I Dont Refer To It As Schizophrenia

i'm a 14 year old Female. I have been making up scenerios in my head for a while and acting them out in real life, based on my favorite books Like Fifty Shades of Grey, Twilight (please dont judge) and others including The Dark House series. I would Make up a character and fit them into the storybook plot somehow. I know the Characters are all fictional in my head but i pretend they're real and talk to them. For instants i go to the bathroom and act out scenerios in my head of what happend in the book but how my charcter would have handled it. This may not seem as brutal but when i listen to audio books or read normal books i put my self in the leading Charcters shoes and i get really emotional to the point where im mad when they're mad and i cry when they cry, i think of them as friends and i get really depressed when i finsh a book. i pretend to be them too extremes! I take breaks from home schooling and spend time in the bathroom from 30min- 2 hrs just pretending to be them. i looked up what my symptoms may be and it said i could be schizophrenic. But i  got really pissed because it said stuff like "horrible desease." and "DONT WORRY, ITS CURABLE." i  dont think its something to look down on. I dont want help, i jst want someone to understand whats its like to live in your own world (in your head, imagination, ect.) all most all day. i even talk to the characters (fully aware that thats not really the character talking back) and ask them advice or just chat. This didnt start when i was home schooled, its gone on way before that. i want to belive they are there SO Badly! i thought i was the only one who did this, im so happy to see i was wrong. and to be honest i even got a little depressed when i just typed "fully aware that thats not really the character talking back". i just need a someone who knows what im talking about! and understands!!! i've started writing books so tht helps. i even have this one male character in my mind that plays the leading male role in all my books. is that bad? and i feel that im never going to find anyone who appeals to me as much as this fictional character so i will never have a normal relationship with out comparing the real and fake. i even csught my self asking my friend " Do you think the imaginations powerful to extremes?" She thought i was a freak! thats my story, thanks for reading and possibly understanding. :)
JacklynnGrey JacklynnGrey
13-15, F
Dec 11, 2012