I Love Her So Damn Much
i hate this. I HATE THIS FAKE LIFE I HAVE. i just cant seem to get out of it. i faked myself as a guy just to mess around at first, but then i didnt realize how serious it could get. i ended up becoming best friends and falling in love with a girl with this fake identity and i even went out with her for 3 months. i broke up with her nearly 3 months ago too because she wanted more of a connection, she wanted me to call her and webcam with her and send her things. GOD IF ONLY SHE KNEW ME FOR MYSELF ID CALL HER EVERY DAY AND ID DO ALL THOSE THINGS!! she was heart broken... we still talk and i cant stop being nice to her and telling her all these sweet things. we text from day to night and i cant let her go. i know shes bisexual and i know she would date someone like me (i dont mean to be stuck up but im great looking too). i want her in my real life and wish i could tell her but im just in so deep.. i was thinking of getting in contact with her somewhere else on the internet as the real me and have her get to know me. im basically the very same person i tell her i am.. just a different face. my debate is if i should tell her and risk the chances of losing her forever or starting over elsewhere and killing off this fake person somehow. she loves me so much too, and it hurts to know what im doing to her. if i could go back and make things right, i would. if things would work out, i swear i would fly to her location just to be with her. my fake person is so far and advanced in knowing her and being close with her. im thinking, what if i dont get the chance to be as close with her this time??? shes so complicated and has small issues but i seem to be the only one to bright up her day. she does the same for me. which should i do??? i couldnt bare lose her. shes even saved me from myself before.