I Am Sick Of It......

I feel myself changed over the past few years.....
I am suffering from optic neuropathy and therfore raed books keeping them very close to my face....(.I even read things with a magnifying glass because my desire to read has not yet surrended to my disability.).....and so earlier when people laughes at me for looking at things so closele, I generally tried to explain them going into my medical details ...
but I gradually realised that its no use explaining yourself to everyone with sometimes half the people not interested to know....so I took upon an attitude of pretence.....I dont tell about my disability to anyone whom I meet now...when I am not able to read things, I prefer to say that I am not willing to read them and find excuses for help that are not rue!
And thats the reason why I love EP.....its makes me feel light to type down the things that I shall never have the courage to speak because of my lack of self confidence to present myself the awy I am and be accepted that way.....
But I am sick of it now....I want to be loved foe what I am and want to have people around me before whom I wouln't need to pretend!
Sia1992 Sia1992
18-21, F
2 Responses May 5, 2012

I very much agree with the having to love yourself first! Be good to yourself and never ..NEVER feel bad for yourself. Sometimes just looking in the mirror and smiling at yourself helps. It's a step and you'd be surprised what little motivators here and there can do !

Thanks:)...I would try that for sure:)

if you want to be loved, then you will have to love yourself first.<br />
you will have to feel proud of whoever you are.<br />
that's the first and most important step.<br />
<br />
if you yourself dont have any confidence in you, how do expect others to.<br />
<br />
also remember that 95% of people are dumbasses... they are too dumb to understand what you're going through... so u need not explain your situation to the stupid ones.<br />
and, the smart ones, will understand on their own, so u dont have to explain them either.<br />
<br />
You are a wonderful person dear! and someone's approval or denial aint gonna make any difference to that.<br />
<br />
Bottomline: stop worrying about how others judge you, and just love yourself n your life dear :)

Thanks.....I shall try my best to do that.....!:)