In Love With My Friend And I Dont Think I Want To Be

Im having real troubles. About two years ago i was very fearful about what peole thought of me even online. So i was afraid to even fb chat with ppl, so one day i thought of something, I thought to create a fake fb account. When i did it all i wanted was to talk to people with no issue. I figured since they thought i was someone else anything rude they may sau to me wouldnt affect me. For awhile it was okay, until in march of this year i got on the fb account and i had a message from a very nice guy. Throughout the months we talked, him being himself, and me being this girl. We feel in love, and he constantly wanted to meet me, and wanted me to stay at his house for several days. However of course i couldnt because i wasnt really this girl. It was painful because i really feel for him, or maybe me as this girl i dont know. After about aguast, he no loner wanter to wait for the online girl, And for most after awhile theyd get better, however the real me is really good friends with this guy. I see him several times a week. And recently he has a new girl. I get sick when i see them kiss or hold each other, and just today when i was tired and asked to stay at his house for the night, he told me him and the girlwere going to get into something. Which i took it as sex. I dont know if im in love with him, or if me as that girl is in love, I just dont know what tp do. i dont wanna loose him as a friend, but its so hard seeing him with someone else, i dont know what to do. just recently him and that new girl confirmed they are in a relationship on fb, and he calls her baby now. the girl i pretended to be is very real inside me, and is hurting badly. i cant realx, its weird. i know him and the person i pretended to be would never be together, but still i hate this. please advice, help from anyone please!!!
jereia2456 jereia2456
18-21, M
Dec 4, 2012