I Pretend I'm Someone Else
Not really. How about a big FML.
The hell I put myself through the past 24 hours... and we are right back in it. Oh my ******* god he's buying my plane ticket tomorrow for this March during spring break. I hope it's refundable....
Another couple hours obliterated, sharing pix that aren't mine, talking on the phone about Love Park and driving up to New York for the weekend. He texted me today and I should have resisted but I paint even harder and faster until my corner is entirely red. He apologized, of course I forgave him, in the blink of my bewitching eye.
Even now though I don't even know if I still want out. There is this sick sick part of me that's curious how far I can take it. How far WILL I take it? How many more failed attempts at staying "sober" of him and of this annihilation of my mind?
This behavior I know caused my divorce from my husband, I know without a doubt I'll never be able to have a real relationship with anyone face to face. I'm so ******* disconnected I can't get hooked back up for the life of me.
The hell I put myself through the past 24 hours... and we are right back in it. Oh my ******* god he's buying my plane ticket tomorrow for this March during spring break. I hope it's refundable....
Another couple hours obliterated, sharing pix that aren't mine, talking on the phone about Love Park and driving up to New York for the weekend. He texted me today and I should have resisted but I paint even harder and faster until my corner is entirely red. He apologized, of course I forgave him, in the bl
Even now though I don't even know if I still want out. There is this sick sick part of me that's curious how far I can take it. How far WILL I take it? How many more failed attempts at staying "sober" of him and of this annihilation of my mind?
This behavior I know caused my divorce from my husband, I know without a doubt I'll never be able to have a real relationship with anyone face to face. I'm so ******* disconnected I can't get hooked back up for the life of me.
By:
this1wonthurt
Age:
26-30
,
Female
