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I'm Trying To Get Better With This.

I posted my first story about it back in July. I'm posting again because on Christmas Eve, I kind of.. "killed" the person that I was pretending to me. But as myself, I still talk to the person who the person I was pretending to be was with. I recently got an email from them that they don't believe they're gone. Well of course they won't be gone because I myself, am still alive. It's hard, to let go of that. But it was holding me back in my own life, that it was stressing me out and giving me headaches. I tried to get professional help, but I got scared and just gave up. Because I don't want to have to repeat all this to a professional and they'll probably diagnose me with something and put me in the hospital or something. I don't want that to happen because I have so much going on with my own life.
I did try on occasion to meet with that person but it never happened because something always happened with that person. But I think as myself, if they're still alive, I'll try to meet with them in person.
It's a step closer to getting better I guess. And that's good, right? It'll be hard though. Nobody I know in real life knows about this either. Kind of sucks I have no one to talk to about it, really.
lockerkid lockerkid 18-21, F Dec 30, 2012

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