I Love Her So Damn Much

i hate this. I HATE THIS FAKE LIFE I HAVE. i just cant seem to get out of it. i faked myself as a guy just to mess around at first, but then i didnt realize how serious it could get. i ended up becoming best friends and falling in love with a girl with this fake identity and i even went out with her for 3 months. i broke up with her nearly 3 months ago too because she wanted more of a connection, she wanted me to call her and webcam with her and send her things. GOD IF ONLY SHE KNEW ME FOR MYSELF ID CALL HER EVERY DAY AND ID DO ALL THOSE THINGS!! she was heart broken... we still talk and i cant stop being nice to her and telling her all these sweet things. we text from day to night and i cant let her go. i know shes bisexual and i know she would date someone like me (i dont mean to be stuck up but im great looking too). i want her in my real life and wish i could tell her but im just in so deep.. i was thinking of getting in contact with her somewhere else on the internet as the real me and have her get to know me. im basically the very same person i tell her i am.. just a different face. my debate is if i should tell her and risk the chances of losing her forever or starting over elsewhere and killing off this fake person somehow. she loves me so much too, and it hurts to know what im doing to her. if i could go back and make things right, i would. if things would work out, i swear i would fly to her location just to be with her. my fake person is so far and advanced in knowing her and being close with her. im thinking, what if i dont get the chance to be as close with her this time??? shes so complicated and has small issues but i seem to be the only one to bright up her day. she does the same for me. which should i do??? i couldnt bare lose her. shes even saved me from myself before.
damndelirium damndelirium
18-21, F
5 Responses May 13, 2012

Hey I noticed in your story you said something about killing off your "Character" ...I don't think that's a good idea from experience. Read my first story

Just tell her- the more lies you have the bigger deal it will be when it all comes to reality. We shouldn't lie to the ones we love, and if we do-- it's always best to tell them before they find out on their own. At least you can be at peace with yourself knowing that you don't have to hide anymore.

ive gone through this. tell her. seriously tell her. itll be a load off your shoulders and it might work out for you

I'm in the same situtation now except I am a pretty girl pretending to be a different pretty girl. The guy is IN LOVE with my personality and has made it clear that he is in love with only my personality and the rest is just a bonus. I started doing this for the wrong reasons and then got cought up as well. I'm in deep.. my advice?? Tell her.. prepare everything you want to say and easase her into it. I am the fake person but the personality and everything he is in love with is real.. I'm debating truth at the right time myself


I say tell her the true! Let her made the decision and then take it from there.