I Pretend For My Family (for My Own Sake)
Ever since I was about thirteen I have felt as though I didn't fit in with my mother's side of the family. The religion that they practice revolves around sexism, racism, and abstinance until marriage (the first two are merely swept under the rug). However, I feel all should be equal. Also, until I was about seventeen, I beleived in abstinance until marriage also. Then I knew I was deeply in love with the man I am most likely going to marry. We let our gaurd down for a day and were swept away by passion (in the back of my mom's truck btw). About four months later I turned eighteen and told my mother. When I turned eighteen I felt more relaxed around my mother's family because, I guess, now they don't have to like me if they don't want to. But now, I have met my boyfriends extended family and have found that his mother's family is exactly like my family, up the butt mormon(LDS)(which ever you prefer)! Anyway, I feel as though I am trying to impress them by being something I'm not. Even tonight, I elected to stay at my friend's house because his grandparents were staying the night. All of my grandparents and his other grandparents have no problem with us sleeping in the same bed. They understand that we are adults and are deeply in love. So in love that we are each other's best friends. We don't make love every night, we can resist our urges. I don't want them to think I am a (Not nice word) for doing their grandkid but really we are adults. I hate pretending I am this goody goody. It's not me! Ya know what I mean.