and faith in God. In the end remember the real people in your lives that love you the ones your not talking to or spending time with. The time that is being wasted and the guilt that keeps grownig. God got me through this, Just pray and believe and ask him to remove this person from your life forever because you cant do it alone just like i couldnt. I needed him to do it and he did although it hurt me. And you take it day by day and you heal. Then one day you meet someone that changes your world and you discover how much you have to offer to the world. I work on my passions and dreams and goals daily so i never have time to even be tempted. Beause just liek any addiction its a daily fight that we must work on. If any of you have any further questions or anything feel free to ask.

I too have made game characters/email addresses of the opposite sex too (about 4 years ago now). I only did this to help me figure out my sexuality though. I pretended to be a guy so I could find out if I liked girls and even if I was a guy trapped in a girls body at one point. It helped me to find out that I'm a lesbian and it gave me a lot of confidence about who I really was once I started to make game characters / etc as being a girl and being open about liking other girls. Pretending to be someone different can be addictive because it's like starting life over again to see what it's like either for fun, knowledge or to get a better understand of who you truly are. If it wasn't for today's technology I properly would still be in the closet thinking no one is going to accept me for who I truly am and end up being depressed. I have met someone who was like this before the internet came out and it made me very thankful for the ability it gave me to live my life how I am.