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I'm A Female Pretending To Be A Man Online

OK, SO IVE NEVER TOLD ANYONE THIS BUT I JUST HAVE TO GET IT OUT................AT THE AGE OF ABOUT 13, MY PARENTS WERE SUPER STRICT AND ALL I DID WAS STAY AT HOME ALL DAY EVERY DAY. ONE DAY I PRETENDED TO BE A GUY ONLINE JUST FOR FUN, AND IT WAS EXCITING! I GOT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR A WHILE - IT WAS FUN TO BE FLIRTY  AND COOL ETC WITH GIRLS. I LOVED THE ATTENTION. AS TIME WENT BY, IT BECAME A FREQUENT THING. IT GOT SO BAD THAT FOR A FEW YEARS, I WAS THIS ONE GUY BUT MY "ONLINE FRIENDS" GOT OLD AND BORING, SO I MADE ANOTHER GUY WHO'S YOUNG, HOTTER, AND MORE EXCITING TO PRETEND TO BE. SO I KIND OF HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE BOTH SOMETIMES TO ABOUT 2 OR 3 PEOPLE EACH. I'VE HAD FAKE FACEBOOKS AND MYSPACES AND EVERYTHING PERTAINING TO THESE MADE UP INDIVIDUALS. ONE THING I DID NOT SEE COMING WAS AN ABSOLUTE OBSESSION! I'M NOT A LESBIAN BY ANY MEANS BUT I LOVE TALKING TO GIRLS AS THE COOL TOM CRUISE KIND OF GUY - THAT ALL THE GIRLS SEEM TO WANT! I WISH I COULD STOP THIS BEHAVIOR BECAUSE IT REALLY STRESSES ME OUT...ONLY THING THAT DOESNT LET ME ARE MY "ONLINE GIRLFRIENDS". I'VE HAD A FEW "ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS" WITH GIRLS FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME AND A PART OF ME HAS REALLY FALLEN FOR THEM AS WELL...AS WEIRD AS THAT MAY BE. ITS ALMOST LIKE WHEN I TALK TO THEM - I AM WHO I PRETEND TO BE AND THAT PERSON LOVES THEM. THEY ASK TO SEE ME OR PHONE CALLS ALLLLLLLL THE TIME, BUT I OBVIOUSLY CANT DELIVER NOT EVEN A PHONE CALL! A FEW OF THEM HAVE GOTTEN SUSPICIOUS BUT NO ONE HAS EVER REALLY CAUGHT ON. SOMETIMES I WISH I WAS THE PERSON I PRETEND TO BE SO BAD BECAUSE WHEN ALL ELSE IN MY LIFE SUCKS, THESE "GIRLFRIENDS" MAKE ME SO HAPPY. I NEED HELP. =(

ivelostmyway ivelostmyway 18-21, F 119 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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Hi, I honestly thought I was the only one. And I did it by accident. I started playing this online geeky war game when I was in hospital. Everyone just presumed I was a guy and then, once I became the leader of a team, I couldn't say as I was seen as this strong guy. That's was fine though as it was only a game or so I thought. Then I met this woman. We started one night on group chat and she messaged me and told me something personal. I felt I needed to tell her something personal back. So I did. However, this quickly escalated. We talked all the time. She made me laugh and we got on so well. Ofc, she then asks me about my wildest fantasy. I panic but - thinking as a guy - I make one up. She loves it and send me something even more erotic back. So I panic even more. And I try to pull back. It's only been 3 days but she says that she can't just be my friend. And I stupidly give in. But I don't share any more fantasy for a while (in total there were two). I could easily avoid talking about that stuff. So we were really just best friends then we had a fight. A big fight. And before I realised it, I had told her I loved her. I couldn't remove the message so just waited for her response. When she got back on, I asked if she could forget it but she said that she couldn't. That she felt similar. It was another two weeks before she said the words but I was over the moon. So happy. By now I started to fantasise I was him and my life with her. I was screwed. But I wasn't thinking of the consequences. She thought we were soul mates. And I would and have done everything for her. When she was broke, I lent her money. When her family fell apart, I was there for her. There were lots of ups and downs. But we were happy. And she wanted to meet me after just 3 months. She got angry when I was resistant so I said I had booked tickets. Ofc, now we had an end point. I thought about just writing her a confession and selling my phone. She needed to hear the truth. But after two lack lustre ex husbands and being a badly treated other woman, I didn't want her to drop her standards again. I had given her confidence to bloom into the beautiful woman I knew she was. Everyone noticed how happy she was. She has the most heart melting smile. She is funny and smart. And she has a big heart. But low self esteem. So I thought (very stupid) that killing him off was a better solution. That way she would stop seeing guys who took for granted and have the standards to get the guy she deserves. Well, that was the most stupid mistake ever. I came on as a family member to check she was ok and she was distraught. Didn't have anything to live for and was thinking of killing herself. So I tried to fix it (well, once you are in a hole keep digging). I have slowly managed to get her back on track. The plan worked in essence. She misses him terribly but now thinks she maybe can move on for the right guy a year and half later. There is only one rub, I'm now her best friend. She is dependant on me. This not only hurts me (although I really do deserve it) but it means I need to keep lying to her. Square one plus almost two years. And, if I leave her, I'm worried about how she will cope. Im all she has in this world.

AAAAAH! CAPS! AAAAAAAAAAH!

Someone please email me: payraych@gmail.com

I've been doing this for 10 years of my life pretending to be a boy when I'm actually a girl and straight. I've had several relationships, faked as 3 different boys but the last one really got me into such a whirlwind of devastation when I got caught into a serious relationship that has lasted 5 years and 8 months and ongoing. It tears me up, I've lied to her about so much but not once about how I feel for her. I feel sick that I've fallen for a girl as I indulge my entire mentality into that boy I created. She doesn't suspect me because I have pictures and the real boy is a tool for me. Whenever she wants a picture I ask him to send one to the real me. He's goodlooking but a cheater and a deceiver. Most boys are. I'm not ugly by any means and have many guys coming up to me, hitting one me and trying to sleep with me. This I find so morally wrong that it has thrown me into a pessimistic cynical state of never being able to trust men which is why I created this perfect individual who is so flawed in every way that I personally am. My personality is that of his.

I can fake a boy voice so well especially through years of practice and by naturally having an alto voice.
It has gotten so bad that I would get on webcam with the real guy just to record his video clip and then use it to get on webcam with the girl I love. She has suspected me on several occasions but every time I banked on the fact that she trusts me.

I'm not a bad person arguably of course I am bad in that I have done this to another human being yet I am not bad in any other fashion in my life. I have helped her through so much emotionally, mentally and even physically by sending her money for rent, supporting her through university, helping her get a job, helping her family when they needed financial help desperately.

I lied about my family about my mother who I said was dead who as my own self both parents are still alive. In reality I have a brother who did molest me when I was a teenager however I believe it was a lapse of judgment and never will happen again albeit I believe it isn't the right thing to do nor is it justifiable. She thinks that I (him) has a sister who died because she tore me and broke my heart and outcasted me for no reason as she was going through a rough patch in her life and I felt so hurt I made up the death of another to gain sympathy just as I have made up several different situations of me (him) ending up in hospital.

I have had phone sex with her, webcam sex with her (using that guys video clips of explicit motion) and I have pressured her for these things in the past as I led myself to believe that my alter ego really existed and that I could not (and neither could she) afford to lose him as part of her life.

As I created my own world of this alter ego I stopped socialising with people, drifted away from friends and this all came very easy as I moved out of the country away from my family for studies over a 5 year period so I always lived alone. Now I have no friends no confidence and no idea on how to start back again.

I've completely ****** this one up as I care about her so much she's confided in me things such as her being raped which made me not want to leave in the initial point of our relationship. I've tried to break it off on several occasions feeling like I'm killing myself and killing her in the time being by giving her false hope however her life seems so dramatic as her sister always ends up in hospital for being suicidal, her family always took advantage of her and she always needed someone to be there for her whether it was to bail her out financially or to support her emotionally.

I have met her as a friend of his (the real me) and was completely devastated as she felt that he (me) had left her to the hands of some stranger as she travelled across the Atlantic to meet him. I cried everyday she was there with me over two weeks always wanting to tell her but never being able to bring myself to doing it. I felt that she needed me and even now I feel that she needs me or at least she needs the person I have created. She used to threaten to kill herself if I left her so I never did. Now she doesn't but she's an emotional wreck. She will not ever be with me as who I am because she is strictly straight, and by knowing her I know she isn't into the kind of person I am - a petite Chinese girl who faked being a white British boy. And I wouldn't blame her but to think that I would risk everything that I am is devastating.

I want to visit her as me again (his friend) to confess to her and come clean and yes I am absolutely petrified. I lie to my parents about why they should let me go alone as I currently live on the opposite side of the world from her. They have no idea what's going on as I lie about being in love with some guy they just started hearing about. I want to come clean to her and express how I feel for her. She will not forgive me but inside I wish she does so badly. It kills me to think that this was all pretend and that it never will and never can be the truth.

She said she has fallen in love with the person that I am and the truth is the person that I am truly is me personality and character but more important my love for her. I am risking everything I have and everything that I am to confess to her as I could lose my future career, my family, my life but she has to know.. She just has to..

I really need help and I need advice please tell me if I should confess. She hasn't been the best to me at times voluntarily hurting me, ignoring me, getting drunk and arrested. But I feel that she is an amazing person and I don't know how I would cope. I'm straight she's straight. I fooled myself into separating my emotions as a girl and a guy that I fell in love with her as a guy but seeing as that guy is me I myself feel for her uncontrollably. I can't eat I can't sleep and I've been crying for over a year now for almost every day. I get so jealous and envious of those around her because I know I can never be them to her and I can never be the person she wants me to be. It goes to the point where I fear her ending up with another man and moving on with her life together with him. God I know it's selfish but I can't help how much I love her it makes me want to kill myself and I will if she doesn't accept me for who I am. That's how much I would sacrifice because yes I know it is wrong for me to have lied and deceive for so long I know people would classify me as inhumane and I don't blame you at all.

Please just help me make this decision of whether or not to confess to her knowing it will kill her entirely as she fell in love with this guy so crazily beyond comprehension for a dedicated period of 5 years and 8 months. She was there when my grandmother died, my grandaunts died, my dog died, when I was being stalked (in real life but I twisted the story so she believed it was the guy part of me being stalked), and everything else imagine able as have I been there for her when she was kicked out of her home by her mother, her grandmother, I helped her move out, be strong over her distant father who doesn't give a **** about her, her suicidal sister, her financial problems, her emotional and mental problems, her school work, her work life, everything...

Please help me make the right choice whether it is the right thing to do.. To come clean... And why you think so..

Hi dear, i know that you did not mean to harm anybody and just got carried away.... Well, you are in love... You should come clean to her, that way, AT LEAST you would have a chance to be with her.... If you don't you could NEVER have that chance... If she loves you so much, she might, just might accept you... This comes from a girl who once thought (or wanted) to be straight... But the love of my life is a girl.

Somebody please msg me. I need help. I need to hear from people in the same situation. I am a female pretending to be a male on a game. I thought I was the only one doing this up until now. I'm heartbroken over it and so ashamed. I broke it off with my "gf" today, but I am so sad because I broke her heart. I truly do love her. Developed real feelings for her. She is so precious, but I just don't want to give her false hope. It's sooooo wrong. I just don't understand why I am doing it. Why is it so addicting? Why can't I just be me? Everything was true but my gender. ughhhhh

I don't mean to hurt people, I didn't even mean to carry on this way, but after I tried it so I could play games without guys hating me, I sort of became addicted and created male profiles on practically everything

You guys are totally unfair in thinking this is okay and carrying these relationships on. I met a "guy" 3 years ago. He was the perfect man. Charming, good looking and attentive. We were firstly friends. I got pregnant by my then boyfriend who then dumped me and left me pregnant. This "guy" I'd met asked if he could step up and look after us and if I'd give him a try and be his girlfriend. I didn't have anything to lose so I went with it. After two years of me sticking by him with his troubles. Also enduring the endless excuses of him not turning up on meet days because of his tourettes or ocd, I had enough. My son adored him as did I. Something always felt not right. His first excuse after arguments of me saying he wasn't who I said he was, was that he was married. It hurt but I asked him to choose us and he apparently did but didn't turn up again. Eventually after being so depressed and down over it I had a huge argument which in turn had this person tell me they were a girl. I am in bits. I have a child who wants to speak to this person on the phone. I have no confidence and I'm seriously depressed. Please don't do this to people. It's someone's life and someone's emotions you are toying with. I thought I had a family and now I don't.

You guys are really odd. Here you have so many guys out there who are dying to give girls attention, especially in online games. Gamer girls are like idols to the male masses who play these games. And yet you fake being the male gender. Not only this but the secrecy and lies tear you apart. I am a guy, and I believe I'm qualified to know how guys generally react to girls online. Whenever I create a female character online - just because I enjoy looking at a female 24/7 instead of a hairy, old man - I don't even have to do anything to get the men hitting on me. And that's a real pain for someone who's a guy and one of the straightest arrows in the quiver. In a way my own straightness has gotten me into the situation I found myself in before I came to this site. Women online are a luxury. And men online are a dime a dozen. We don't need women acting like men, too. The balance is already tipped. It'd just be a pain to tip it any more. You're valuable more than you know. So you should drop this act and be who you were born to be. I think you would find you'd still get more attention than you want.

But when I was playing on the computer with guys in my school who knew I was female, after I beat them, they locked me out of the computer room and said they hated me :(

everyone im now doin what you were doin. or may still be. im ftm transgender and i didnt make an acount to be a real boy or anything like that, i made a fan page and i saw the most beautiful girl ive seriously ever seen, so i deiced to ask for her kik and she gave me it and we talked for the longest time and we both started havin really deep feelings for eachother, so we dated. she broke up with me after a while and that was that. we do skype and stuff like that because i try to pass as a boy so she doesnt really notice anything ever. now/today im madly inlove with her we have this connection i dont think i can ever have with any one else. but its not right i cant lie to her about me bein biologically a girl im so scared shes gonna do something to her self, i deserve anything she does or says to me i put it to far i just thought i should say that and it feels good that i am gonna tell her im just scared for her

and i ment i cant lie to her a about a male when im not biologically

You wouldn't be lying, my dear. But you will need to inform her at some point. If you'd like, I can direct you to some transgender pamphlets and sites that might be helpful.

I've been doing the same thing for almost 4 years up until now!

I won't tell how it started but I fake profiles and identities all the time. I've had a lot of friends all over the internet and got really close to them. It's just that, I can easily open up to them unlike the people I met in real life, I can express myself online not being awkward and can even have great conversations. It's not like I'm shy in real but I just find it more comfortable attempting to be someone, someone I attain to be.

I've been doing the same thing since I was 9. But it's always been the same person I've pretended to be. And I am a female pretending to be a gay male online. I met this one "guy" online and I really fell for him hard. Turns out he was a she, at first I was furious at her for breaking my fake world.. but I continued to talk to her as 'him'. I've never wanted to come clean and now she's figured me out... the only way I can think to get rid of this obsession is for her to know the truth.. but it is too painful. I just want to know why I want to be this guy so bad... sometimes I feel crazy. I just want to love who I really am.

I've been doing this for years.I'm not a lesbian either,but I had feelings for every single girl I've ever talked to.This time though things got worse.I've been talking to this girl for like a couple months and I really really like her.Well the thing is,she's in love with me.I can't keep pretending like this,it really makes me feel just so bad but I can't leave her either.She's always like begging me not to leave her.The poor girl is actually depressed and she always says I'm the only one who can make her feel better and that she doesn't know what she'd do without me.She even told me she'd kill herself if I ever stopped talking to her.We both live in the same country so she said she's going to come to visit someday so I really just can't pretend anymore.I don't know how to put an end to this without hurting her.

Okay okay. To answer your first problem: Sexuality, Gender, and a whole heap of other things aren't a set strict rule in a person. Instead of thinking about it as being 'gay' or 'straight', think of it on a slider bar. You're not a lesbian, but you can be attracted to girls, because your sexuality is on a sliderbar, not a ledger. Heck, even day to day, the slider bar shifts. You're not attracted to every guy you meet in the world, that doesn't make you a lesbian. So it's the same the other way around.

Secondly. That girl is most definitely manipulating you. Whether she knows she's doing it or not. Threatening to kill herself if you leave her is a manipulation tactic. So is a lot of the rest of it: like telling you that you're the only one that cares about her. This can lead to an emotionally abusive relationship. These are really big signs that she will becoming, and is already being emotionally abusive. Just because she believes you're a guy doesn't mean that you deserve emotional abuse.

In conclusion: I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship before. Looking back, I can see the signs, and I wish I had have listened to them and gotten out of it straight away. But I felt like I deserved it because I let her down a long time ago. I didn't deserve it, though. There's no point in arbitrary punishment. Don't set yourself up to have that happen to you.

There is no way not to hurt the emotionally abusive one in the relationship. The only thing you can do is promise yourself you won't go down with her. Promise yourself. because she will drag you down with her. Let's do some cold maths. If someone's being self destructive would you rather they only took themself out, or another person as well? You're that other person. If it's too hard to tell her you're leaving because she'll manipulate you by chucking a fit and going off to kill herself, leave quietly. If you think you can do it without letting her manipulate you, tell her exactly why you're leaving, that you won't be manipulated, and if she does say she's going to die, call the ambulance. I repeat, call the ambulance, wash your hands of it, and cut ties. Right. Now. Don't look back. Don't be this woman's pillar of salt. It may be really hard, and it may be sad. She may be very sick and pitiable. But those people are like natural disasters. You can't stop a tornado by loving at it and having a relationship. You need to get out of the way. One day maybe, she might be able to exist without using fear tactics to trap you, maybe she won't. If she's suicidal and so invested in you, she's not ready for a relationship anyway.

You have a chance to be the bigger person. Heck, you've even got an easy out on your bad decision to pretend to be a guy.

Take it. The rest of these guys here don't have that chance. They're gonna have to do it the hard way.

Please read this. Please.

Thank you.You just made my day.

Also,she's not really threating to kill herself if I stop talking to her,she said I'm the only reason for her to stay alive and that without me she'd have nothing else to live for.However,that still makes me feel bad and I'm pretty sure it would make me feel guilty if she killed herself,no matter the reason.

I'm also kind of depressed so we're helping each other,or something like that.She's really nice and she always worries about me,which kind of made me get a bit too attached to her.I think.I don't really know how to explain this thing that me and her have,it's quite complicated.

*hugs* Aw, I'm glad I helped somewhat. All relationships are complicated. But it still sounds like you've both got problems that you can figure out. I think you still need to do something about the fact that she thinks you've got different anatomy, though. It might be good to lay all your thoughts out in a letter to yourself, and start out speaking to yourself how you would her. Make sure you do it in increments, so it's not a lot of devastating pressure at the get go. Look up Transgender, not because you are one, I don't know if you are, but it has a lot of information on how to tell someone you're still the same person, but your privates are shaped a little differently than they think. Hopefully this will help. You can do this. Make sure you're up on the uptake, though, so you can answer any questions she has easily.

I'm pretty sure telling her will help the relationship forward, whereas right now, it'll stagnate. Because she won't ever be able to see you. And I know deep down in your subconscious, that possibly sounds really safe to you, and in case that is what you're feeling, I have to tell you, that is a most dangerous feeling. It can make people do very hurtful things.

I see a lot of people talking about "not being a lesbian". Why are you all putting labels on yourselves? Just because you like this girl doesn't mean your gay. You should tell her the truth, and yes it is going to be hard. If she honestly cares about you (like she says she does) and you care about her, things could possibly work out. Just a little advice, I believe its possible to fall in love with anyone, gender has nothing to do with love.

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I've been doing this for a long long time now.
I have so many online identities that are boys, and it's getting harder and harder to keep up with them.

I've made the greatest friend ever as a guy, and I really liked him... Like, like-liked him... So I had to make a girl identity just to ask him out, I was so happy when he said yes.

Now I feel sick to my stomach thinking about telling him the truth... We've just been friends for so long and I don't know what I'd do if he hated me...

I wish I was one of those people who can tell the truth and get over it, but I'm not.
I've lost friends because of this, I've even accidentally posted something on another chat window that I as a boy would say, my friend had nothing to say and I had to think up an excuse quick.

I don't regret pretending to be a guy, cause I met my best friend. I only regret not telling him sooner who I really was.... And now there's no way I can tell him. He'll think of me as some freak.

Hey, sweety. I'm sorry to tell you this, but the pain you're feeling won't stop until you stop this. You need to figure out how to stop it, and stop it. Would you like horrible pain for the rest of your life, or just a moment of agony and then it's over? If you can't get over it afterwards, it won't be as much pain as what's happening now. It's like a shot, or a bandaid. It hurts, but it needs to be done.

I have been doing the same thing since i was 9. I quit and deleted all my profiles when I was 15, because my online friends were fed up with me being always vague about calling and skyping.

So when I was 17, I got extremely busy with school and piano practice. I was so busy, that I had lost a big amount of friends and I started to prank people from an online chatsite. My profile was a guy, because i thought it would be easier to be a random pranking guy than a weirdo girl pranking on people.

But then I met this amazing girl, and we felt so connected from the start. We've been in a "relationship" for 9 months now. And I really feel like i need to come clean or stop this, even though it will kill both of us. I am not lesbian, but I did fall in love with this girl.

I am so extremely embarrassed to come clean to her, and I don't know if i am able to. I am so afraid that I will hurt her so much. She's extremely sensitive and someone else did this to her before.

I know it is really stupid and dumb of me, but it was just a joke and it lead to something really big :( It felt really awkward saying immediately "yeah so hey im not actually a guy, bye" I just thought we would talk less eventually like I do with most people.

I know exactly how you feel :( The connection is soooo powerful.

I was doing the exact same thing, and it all started in 2010 and lasted until today. I'm 12 right now and I still use guys sometimes on this virtual world called Habbo Hotel.



My first account was a girl and I got used to using her for a good 3 months or so. But one day I decided it would be funny to pretend to be a guy and trick girls into thinking I was actually a guy. Unfortunately, it got out of hand until I realized how fun it was to be the perfect, funny guy that all the girls loved. Ever since I was 5, I thought that I was a lesbian because I wanted to be a boy and have girlfriends. My mom used to be like that, so I know it's genetic, but she's now married to my dad and has 3 kids. The online thing though, started to get out of control each day when I actually got into romantic relationships with girls. I cannot tell you how many fake accounts I made. I just loved being the perfect guy. At one point, one of my 'girlfriends' asked if we could webcam and I kept making up excuses and she seemed suspicious. I've broken up a lot of time with my 'girlfriends' because I feel guilty and think that this is all wrong.



A few months ago, I thought of the perfect idea. I found a British social website called snog.com and made a fake account there. Some of the girls found out I was stealing pictures, but most of them believed me. I also made a Kik Messaging account and made more and more each day.



Then my brother caught me doing this and told my mom and she yelled at me like you cannot believe. I felt terrible for being so creepy and being a liar, so I stopped with the snog.com thing. I still continued using Kik Messenger and Habbo Hotel though. To this day, I still pretend to be somebody else I'm not. I read some of the stories on here and just fell down to my knees crying. I just feel so ashamed about all this.

Okay, sweetie, take a deep breath. You need to go and tell somebody you're doing this. You should not have been allowed to make accounts when you were 5 in any case. If you don't feel like you can tell your mum, go and tell a school councilor, or somebody. Because you're 12, and you don't know who you are yet. You're just making some bad descisions, darling. But it needs to stop now. It should have stopped when your mum found out. Because it's not about you lying and being creepy, it's about you hurting others.

If you are only pretending to be a boy online, but are not in anything romantic, that means it hasn't gone far. That's not so bad. It may be you're experimenting, or transgender.

If it has gone further, at all, it needs to stop right now. Because that's not being a creepy liar, that's hurting someone else. Take the shame you're feeling, and imagine that is how someone else will feel when you do this thing.

That's what makes pretending to be someone you're not online bad. The hurting other people.

So go get some help, sweety, please? I know you're really brave, and I know you can do this. Heck, you were good enough to be a boy online, you're clever enough to do this. All the best.

I too did the same thing.. I feel really bad about it, again it started when I was young and I couldn't stop. The girl I was 'with' left the site and we had to text and email.. And she ended it a while back well just disappeared and I miss speaking to her.. I don't know what to do

I'm having the same problem now, but not with romantic relationships. I just have really close friends who write stories on a website like I do, and I love talking to them but I can't reveal anything to them. I feel like I've given them a few hints about the truth, but they haven't confronted me about it or anything. I tried my best to avoid lying about any part of my identity besides my gender, but that's been difficult as people start to want to know more about you, what you look like, etc. I tried to be as anonymous as possible in order to accomplish this. However, two of my older online friends found out the truth...only, it was rather early on and they weren't angry about it or anything. I explained things to them, and they promised to keep my identity a secret. They didn't even urge me to tell the truth!

Thing is I want to get out of this and while I regret lying to them and feeling this guilt, I had so much fun being a guy and being as unrestrained as I wanted. As a girl, I wouldn't be as comfortable using my real identity to joke around with strangers the way I want to. I became almost more like myself when i created this cool, funny male alter ego.

Also, when I began this, part of the reason was so I could detach my writer's identity from my real identity, and changing my gender was a good way to do that.

I want to tell my friends the truth before things get any bigger and people get hurt, but I don't want to ruin what I have now. I don't want to be rejected and hated, and surprisingly, I don't want to lose this part of myself that's almost as important to me as my real self. This has been going on since May, and I'm fourteen.

Thanks for sharing your stories, everyone. It helps to know there're people out there with the same problem.

That must feel awful, I know Heaven2.I had a crush on someone for years that ended up being a female, but she eventually told me later and honestly I'm fine with it. I met her on a game and she is still the same person to me. But then again i'm attracted to both genders so I see no difference.I even pretended to be a male online, (through a game) but i've never ever tried to be romantic with anyone. People would flirt with me and stuff, but i'm a bit of a douche and a smartass so I come off as a guy easily online. I usually play male characters too. Sometimes I wish I could be that person because I kind of envy males for their strength and power because I am an ectomorph body type female.. what more can I say ugh. But online in a game I can be this really strong guy and beat up people :D

I am on the other end of the spectrum. I was the one being catfished. I dated a guy online for two years and we fell deeply in love. And one day I stumbled upon some things that suggested he wasn't who he said he was. He was stilling photos from someone else. So when I further investigated, I decided to confront him about it. I asked him via AIM and he signed off without responding and deleted me from his profile and all his friends, so that means he must have been controlling these 'friends' profiles... It's been 4 years since he walked out of my life. I still have zero explanation of what happened and who I was really talking too. There's not a day that goes by where I don't wonder. All I want is some closure. So if you have ever lied about your identity to someone online whom you cared about. Go confess, it's more heart breaking for me that I will never know this person I was so in love with.

I have done this for years. Am I nuts?

I've done it for several years too, and I don't know if I'm nuts either...

...I have been doing the exact same thing for a very long time, it started when I was 14 or 15. I still do it, after so many years, it's as if I just couldn't stop. As some have said it's an "obsession" an obsession, which I just don't seem to be able to stop. It's starting to kill me... It just hurts so badly to have to pretend to be someone that I'm not... I just wish that I could talk to someone that either, is going through the same thing as I am or that did it some time ago & was able to get past it. It just hurts so much... :(

I know how you feel, 5 months ago, I was pretending to be this absolute perfect funny guy online which all the girls loved. I even made guy friends and basically became one of them. So I know how hard it is to just STOP. I was in a relationship with a girl too, and we were like..perfect. But I finally came to my senses when I stumbled in this little thread or whatever, people sharing their stories and how their online friends found out the truth, then ended miserably. I didn't want the same fate for me. So, I had to face reality. I was giving the girl I was with false hope, and stopping her from finding true love. And also lying to my online friends. Lying, its so stressful, its constantly in the back of your mind . It EATS you. Making fake accounts, getting fake pictures. Too much.

What you should do, is leave, just leave. What I did was sent them all a quick goodbye message, and left. I sent my "girlfriend" that too. Trust me, its hard. The
First week, you're gonna be tempted anc your heart will feel like its dying. You will probably cry the first couple of nights. Get through it. Don't ever visit that website that brings back those memories, and go to another one, AS A GIRL. I can't do anything for you, only tell you this. The rest is up to you. Stop before you hurt your friends and yourself. Be strong buddy.

I also pretended to be this amazingly awesome, funny, nice guy that all the girls loved, having also guy friends and yeah... It's as if I was just one of the guys. I don't exactly know how I'll ever be able to stop... The worst part is that I have been doing it for so freaking long, that it's as if it was a part of my daily life. I have been in several "online relationships" ones I actually thought they were perfect as well, others... I didn't. I'm sure that I have hurt tons of people, but I don't think I'm a bad person, I mean... I've been hurt too, I'm human after all. Nobody has ever found out the truth about me, just a couple might have suspected things, but they ended up believing me... I gave quite a few people false hope and to be honest with some people that I dated while being that oh-so perfect guy, I somehow wished I could be a real guy and even meet them, but that won't ever happen, that's what hurts me at times. Yes, it's extremely stressful and depressing... It's way too much, I don't even know how to get out of this mess!
I have left people that I dated and I still think of some of them... Most of them, I don't have feelings for them anymore, but like... The last girl that I dated, I left that site about... Since August? and I still think about her, even though it was terrible.. but still. It's been 4 months? and I am still tempted to go back, I even said good-bye and everything, I didn't tell my friends there the truth, I just said bye & that I was quitting... I still feel as if my heart was dying... I don't seem to be able to go at sites as a girl because I'm so used to pretending to be a guy, I just don't see myself doing it... This is the ONLY site that I actually haven't lied about myself. I have hurt people already and mostly myself. I don't know how to stop...

You can talk to me.. I'm hurting everyday

I started pretending when I was 19 & I'm 30 now. I confessed to my 1st online gf & felt just as long as I didn't havev anymore girlfriends I would be fine, Boy was I WRONG!!!! I am a big female & always enjoyed the attention but always had an excuses to why I couldn't be involved even making up that I got married, but this did not stop this one person. Behave been friends since she was 16 & she has been in full pursuit from day 1. I always hoped her having a bf & now being engaged would change things but she tells me all the time if I say the word she will give the ring bk. I let my guard down with her 2 yrs ago when my mom died & she was there. I encourage her to get married b/c I am married. I have tried several times to break up with her but she is unable 2 function & has threatened to hurt herself. I have thought of telling her but fear this will destroy her life so considered telling her me& wife want to grow & she needs to focus on her fiancee. She has always wanted to get married been engaged since January 2012 , but haven't madevany plans because she is not happy. I have wished so hard I could be the person she has fallen in love with & starting to hate myself daily for lying to her & making her fall in love with a horrible person like me. I do love her hence y I know I have to let her know. She is not bi & would never let her have to chose that path b/c that is not an easy road either. I feel if I tell her truth I will destoy her & if I break up with her she will never love her husband as she should b/c she will always wonder about us. I mean she is only getting married b/c I said I can't & she is banking on me to get divorce soon & she will leave her husband it's like she is my puppet & so crazy b/c she is so strong & nothing like this with & I try to encourage her not to be this way with me. I'm not sure what to do but I feel that I will end this soon, besides I can bare the fact of her being with her fiancee makes me soooooooo angry I won't even let her sleep with him yes that's my selfishness coming out. I'm such a horrible person @ times I try to imagine my life without her & I become so depressed but it's my fault so I have to suffer what is to come, I just pray God give me strength. Oh yeah I've been praying a lot this when I really started to want to change and I know He is the only one that can help me thru. This will be my 2nd & last no way I can put myself let alone someone else thru this.

You are a really horrible person. =o

i know how you feel. i do the same thing. it makes me feel so guilty and stressed out. i have been talking to this girl online, i never told her my gender but i think she thought i was a guy from the start, by the things she said. so when she asked if i was a guy i said yes. i haven't lied to her about myself. just that i'm a guy when in fact i'm a girl. i really like her and i flirt all the time. i think i'm confused, because i don't know weather i like girls or guys but i like the attention. i think i like them both but i'm not sure. i feel so bad. i get so angry at myself sometimes that i just cry but i cant tell anyone. i get depressed and sometimes i cant keep up with my normal life because i keep thinking about her. do you think i need help or something? i just don't know what to do. :(

Omg I'm the same exact way I thought I was the only one!!

i can relate to you all.i tried before justifying my actions but in the end it is still wrong . any one here wants to have a therapy group online?im just here i want to talk to you all ^^.

i feel the same way and i have done that too so hard to overcome but you really have to try to change the way you think and do things to be busy

This is crazy to see how many people are going through the same thing as me, it's not that we try to harm anyone it jut happens you start to believe our own lies and dot realize it intill it's to late for both you and the person your lying to. When you talk to them you take on the character and believe it. I want to stop but it's hard.

My friends, I relate to this somewhat, although I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend online. That's wrong and needs to stop. However, I am transgender, and for a long time I was lying to myself.



It always started off as a relationship where I didn't disclose my gender. But then the question would always come up. I would put it off for a as long as possible, make a joke out of it. But finally it would come up. Every. Single. Time. I would tell myself no, this time I'm going to say what my birth gender is. I managed to do it only once, and it lead to the eventual demise of the friendship. So every time after that I would end up blurting the other, the gender I want to be. I would feel so much relief, and felt I could be myself.



Think about the characters you've made up, and then think about performing them in your real life. That's how I felt.



But then, slowly, my online persona would become a character in and of itself. I would do weird things to maintain it, although not much *taps noggin'* I'm not afraid to say I'm a bit savvy like that. I would feel utterly guilty and horrible, even though I wasn't romancing these people and they were my best friends. Are my best friends.



I would feel utterly terrible watching this person that would unfold out of me and realising I could never, ever be that.



But I never romanced them. Never. It would have been wrong of me.



A perona online is different than breaking someone's heart. I feel for you, honestly, I do, but this aspect needs to stop. I know you must feel so ashamed, and I'm here for you, I truly am.



But please, you need to go and find someone safe where you can get help.



If you have feelings of transgenderism also, I can help further. But the romancing needs to stop. It shouldn't have a place online anyway.



Just as you'd go to a doctor if your leg fell off, you do something with addictive behaviour. And your behaviour is addictive. And addictions, no matter what they are, are bad for you. And in this case, bad for whoever it is you're breaking. You need to do this. For yourself as much as the friends that love you. Go please. You'll feel so much better.

Yes, you do need help indeed. You ******* ****. A person like you ruined my life. It went on for years and I'm not too proud to say it but I was a child when we met. Get your **** together or it will eventually come back and bite you in the ***. It's not fair for these people to waste their time being fooled because of your ******* issues as a human being. Deal with them as yourself.

I can relate to everyone all too much. Someone please message me, I've /never/ spoken of this before to anyone whatsoever, and frankly it's 4am and sitting here and pouring my heart out tonight in the form of a story is not my intent. But I think I seriously need some help, this has been going on for too long.

been*

hello im here if you want to talk i also had done this things

Wow I really genuinely feels sorry for you in a way, because we all do things that we don't realize can get very intense. On the other hand I feel so bad for the people you have lied to, who have become attached to these fake personas you created. Yeah a part of me feels angry towards what you have done, but we all do bad things. The good news is you can make the choice to change it all. I hope that if you have not already that you find the strength to confess to the people you have impacted.