The Sweet, Sweet Smell Of Freedom!

Sooo, I've recently written a story called "The Great Pretender" ( telling my tale on how I started to pretend on the internet. So tonight is the night I'm going to tell you how I told my closest friend that I was not this girl online that I once proclaimed to be. We haven't talked on the phone in a few days because he has a job that keeps him busy, among other things in his life. I thought about it all the time now that we haven't talked in awhile. I thought about it when I slept, when I ate, even with I watched t.v. (Catfish: The TV Show).

Then one day, I decided it was time to tell the truth. I then was confused on the how and when of the situation, I knew I couldn't do it over the phone because I would be too scared of their intial reactions. Also, I knew that via text wasn't the way to go because it wasn't personal enough, and this was definatily a personal situation. So I finally discovered that I could record voice memos and send them via email. I recorded it, saved it, and put it as a draft in the email. I then faced one more problem... sending it.

But I knew it was right and I knew it was wayyy past-due. So when he called at the beginning of the conversation, I told him there was something important that I've been thinking about and that I wanted to tell him. He, of course, asked what it was but I all I told him was that I was going to tell him later. I wanted to cherish this conversation because I knew when I told him that I was pretending to be someone else online, EVERYTHING would change. We talked for about 2 or 3 hrs. and I could tell he was about to go to sleep so I told him to check his email before he fell asleep. I quickly sent the voice memo in fear that he would just give up and fall asleep then... I waited.

The actual voice memo was only about 3mins. long but those three minutes felt like three years. Not only after, I recieved a text message and my heart dropped. My stomach was doing a billion flips per second. But when I looked at the message, my heart fluttered and I started crying... a lot. But these were tears of JOY not sadness. His message basically stated that he was thankful that I had told the truth, he was still my friend, and he thought it was incredibly brave for me to tell the truth like I did. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I was completley prepared that he was going to hate me forever but... he doesn't!

It felt soooooo goood to just tell the truth and be free, and not pretend anymore. I could truley and 10000% just be me! Honestly, at first I deeply regretted it, I didn't want anything to change, until I realized that change was the only way to improve at this point. I care about him so deeply and the fact that I was lying to him killed me everyday when he called that girls name! BUT I'M FREE! I'M FREEE! Lol, I STRONGLY STRONGLY encourage everyone in this group to move towards doing the same thing.

I didn't do it in a day, and maybe you can't either. For me, the first steps were actually this website... I've told no one EVER about this. Posting about our stories is one thing about deciding to make a change to better our lives in another. We can't just rest on our butts and expect everything to be okay. Don't just write your story... try and improve it, like me. Don't settle for less because we all deserve to be loved, but we cannot be loved if we do not truly love ourselves. Thank you and good luck :)))

Meozzzy Meozzzy
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 5, 2012

This really inspired me to come clean to this guy I fell in love with, Except I lost him :( I know... but I was expecting the worst & was prepared for it... Now everything reminds me of him. I just want to say thanks for inspiring me to come clean.