I Pretend For My Family (for My Own Sake)

Ever since I was about thirteen I have felt as though I didn't fit in with my mother's side of the family.  The religion that they practice revolves around sexism, racism, and abstinance until marriage (the first two are merely swept under the rug).  However, I feel all should be equal.  Also, until I was about seventeen, I beleived in abstinance until marriage also.  Then I knew I was deeply in love with the man I am most likely going to marry.  We let our gaurd down for a day and were swept away by passion (in the back of my mom's truck btw).  About four months later I turned eighteen and told my mother.  When I turned eighteen I felt more relaxed around my mother's family because, I guess, now they don't have to like me if they don't want to.  But now, I have met my boyfriends extended family and have found that his mother's family is exactly like my family, up the butt mormon(LDS)(which ever you prefer)!  Anyway, I feel as though I am trying to impress them by being something I'm not.  Even tonight, I elected to stay at my friend's house because his grandparents were staying the night.  All of my grandparents and his other grandparents have no problem with us sleeping in the same bed.  They understand that we are adults and are deeply in love.  So in love that we are each other's best friends.  We don't make love every night, we can resist our urges.  I don't want them to think I am a (Not nice word) for doing their grandkid but really we are adults.  I hate pretending I am this goody goody.  It's not me!  Ya know what I mean.

Elphie299 Elphie299
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 4, 2008

How did I know you were LDS before even scrolling far enough to see you'd mentioned it? Bleh. What a repressed society. The women are virgins till seventeen, married by twenty one, knocked up twice by twenty four, divorced by thirty, and dating agnostic cigarette smoking rocker types like me (or black dudes 50/50 either way) once they're middle aged. I always try to encourage missionaries to think for themselves. Listen to anarchist music, research beliefs from all different cultures and take what you will from each of their doctrines. Oh well.

The best part of life is being able to be who you wanna be. You shouldn't be pressured to be one of those discriminative Mormons. Maybe you and him should plan on getting away from them for a while. If he doesn't agree then that's his fault, he doesn't want happiness for you then :/

Yeah, Morman = weird. I agree, can't help it. I know the history of it...

you know, the best part of growing up is finding out who you are meant to be. Not just who your parents or grandparents WANT you to be, but who you were meant to be. That may disappoint some people, and thrill others...but its all relative (like everything in life) <br />
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if you believe in yourself, and do what feels right for you everything else will work out fine.<br />
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Best of luck to you...