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I Pretend I'm a Beautiful Girl...

I have pretended to be someone else online and in real life for some time. I've created an entire other person, older, prettier, more successful than myself. I've been talking to this guy for years... I can't go a day without talking to him... I am in love with him. I don't know what to do... he's getting fed up with not having met me, and I just want to be this girl so badly that I would do anything. I don't know what my issue is... I hate myself so much I have to pretend to be someone entirely different and lie to the people I love. I need someone to talk to, I need help. I just don't know what to do... =(

itsmeAoli itsmeAoli 22-25, F 12 Responses Jul 24, 2009

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why not fake your death

i know how you feel because i went through the same situation and its been about 9 months that i started talking to this guy while pretending to be this really pretty girl and i wanted him to know who i really was so i got the courage to do so and he accepted me and honestly girl, if you ever decide to tell him the truth, if he accepts you for who you are it means he's the right guy and not just a guy who cares for looks. so just talk to him about it, im sure you are beautiful yourself<3

I am going through the same situation. I'm not sure that it may be as worse as most or not able to amount to what others have done. I created a fake profile last year because I am insecure with myself. I made this person to be beautiful, have a great life, wonderful friends, huge family that cares about each other. I got on this chat site where I met this amazing woman. We talked just as friends for the few couple months or so. But afterwards, I started growing feelings for this female, and she shared the same feelings. This person I have created is in a relationship with this woman. I am so afraid of hurting her when she finds out that this person is not even real. I know that there is no way around of some type of heart ache. With this created person, I have made so many wonderful friends that are close. These are the type of friends I know that I would never have in real life, nor would they like me as well. I don't get along well with other people as my real self, and it just seems so much easier to talk to others as this girl I created. Through her I am actually happy. I often find myself wishing so badly that I could be her, just so I can be with the woman I fell in love with.

I am going through the same thing as u, but maybe worse. I've practically become the girl in my photo even had people called me by the name I gave her and lie to probably about 6 friends I currently contact often and talk to everyday as well as to a host of others on twitter and Facebook. It has even spanned to the point of creating about 8 diff fake profiles in order to make friends for this girl so that her life seems as interesting as I talk about. I have even created a profile for her mom using stolen pics. Most of the pics I steal from are those who are actually her friends and family in real life I've just placed them in a different place and with myself in it, so in short stealing her life and recreating it as my own with my own stories. I've made quite a few very close friends in doing this who may have not liked me If I had shown a real image of myself. This has been going on for years and I have had friends like this for about 6 years.There has been many demands to meet, but I talk my way out of all of them and make up many lies. (eg. staying in another country for a while). The friends I met are amazing and wonderful and they love me so much, I have never met such people in my real life. I am a very antisocial person and definitely not beautiful but I have tried to make friends in real life but as soon as they know me they hate me. I dont know. I have tried many times to delete the fake profiles and go out into the real world as the real me but I always retreat back to the fake. It gives me so much confidence to express my true feelings, desires, goals etc. and not caring about judgments. Why cant people like me in real life when I do this? Because I am ugly, beautiful people or what society consider "beautiful" gets away with being who they really are w/o a much judgments or disregard as someone not beautiful. I have even tried to incorporate my real self into it by introducing the real me (using my real pics) as a friend of the fake me and I'm still ignored disregarded and shunned. When I am not talking to my friends about my fabulous life I am fantasizing about it, This is deep in my conscious and subconscious mind, I practically feel like I am the girl and sometimes I forget that I dont look like her.My tiny few real life friends and family may have suspected on several occasions whats actually happening but maybe they thought it too good and too thorough to be true. My life practically revolves around this fake life and I spend majority of my time making up exciting dramatic stories to tell my friends about this fabulous life. It has come to the point where I honestly dont know who I am anymore. I also believe living this secret life online has been a coping mechanism as someone who is very alone and possible harboring many a social or psychological disorders, I would have long blew my brains out from sheer boredom if it wasn't for this secret life/hobby/LIFE. Every day I wish and long and hope I could just look like the girl i the photo for 1 day just 1, of course that will never happen.I am well aware of how ****** up this is and the details are soooo great Its too much to type here alone but I am in wayyy deep. I really wish I knew how to just be me and be liked by people or at least not care as much if I'm not. But I do care and I do wish for love and attention and just honest genuine people who will accept me for me. :'(. Do I plan to live this way forever, no. Its impossible to and I know a clear cut path to escape this secret life, I do, but what will be left, will my life spiral down into insanity and suicide, it just might. I really have no purpose no motivation to live as my true self. Nobody likes me as the real me.So I really understand what you're going through. I do.ps. That tinyeye website doesnt work for all the pics I have stolen, I sat and tried them all, 0 results found.

Your story is no different than mine, other than I was able to keep my real life friends in the dark. If you need to talk, my inbox is open. I've moved on in an honest way and had closure in the aforementioned relationship. I can help you come clean :)

Do you ever worry that the girl in the photos might find out and report you to the authorities?

This seems to be a phenomenon of the social media age. So many people do it. Unfortunately as you know it can only lead to heartache in the end. I am sorry there is no way out but through honesty. Hearts will be broken.

go ahead and meet him..explain nothing.. chances are, and a big chamce in both of your favor.. things will be that much more exciting :) I feel that you have done a great job in presenting the real you in spite of such trivial things such as age, beauty, and success.<br />
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The way you presented online is what drives you, determines what you can be, shows what you have inside..<br />
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Its all about charm and I would say you did a great job!!

im in the exact same situation its crazy

I am in the same situation and need someone to talk to :(

Message me then love :) I'm happy to say that it gets better.

just have a dare to show yr pics if the guy really loves the way u talk n yr nature he will surely accept u in the way u r but if the guy rejects u so it surely means that it was a crush on yr fake pics

I notice that none of the "pretenders" here seem to stop and look at these online relationships from the other side.<br />
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Several things to consider. First, building a relationship with a lie as its foundation will always be an untruthful relationship. How will, or how can the other person ever trust someone that developed a relationship through lies and manipulation?<br />
<br />
Secondly, in the online relationship world, sometimes those "pretenders" who pride themselves on manipulating others may indeed be getting manipulated themselves. Men you think you have fooled, may be smarter than you think and play along for the fantasy or the game of watching you cover your tracks.<br />
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Typically in a "pretenders" online relationship, lies are developed to cover exposed lies. One doesn't have to be a psychologist or a detective to notice slip ups and inconsistencies. Other more observative people will quickly recognize the patterns of pathological lying. Sometimes it is this fact that is intriguing enough to keep them around playing the game, albeit, the game is being played by both sides.<br />
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And just a heads up for those "pretenders" who use someone else's photos. The website TinEye is a reverse image search. Your online bf (or mark) simply loads the pic or the pic url and it searches for any instance of the photo online, usually exposing the real person somewhere.

If it's any consolation, no one is who they pretend to be. There are volumes of works about the careful creation and manipulation of personae. The only difference nowadays is the avatars are online instead of on the phone, in writing, in paintings, oral histories, etc.

The fact that you've avoided meeting him for years is really quite impressive. My online "bf" now can't even wait another month hardly. <br />
I know what it's like the obsession over this other girl, starting at her photos, looking in the mirror and almost being surprised to see your own REAL face. You want to be her so bad but can't. It's really rough. I recently came clean to my "bf..." if you want to hear about it or need someone to talk to holler at me.

Reading the stories of others is supporting but it also makes me realise how deep I've gotten myself. I wish I could just turn back and build the relationship as my true self.
Part of what I tell him is the truth, but so much, who the girl is, is a lie.
I have fallen for him and he has fallen for this girl I have created. I tried so hard to stay away, but my desire to speak to him is so much stronger than my will to leave.
How did you tell him and what were the circumstances?
I'm meant to be meeting this guy, I know I shouldn't, but the regret I feel if I don't is going to be more than if I do. I want to tell him, I do love him and I have no idea what to do.

I'd be happy to talk. Send me a message any time. *Hug*