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I'm A Female Pretending To Be A Man Online


ivelostmyway ivelostmyway 18-21, F 138 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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Same with me .. I need help ! I cant stay like this .. is there anyone who can help me ? Please help!

If you want you can talk to me...i have been trough the same

It has nearly been a year since I told my ex girlfriend the truth. I've been doing very well since then, but today I did something that triggered a negative emotional response. I was watching one of her favourite movies (Tangled) and after watching it, I decided to check all of her accounts on social networking websites, just to see how she has been doing lately. A lot of her accounts seemed to have vanished and she was fairly inactive on the accounts that still existed.

I immediately began to panic. My mind jumped to the worst possible conclusion. I began to think that she was dead or she had taken her own life. My ex had depressive spells in the past but when we ended our friendship, she was in a good head space. Now, I'm afraid that something bad has happened. I really want to make another account and add her on all of those websites. I want to be there for her. I want to cheer her up when she feels down. The thing is, our friendship ended on a good note. The only reason she replied to me for the last time is that I sent her a message wishing her the best of luck and to tell her that I won't be around any longer. I'm conflicted. I want to become part of her life again but at the same time, I don't want to tarnish the good note we left off on and the significance of our last conversation.

Sorry if this post is incoherent. I'm anxious and my mind is running a mile a minute

I am in the same aituation. 5 years ago I started this huge lie and told people at work that i was dying. I am a lesbian and there was this girl at work that i had a crush on and loved her attention because she thought i was sick. She was married to a man so i knew she was out of reach. To get closer to her i pretended I had a brother and started texting her as my brother who then told her that i was dead. So everyone at work thought I was dead. From there i started to talk to the girl as my brother and kept lying for the next 5 and we fell in love, well she fell in love with my brother. Whenever she asked to see a photo i would send one of my real brother and she was satisfied. When she started to ask if we could talk on the phone i told her that i was mute and she believed it. We texted every day for 5 years and we became 'boyfriend and gigirlfriend. She broke things off because she was marriwd and said she felt bad for cheating on her husband. Anyway for the entire time she thought i was dead when in actuallity it was me she takked to and not my brother. Now the guilt is killing me. We have not spoken in over a year and i miss her. Im now thinking of another lie so i can talk to her again. I am 40 now. Too old to be doing this *hit

Wow...there's something so strangely consoling about so many others in the same boat as me. I just need to spill it. I've never told anyone anout this and I need to just spill it I guess. Mine is an insanely odd and complicated story.
When I was 14 (I'm 22 now) my friends and I made this fake account to find out if my friend's boyfriend was cheating on her. So we made up this guy profile and all three of us used it. (I'm a woman by the by) We got to the bottom of it and then the account was just kind of inactive. Well I logged into it and saw all of these messages and out of boredom I guess I replied. I got caught up in conversations and I ended up making a separate account with the same name and such and I would message these people I had started to become friends with. Now here's where it gets INSANE. i formed all kinds of friendships and all that but really only got close to one guy (still as a girl). Long story short I end up deleting this account and strictly talking in messenger with this person. Now if you can believe it about a year into things this guy actually confesses to me that he is in fact a she. faking a profile. She confessed her love to 'me' and how sorry she was and how much she loves me and such and I have no idea why but...I still didn't confess. I told her I understood and loved her for her and she was in so much pain. The thing I'm actually convinced that she's still lying about who she is. We ended up talking every day and I do love the girl. I over time have actually come to realize I AM a lesbian but that still doesn't change what's going on. The girl herself is actually a bisexual but it's just like this huge cluster **** of a situation. I can't help but think she struggles with exactly what I do because we both kinda fade out of each others' lives then always come back. Well two years ago I just dropped it, ended it. I don't know what compelled me to do it but I logged back into the account just to see when she gave up on me...and she NEVER DID. She thinks we're soul mates. She sends me messages knowing I won't reply. It's almost like a journal. I haven't used a fake account for over two years for anything and I didn't reply to what I just read...but I do always think about HER. I continue to leave her alone? Do I delete the account in its entirety? Do I tell her the truth? Also keep in mind I know this girl lies about herself, even now. It's like...we both have insecurities but when we're actually talking it's not a lie at all. It's pure. But the circumstances that brought us there aren't. It's just so complicated. I guess I just want to know if I should reply to her. Set her free? I have this odd feeling she'd still love me, as I am. But at the same time the image she originally had of me would be shattered. Do I let her keep that image or do I give her a painful reality? It keeps me up at night. I'm honestly afraid she'd self harm or worse if I were to confess. Do I just leave her alone and hope she'll move on? I do genuinely love her. I know I don't care about the lies she's told and I'd still accept her but I can't confidently say she'd do the same. I love her enough to set her free, but I don't think she's strong enough to let me go. I mean TWO YEARS. And the girl still sends messages to someone who won't answer. What do I do? And does it mean anything that I still think about her?

You, LORD, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,
Psalm 34:18New Living Translation (NLT)

18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

I've been pretending like this for years now. On a lot of accounts I will post pictures where I look male (like with short hair and baggy clothes), and people just assume my gender and I don't correct them. I like being "him" because he's basically me, all my same likes and dislikes and personality, but he's so much more confident and likeable. Girls think he's cute and funny, and even though he still prefers guys like I do, no one judges him for that even when we've yet to have any relationships, online or off. I seriously wish I could be him in real life but my parents don't really accept the idea that I want to be a boy.. They always say I'm such a pretty girl, and I worry that I might ruin things for myself if I take any action and it kinda breaks my heart to be the person I want to be solely online...

I do the very same thing. Bad thing is I had a beautiful girlfriend for the last 7 yrs and blew it when she was gone for 16 days with no word. I suffer from the usual mess of things associated with being transgender. So i sent messages not knowing anything. My emotions went crazy and I went insane. Words said that when she saw them it was something that she cant ever forget. She was gonna stay with me up in tell then. But it gets worse. Too long for here.

Do you want to talk about it ?

i would love to

I really dont know what to do. I was pretending to be a boy online and i stopped like 5 months ago. I had a quite hard time because this girl i liked didnt wanted to talk to me anymore because i basically lied to her. I promised myself that i will never do it again cause its not worth it. So i started talking to few boys online but its not the same. They all want just nudes and they are not really up for a normal convo. So i made up a new account as a boy and it started again. I got caught in my old addiction again. I really feel terrible inside. I know im lying to this people and that sucks. I really need to stop but i have no idea what to do. I feel like i really need this account and that i cant deleted it or stop doing it. Im afraid that i will make again a big damage in other people lifes. I would really appreciate it if someone could talk to me. Im feeling so depressed.

Please don't continue doing this. I beg you.. I was on the other side and this girl made up the most perfect guy in the entire world. I loved this person like you could never imagine. They'd keep making all these promises and saying that'd we'd meet but of course those were all fake. I have lost this person I dreamed about being with for many years. but I'm also sorry to hear this girl stopped wanting to talk to you. I think i'm willing to try to forgive the girl that lied to me but all I'd be willing to give her is friendship and someone to talk to.. but she's been ignoring me.

Im really sorry to hear that. I know it must be really difficult to know that a person you loved was lying to you all the time. Thats why i also decided to tell this girl the truth and to start again. It just didnt worked but i guess its okay. She has all the right not to talk to me. This girl that has been talking to you shouldnt be ignoring you. I wish the girl that i talked to could forgive me like you would forgive yours.

I'm a thick girl and a lesbian i have confidents in my looks. I started playing a game(IMVU) when i was 12.I have been playing as a guy for 3 years now and have had many relationships with girls. Over the years i got better at lying. I have only now started to skype with my friends online and text them. Its easy for me too make a guy's voice when we skype. I found this girl and i really fell for her and she fell for me. She ansked me for my skype and i gave it to her. She tells me every day that she loves me so much and i say it back.On the game i got her "prego" so i'm like her baby daddy and i'm happy but i also feel so selfish it hurts.I don't want to break up with her and sometimes i get ready to say "it's over" but i can't.She doesn't know what i look like and i don't know what she looks like but i know she's a girl by her voice. I lied about so many things i feel sick. We text sex stuff and we have sex on the game too.I want to delete my account so bad but i can't i'm addicted to it and i have used so much money on the account but i know this are just excuses.When my friends want to see a picture of me i just say that "my mom doesn't want me to put my face on the internet and if she finds it on the internet she will take every thing from me and i wont be able to talk to you guys anymore" and they believe me but of course thats a lie. I'm not a bad person i never meant to trick people i was young and stupid at first i was just trying the game out then it led to this. i will never take someone else's picture and say thats what i look like. My girlfriend lives really close to me but i'm glade she hasn't ansked to meet yet. She says that she will kill herself a lot but i know she wont well i hope she doesn't and i think telling her the truth will push her too far.I have really good friends on the game and i don't want to lose them but i know i will if i tell them. This might be hard for some people to read srry>.

OK this is an update,so i told my girlfriend about a month ago she was mad and she started asking questions like whats my sexual orientation and stuff like that and i answered truthfully,we broke up but we kept texting each other i apologized many times.A few days after i told her she told me she still loved me and i asked her if she wanted to go out again and she said i don't know so i gave her time and just yesterday she said she loved me and i asked her if she meant as a friend and she said no as a girlfriend and that she doesn't care if i'm a girl and that i'm hers so i asked her out again and she said yes so now we are dating again.If she fell for you the first time who says she can't fall for you again i got the gud side of it but guys realy just tell her the truth if she realy loves you then she will stick with you but if she doesn't she has all the right not too.And i disabled my account yes i miss it but its for the bes;0t

I'm on the other side of things and the girl that lied to me has been ignoring me. I've been thinking I could give this girl my friendship. I'm not lesbian or anything but I really cared about this person but I'd just be willing to give her friendship for now . I dont even know her reasons for lying to me.

HeyHey, I did the same thing. Pretended to be a guy (But not for fun) and I was that really popular guy that all the girls wanted. It's was brilliant. I found this one girl that I fell for and I was deeply in love with her (yes, I am a lesbian) but she was straight. I was terrified of telling her the truth, we were so close and we were dating for about 6 months. About 3 weeks before Valentines day I decided to tell her. She wasn't happy. She was hurt and heart broken. But she decided we could still be friends. So, if you really trust these "girlfriends" you have then if you do tell them who you are, they'll stay with you. It'll take time for them to trust you again but really, it's better than having to keep lying to them =)

Well i thought i could tell this girl the truth...and i thought we can try to be friends but since then we didnt spoke again

It's been quite a while since I told my ex girlfriend the truth. We haven't talked in months and I'm wondering if it's time for me to move on and delete my fake account. I'm just afraid that one day she'll need me and I won't be around to talk to her. Do you think I should delete it?. If so, should I send her a message to inform her that I won't be around any longer or should I just disappear and leave everything that happened between us in the past?.

I do the same...since one year and i really like her cause even if im in bad mood she cheers me up. Im straight but she is like my soulmate.....i really need someone to talk to

I pretended to be a man for nearly three years (I only told her the truth about five months ago). If you're still in need of someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message.

Add a response...

I am a woman who is in love with a woman who pretends to be a man.
We have been in touch for over 7 years and we have even met, without me knowing that she was the one I was talking to all that while. She introduced herself as a friend of the man she said she was. I found out bit by bit, putting pieces together that wouldn't fit.
I have known for about 10 weeks now and I don't know how to tell her that I know. I am scared how she would react, scared that she'll disappear and never talk to me again. We're on two different continents, so it's not like I can drive by. I can't lose her. She's the love of my life. I've been in various relationships, I know what I want and need.

Has anybody of you girls who pretends/used to pretend to be a guy dealt with this situation that your counterpart told you they knew about your true identity? I want to be calm, warm, gentle about this. I want to tell her that I understand that life sometimes gets entangled. That I'm not mad. That I just wish we can be together without "him" in the middle. I don't know her motives for wanting to be a guy online and I don't know how much she would miss the male persona she's created. But I love her and I need to try and get the chance to hold her, hug her, kiss her one day. Can anyone of you give me some advice, please? I'm so sad - not because "he" is a she, but because we'll never be able to meet if this isn't clarified. I care for her so much - and I just want to be with her.
Thank you for listening.

This may not be a great answer to your question as I was the person in my situation who was pretending to be a male but I'll try my best to give you the best advice that I can. ^^

At the beginning of your confrontation message, you should tell her that you love her very much, you'll love her no matter what happens and nothing will ever change that. Then you should proceed to tell her about how you found out about her true identity. You should probably end the message by saying that you're not angry and you still want to be in a relationship because you love her very much.

I don't think that she'll cut contact with you over this. She was probably feeling very guilty about this whole situation for years and she will most likely feel relieved that she doesn't have to tell you the truth herself and that you're willing to accept her. I also don't believe that she'll miss her male persona. I was so glad to have finally gotten rid of mine but of course, I can't speak for her. Anyway, good luck!.

I agree entirely.

I have pretended to be a male online for 5 years. And my motives were always to find someone who was like me. To fill my void and to feel less lonely. I was scared of telling everyone who I was so I hid behind a male persona. But, I fell in love. My most recent love..She was the only one I told. Only because I was scared of leaving her like I did with all the rest. She was the love of my life. So, I told her..She was furious but did not lash out. She stayed with me..Although we broke up only a month ago after our meeting in person. She couldn't adjust..You love them. I'm sure they love you, otherwise they would have left. Tell them how you feel and ease into it..radiate warmth in your words, tell them that regardless of their gender, you want to be with them. Let them know that they will be accepted, because if they don't know that and aren't completely sure..They'll feel uneasy around you. Because I sure wish that my partner didn't leave me because they couldn't adjust but still needed me in their life..

Thank you for your replies. I couldn't do anything about the situation so far. She is still "he", and I play along. It's difficult. She makes love to me as "he" and I like it. I love it. I thought I knew sex (cybersex, for that matter) before, but compared to what I have with her, everything else was just **** and un-authentic. Ironic, I know. But everything with her feels real, so much real than when I was with guys and felt I needed to be pretty and perfect for them.
Things are ok, but last week I had a breakdown. I just want to see her. I want to meet her, hold her, love her. It's killing me that I can't. I could cry right now, but I'm telling myself that life is sending a message through all this. You can't force things. And I know how sensitive she reacts to being doubted. Just take this weekend: she went out of her hometown to a different place. She had told me where she's going, I looked it up on google maps and must have inserted something wrong. I was like "it's only half an hour from where you live, no?" - she said "I have already told you that it's 3 hours away. When I tell you the same thing 3 times and you still don't believe me, I feel like my credibility is at stake." She gets so upset when I question anything she says. How can I confront her about her not being "him" when she reacts like this even with small things? Whenever the focus of the conversation is about the general subject of truth/lie, she "freaks out". A while ago -knowing who she really was, already- I said "And if you have ever lied to me, it doesn't matter. I love you nonetheless, I will always love you, no matter what". And she started crying and said "Let me go now." It's not exactly encouraging. Same thing the other week. She had told me "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's not that I want to keep you away from me, but I got caught up in a mess of my own creation." I knew what she was talking about. But she continued to explain the "mess" in other ways (job, health, etc.). I said things like "Well, I wish I could help you get rid of this weight. You know you can tell me anything. I can be your friend, girlfriend, whatever you like. And I can take up the male role at some point, if you like, but (I don't think I could fill it out as well as you do-" ---but I didn't get so say the last part as she went like "Ok, I'm sad now, let me go." I try to communicate on the level of both of us THAT KNOWS. I'm convinced that on a so-called subconscious level, she knows that I know. Or at least part of her does. I am trying to tell her all the things she needs to know for her to be honest with me. The worst part is that she says things like "I can't lie to you" ---but she does it every day. And she lies to herself as well. I feel discouraged, because it feels like she needs "him" more than me. To me it feels like she doesn't want to be with me as her, only as "him". It's painful. I feel like I will lose her if I tell her that I know. This is so twisted! I shouldn't have to fear losing her as I am not the one who is lying about their identity. I don't want to live in fear. It's exhausting me. But I can't leave. I wouldn't. I can't. I have tried in the past, to leave "him", before I knew who she really was --- it was horrible and painful and lasted for about 6 months, then we were in touch again and ever since then I feel like the draw to her/"him" is so strong that I can't do anything about it. And I don't want to. I love her. I love her even MORE and easier and more relaxed and more whole-heartedly now that I And she's a great person. She really made it in life. I learn from her. I love and I learn. She reads poetry to me, she falls asleep with me, she lets me share my thoughts and feelings --- I wish she would let "him" go. I can't confront her, because whenever she feels I get close to the topic of her identity, she withdraws (see above). She literally runs away "I'm sad, let me go." And then I have to beg her to stay. I don't know what to do. The sex with her is awesome, you can't even call it sex, it's love-making. She gives me everything I ever wanted. And she is exactly what I asked for in life. But she won't let me see her. How can she, right? What is the motivation to start all this? If I knew what made her start to pretend being a guy, I would know better what to do --- and I could estimate the consequences of confrontation better. I wish she would find it within herself to clarify everything - I keep telling her "I love you, no matter what. You can tell me anything. I am your counterpart, your best friend. I am your girlfriend, but I am also your friend. You know you can trust me, right?" A while ago she started saying "I am worried about you, so worried that you're making my breasts grow." She then was explaining that she said it that way because sometimes she feels like she's mothering people. When I still thought she was "him", I found this so strange and unfitting, now I find it sweet and amusing. And I say things like "I love you no matter what, breasts or no breasts." I even dared to say "Oh, since you have breasts too, may I kiss them? That would be such an exciting new experience." She said something along the lines of "Oh god". I said "Ok, I don't have to touch your breasts. I don't have to touch you at all. Holding you and kissing you would be more than enough." You see, we DO talk about this without openly talking about this. What can I do? She's 35, I'm 32. We're not teenagers. We're two intelligent women. How is all this possible?
If you have any comment, any advice, or -especially- if you would like to tell me about your motivation to pretend to be a guy online, please do. I'd appreciate it. Thank you for reading this long post. I know it's kind of cluttered, I apologize.

P.S.: Again: I love her. More than anything. She is the one. How can I undo/help her undo this mess in a gentle way, without scaring her away, without losing her? I can't lose her. I am her and she is me. And I am hers.

Speaking out of my experience. It is very hard to disconnect yourself from your persona. I found it extremely difficult. He became apart of me, this false character became apart of who I was because it was me but hiding behind something I admired. Even when my best friend ( ex ) said the things in which you say to her, there is always doubt. Loads of doubt and anxiety. She always use to say " I love you, no matter what. We're soul mates and we'll always be together. Believe me " And look at where were at, although she stills says " I love you " sometimes.. It's not the same anymore. I cry over her every night because she left me, your partner probably fears something like that will happen. My motivation was to find someone who could love me and rely on me. I was uncomfortable with myself so I created him. I fell in love. Over and over again, but I never learned until now. When I found someone who was utterly perfect for me..left. And now I know. To never step into his shoes again. Yea, I'm only 18. But I've never been so miserable. Which says a lot. Again, I will stress the importance and radiating plenty of warmth. Tread lightly on the topics that may send her into an uneasy state of mind. You have to confront her, after telling her how much you love her. How much she means. Then spill it, gently. And if she leaves, you have to reassure her because having no security in something like that is the worst. Remind her of why you love her, tell her that regardless..You'll be by her side. She's extremely lucky to have someone who will love her and remain by her even after her lies.

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I have finally told my ex internet girlfriend (we're still talking and are friends) that the picture I have sent her nearly a year ago was not me, that I'm so sorry and I don't expect her to ever forgive me. I have left her that message about a a half an hour ago and she hasn't replied to me despite being online. Not that I deserve a reply anyway. I still haven't managed to tell her that I'm a female though. I'm just glad that I have taken the first step to freeing myself of the guilt that I feel on a nearly daily basis. I have become a lot more paranoid since telling her that picture I sent her was really a picture of my friend. Whenever any of my family members approach me, I feel like they're going to scold me. Even typing this is making me kind of anxious.

You have to tell her once she replies. I know that feeling, I told my girlfriend almost two months ago..Although we're best friends now, it feels so much better being able to be yourself. If you lose them, I am sorry..But it has to be done.

Thank you for your response ^^. I shall tell her when she replies to me which may not be for a long time as she doesn't tend to read any of the long messages that I send her. I'm usually just rambling whenever I send her long messages anyway. I'm glad to see that you have been able to overcome this problem. I wish you the best of luck in the future

Update: I'm sorry if this is bothersome to some people but I have a few things to get off my chest. My ex girlfriend wasn't too upset over me sending her a fake picture. She responded by saying "You lied to me :(. Oh well, I always thought that you would be cuter than him anyway". Then when I sent her a really apologetic message about me being a girl she replied by saying "I can't tell if you're being serious or not...". I told her that I was being serious, she hasn't replied yet. I know that message was really simple but it made me want to curl up into a ball and be engulfed by a black hole. I feel absolutely awful right now. Hopefully, she will let me off easy this time as I have told her about my mental problems and my somewhat traumatic childhood. I wouldn't count on it though. Telling her the truth hasn't been all bad. For the first time in two years, I have a clean conscience. I had completely forgotten how good it feels to not have any secrets. Whenever I get offline, I feel happy as I no longer have anything to hide but whenever I'm online, I feel like I'm Hitler.... It's an odd feeling.

You did the right thing. Ol and in RL. Feel guilty free in both. You can only learn from your mistakes, promise yourself to never do it again (and really mean it) then move on.

Good luck with her next response and feel free to on me of you need someone to talk to :)

Thank you so much!. I'm certain that I'll never do this again. Creating fake accounts has done nothing but set me back in life and made me feel like I was drowning in guilt. I haven't got a response from her yet. Perhaps she needs time to let this revelation sink in. She hasn't blocked me or anything like that.
I'd love to speak with you ^^. This has been a pretty difficult experience. I'm feeling a more at ease than I was yesterday

This will probably be my last update. I'm sorry if I'm kind of clogging up this section of Experience Project. I think that I'm coming to the end of this stage in my life. Please bare with me >.<
I still haven't heard from her. I'm starting to think that she won't reply to me at all. That's probably better for both of us as arguing with her would upset me immensely and it would probably make her feel just as terrible. Thankfully, she has gained a lot of friends recently so perhaps they could help her cope with me being a liar. I have nobody to help me cope or to talk except the people of EP who are lovely and pretty awesome.
My state of mind has changed a lot since I made that post four days ago. I feel like I've become a better person as a result of this experience (that may or may not be true). I believe that I can only improve upon myself and become more wise after seeing the results of a series of awful mistakes that I have made two years ago that have haunted me since. In conclusion, I'm feeling optimistic about the future. All of the negativity hasn't completely left my mind though. I had a dream a few days before my confession about me telling her the truth and she responded by calling me ugly and suing me. Can people do that?. Sometimes, I'm half expecting an angry ex girlfriend to be at my doorstep whenever my doorbell rings

3 More Responses

I honestly thought no one else in the world could possibly have messed up their own lives more than me; or even been in the same situation as me. I'm a girl and I'm 21 years old. My whole life I've had to move around the world because of my father's demanding job. This caused me to have trouble adjusting in the places I moved to and the people I meet. When I was 13, I started to turn to online gaming as a way to talk to others and reach out to the world. It began as a little white lie when someone asked me if I was a boy and from there it spiraled onward into a bigger mess. In these past 8 years I have had many online girlfriends and stress because of it. I have spent money on these games buying memberships and basically getting sucked into being friends and more with these girls who think I am such an awesome guy. I used to rely on these online friends even more than my real life friends just because it seemed easier. I even thought that my feelings for these girls were real and I partly still do because of how connected I feel towards them. One day I just couldn't take it anymore. I decided to tell the girl who I used to be with and still liked the truth. I told her in a text 'I'm not who I say I am' and when she asked what do you mean? I said 'I'm someone else' I told her who I am. My real name was all I had to tell her because everything else I ever told her was true. She surprised me by also telling me that she isn't who she said she was either. She then confessed that she was still a girl but just not from where she said she was from.. and actually from the same place as me. I couldn't believe it. We talked for hours and in the end she wanted to still be with me. During my time of lies I had used pictures of a guy I used to know, but I finally caved and sent her a real picture of me. She did too and we decided to meet in real life. We're together now and even though things are a bit shaky at times because of the awkwardness from all we have been through, I just wanted to tell you all that it can happen. That person who you are lying to... CAN STILL LOVE YOU. I don't know what will happen in the future. I don't think of myself as a lesbian but I guess I have her as an exception because I really do love her. My only problem now is I have to stop playing that game where I still have a boy character and still am in another relationship! I am addicted to it and I have no idea how to pull myself away from it. I know it's an awful waste of money. I have tried several times to end it with the other girl but it resulted in a mess and the girl who I am with could tell that I wasn't ok, but I couldn't tell her why because I didn't want her to feel hurt about it. I feel like things in my life could be perfect if I pull myself away from that game even though it will hurt to begin with and that other girl will hate me for it. I HAVE to ignore it. I'm going to try at the end of summer and make up some excuse about my family not allowing me to be online anymore. Or not having the money. I'm not sure yet but this has helped me to share... so if anyone read this, thank you.

I'm not being disrespectful in anyway, but has anyone felt sexual feelings for the person they were lying to? I really need to know because I'm getting scared that I'm not actually a lesbian like I thought I was. My first and only love was someone I "catfished". I fell completely in love with her and imagined making love to her all of the time as the guy to make it "not gay".

What is "the love" you feel for these people?

do female bodies turn you all on or male? only female bodies turn me on but I'm so scared it's only because I WANT to be attracted to women.

Yes!! I did l this and 10 yrs on i still do. She's moved on and don't speak to me now we used to speak 24/7 even on phone. I'm come out as trans and I am transitioning to male but i was female when I did this. I can't get her out my head it's like a part of my life that's stuck!

I've been doing the same thing. I absolutely adore this person I'm with but I've lied for around 9 months..But for 4 years in general before this. I've been trapped and I wanted to escape but I kept falling. I have lied but all of my feelings are sincere. I realized that I am bi due to all of this and so is this person. I want to tell them but I'm afraid of losing the love of my life. They want to meet but I always have to make up a bullcrap lie..I would kill to spend a day with them. Again, I am so scared of them hating me but honestly, I deserve it. I was afraid of people so I hid behind a persona..This persona became who I am basically. I have no one but my love..I don't even know if I could cope with losing them because of my young stupidity.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. At least you can blame it on being young. And you sound fine to me as you are. Moreover, your love is bi so will probably forgive you as he/she will still find the real you attractive. Feel free to pm me anytime. Im a good listener and cannot possibly judge :)

That would be great but I'm far too scared to do it. Whenever I feel like it; it feels as if I'm going to puke and I immediately shut up. They've been lied to before by friends and can't even forgive them. Imagine this? I just..I don't know. I lack the backbone to do it and my time is gonna run out soon with them because they WANT to meet. I don't know how to escape..

Im going through the exact the same problem.
I know exactlly what you mean by " I hid behind a persona..This persona became who I am basically" thats me.
I lied for 7 years now. it all started as a game but i fell in love, and now I cant move on, i don't like people in real life because noone compares to her. i need closure and i know the only way to do that is by telling the truth, but Im actually phisicaly ill right now just thinking about telling her and her reaction. I just don't want to lose her. I know i have to say the truth but I just can't.

From the way you describe it, it does sound that you are thansgender like me and it is the persona that is the authentic you, whereas the female version of you that everybody else sees, is the fake person that you were forced to create when you were a child.

And the reason why nobody compares to her, is that she's the only one who saw you as the real you.

I would say wait till your illness passes then tell her..I told her a month ago and we ended up meeting in person two weeks ago. Although they broke up with me two days after our meeting, I'm glad I'm not living with the guilt. But not having her as my own..It does bother me to no end. You have to tell her..Give yourself a chance with her..

And if you need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to pm. I'm here to help you if you need it

3 More Responses

I'm doing the same thing. I have an account as a boy and I'm falling for this girl, but I'm a girl. I'm straight, not lesbian, but I hate myself and who I am so I thought maybe I can make a personality of someone else and just be them. I still have my account as a girl because I made so many great friends on there so I switch between them. i know I'll never get the courage to tell this girl who I really am but I've given her hope and I've given her a chance at life and even if it's not really me who's done that, I'm glad somebody did

The problem is that when it ends age will lose that hope. That could be in one week or month or year etc but it will happen and the longer you leave it, the harder it is. You are not a bad person though. You just need to get out of this bad decision. Don't be stupid like me. Leave her a message with the truth then delete the account. If I had to do it over again then that's what I would. I hope everything works out ok and if you need someone to listen then I am here. Just pm me. I know it's so hard but you can do this. I promise :)

Hi, I honestly thought I was the only one. And I did it by accident. I started playing this online geeky war game when I was in hospital. Everyone just presumed I was a guy and then, once I became the leader of a team, I couldn't say as I was seen as this strong guy. That's was fine though as it was only a game or so I thought. Then I met this woman. We started one night on group chat and she messaged me and told me something personal. I felt I needed to tell her something personal back. So I did. However, this quickly escalated. We talked all the time. She made me laugh and we got on so well. Ofc, she then asks me about my wildest fantasy. I panic but - thinking as a guy - I make one up. She loves it and send me something even more erotic back. So I panic even more. And I try to pull back. It's only been 3 days but she says that she can't just be my friend. And I stupidly give in. But I don't share any more fantasy for a while (in total there were two). I could easily avoid talking about that stuff. So we were really just best friends then we had a fight. A big fight. And before I realised it, I had told her I loved her. I couldn't remove the message so just waited for her response. When she got back on, I asked if she could forget it but she said that she couldn't. That she felt similar. It was another two weeks before she said the words but I was over the moon. So happy. By now I started to fantasise I was him and my life with her. I was screwed. But I wasn't thinking of the consequences. She thought we were soul mates. And I would and have done everything for her. When she was broke, I lent her money. When her family fell apart, I was there for her. There were lots of ups and downs. But we were happy. And she wanted to meet me after just 3 months. She got angry when I was resistant so I said I had booked tickets. Ofc, now we had an end point. I thought about just writing her a confession and selling my phone. She needed to hear the truth. But after two lack lustre ex husbands and being a badly treated other woman, I didn't want her to drop her standards again. I had given her confidence to bloom into the beautiful woman I knew she was. Everyone noticed how happy she was. She has the most heart melting smile. She is funny and smart. And she has a big heart. But low self esteem. So I thought (very stupid) that killing him off was a better solution. That way she would stop seeing guys who took for granted and have the standards to get the guy she deserves. Well, that was the most stupid mistake ever. I came on as a family member to check she was ok and she was distraught. Didn't have anything to live for and was thinking of killing herself. So I tried to fix it (well, once you are in a hole keep digging). I have slowly managed to get her back on track. The plan worked in essence. She misses him terribly but now thinks she maybe can move on for the right guy a year and half later. There is only one rub, I'm now her best friend. She is dependant on me. This not only hurts me (although I really do deserve it) but it means I need to keep lying to her. Square one plus almost two years. And, if I leave her, I'm worried about how she will cope. Im all she has in this world.


Someone please email me:

I've been doing this for 10 years of my life pretending to be a boy when I'm actually a girl and straight. I've had several relationships, faked as 3 different boys but the last one really got me into such a whirlwind of devastation when I got caught into a serious relationship that has lasted 5 years and 8 months and ongoing. It tears me up, I've lied to her about so much but not once about how I feel for her. I feel sick that I've fallen for a girl as I indulge my entire mentality into that boy I created. She doesn't suspect me because I have pictures and the real boy is a tool for me. Whenever she wants a picture I ask him to send one to the real me. He's goodlooking but a cheater and a deceiver. Most boys are. I'm not ugly by any means and have many guys coming up to me, hitting one me and trying to sleep with me. This I find so morally wrong that it has thrown me into a pessimistic cynical state of never being able to trust men which is why I created this perfect individual who is so flawed in every way that I personally am. My personality is that of his.

I can fake a boy voice so well especially through years of practice and by naturally having an alto voice.
It has gotten so bad that I would get on webcam with the real guy just to record his video clip and then use it to get on webcam with the girl I love. She has suspected me on several occasions but every time I banked on the fact that she trusts me.

I'm not a bad person arguably of course I am bad in that I have done this to another human being yet I am not bad in any other fashion in my life. I have helped her through so much emotionally, mentally and even physically by sending her money for rent, supporting her through university, helping her get a job, helping her family when they needed financial help desperately.

I lied about my family about my mother who I said was dead who as my own self both parents are still alive. In reality I have a brother who did molest me when I was a teenager however I believe it was a lapse of judgment and never will happen again albeit I believe it isn't the right thing to do nor is it justifiable. She thinks that I (him) has a sister who died because she tore me and broke my heart and outcasted me for no reason as she was going through a rough patch in her life and I felt so hurt I made up the death of another to gain sympathy just as I have made up several different situations of me (him) ending up in hospital.

I have had phone sex with her, webcam sex with her (using that guys video clips of explicit motion) and I have pressured her for these things in the past as I led myself to believe that my alter ego really existed and that I could not (and neither could she) afford to lose him as part of her life.

As I created my own world of this alter ego I stopped socialising with people, drifted away from friends and this all came very easy as I moved out of the country away from my family for studies over a 5 year period so I always lived alone. Now I have no friends no confidence and no idea on how to start back again.

I've completely ****** this one up as I care about her so much she's confided in me things such as her being raped which made me not want to leave in the initial point of our relationship. I've tried to break it off on several occasions feeling like I'm killing myself and killing her in the time being by giving her false hope however her life seems so dramatic as her sister always ends up in hospital for being suicidal, her family always took advantage of her and she always needed someone to be there for her whether it was to bail her out financially or to support her emotionally.

I have met her as a friend of his (the real me) and was completely devastated as she felt that he (me) had left her to the hands of some stranger as she travelled across the Atlantic to meet him. I cried everyday she was there with me over two weeks always wanting to tell her but never being able to bring myself to doing it. I felt that she needed me and even now I feel that she needs me or at least she needs the person I have created. She used to threaten to kill herself if I left her so I never did. Now she doesn't but she's an emotional wreck. She will not ever be with me as who I am because she is strictly straight, and by knowing her I know she isn't into the kind of person I am - a petite Chinese girl who faked being a white British boy. And I wouldn't blame her but to think that I would risk everything that I am is devastating.

I want to visit her as me again (his friend) to confess to her and come clean and yes I am absolutely petrified. I lie to my parents about why they should let me go alone as I currently live on the opposite side of the world from her. They have no idea what's going on as I lie about being in love with some guy they just started hearing about. I want to come clean to her and express how I feel for her. She will not forgive me but inside I wish she does so badly. It kills me to think that this was all pretend and that it never will and never can be the truth.

She said she has fallen in love with the person that I am and the truth is the person that I am truly is me personality and character but more important my love for her. I am risking everything I have and everything that I am to confess to her as I could lose my future career, my family, my life but she has to know.. She just has to..

I really need help and I need advice please tell me if I should confess. She hasn't been the best to me at times voluntarily hurting me, ignoring me, getting drunk and arrested. But I feel that she is an amazing person and I don't know how I would cope. I'm straight she's straight. I fooled myself into separating my emotions as a girl and a guy that I fell in love with her as a guy but seeing as that guy is me I myself feel for her uncontrollably. I can't eat I can't sleep and I've been crying for over a year now for almost every day. I get so jealous and envious of those around her because I know I can never be them to her and I can never be the person she wants me to be. It goes to the point where I fear her ending up with another man and moving on with her life together with him. God I know it's selfish but I can't help how much I love her it makes me want to kill myself and I will if she doesn't accept me for who I am. That's how much I would sacrifice because yes I know it is wrong for me to have lied and deceive for so long I know people would classify me as inhumane and I don't blame you at all.

Please just help me make this decision of whether or not to confess to her knowing it will kill her entirely as she fell in love with this guy so crazily beyond comprehension for a dedicated period of 5 years and 8 months. She was there when my grandmother died, my grandaunts died, my dog died, when I was being stalked (in real life but I twisted the story so she believed it was the guy part of me being stalked), and everything else imagine able as have I been there for her when she was kicked out of her home by her mother, her grandmother, I helped her move out, be strong over her distant father who doesn't give a **** about her, her suicidal sister, her financial problems, her emotional and mental problems, her school work, her work life, everything...

Please help me make the right choice whether it is the right thing to do.. To come clean... And why you think so..

Hi dear, i know that you did not mean to harm anybody and just got carried away.... Well, you are in love... You should come clean to her, that way, AT LEAST you would have a chance to be with her.... If you don't you could NEVER have that chance... If she loves you so much, she might, just might accept you... This comes from a girl who once thought (or wanted) to be straight... But the love of my life is a girl.

Somebody please msg me. I need help. I need to hear from people in the same situation. I am a female pretending to be a male on a game. I thought I was the only one doing this up until now. I'm heartbroken over it and so ashamed. I broke it off with my "gf" today, but I am so sad because I broke her heart. I truly do love her. Developed real feelings for her. She is so precious, but I just don't want to give her false hope. It's sooooo wrong. I just don't understand why I am doing it. Why is it so addicting? Why can't I just be me? Everything was true but my gender. ughhhhh

I don't mean to hurt people, I didn't even mean to carry on this way, but after I tried it so I could play games without guys hating me, I sort of became addicted and created male profiles on practically everything

You guys are totally unfair in thinking this is okay and carrying these relationships on. I met a "guy" 3 years ago. He was the perfect man. Charming, good looking and attentive. We were firstly friends. I got pregnant by my then boyfriend who then dumped me and left me pregnant. This "guy" I'd met asked if he could step up and look after us and if I'd give him a try and be his girlfriend. I didn't have anything to lose so I went with it. After two years of me sticking by him with his troubles. Also enduring the endless excuses of him not turning up on meet days because of his tourettes or ocd, I had enough. My son adored him as did I. Something always felt not right. His first excuse after arguments of me saying he wasn't who I said he was, was that he was married. It hurt but I asked him to choose us and he apparently did but didn't turn up again. Eventually after being so depressed and down over it I had a huge argument which in turn had this person tell me they were a girl. I am in bits. I have a child who wants to speak to this person on the phone. I have no confidence and I'm seriously depressed. Please don't do this to people. It's someone's life and someone's emotions you are toying with. I thought I had a family and now I don't.

<p>&nbsp;<p>You guys are really odd. Here you have so many guys out there who are dying to give girls attention, especially in online games. Gamer girls are like idols to the male masses who play these games. And yet you fake being the male gender. Not only this but the secrecy and lies tear you apart. I am a guy, and I believe I'm qualified to know how guys generally react to girls online. Whenever I create a female character online - just because I enjoy looking at a female 24/7 instead of a hairy, old man - I don't even have to do anything to get the men hitting on me. And that's a real pain for someone who's a guy and one of the straightest arrows in the quiver. In a way my own straightness has gotten me into the situation I found myself in before I came to this site. Women online are a luxury. And men online are a dime a dozen. We don't need women acting like men, too. The balance is already tipped. It'd just be a pain to tip it any more. You're valuable more than you know. So you should drop this act and be who you were born to be. I think you would find you'd still get more attention than you want.</p><p></p>

But when I was playing on the computer with guys in my school who knew I was female, after I beat them, they locked me out of the computer room and said they hated me :(

everyone im now doin what you were doin. or may still be. im ftm transgender and i didnt make an acount to be a real boy or anything like that, i made a fan page and i saw the most beautiful girl ive seriously ever seen, so i deiced to ask for her kik and she gave me it and we talked for the longest time and we both started havin really deep feelings for eachother, so we dated. she broke up with me after a while and that was that. we do skype and stuff like that because i try to pass as a boy so she doesnt really notice anything ever. now/today im madly inlove with her we have this connection i dont think i can ever have with any one else. but its not right i cant lie to her about me bein biologically a girl im so scared shes gonna do something to her self, i deserve anything she does or says to me i put it to far i just thought i should say that and it feels good that i am gonna tell her im just scared for her

and i ment i cant lie to her a about a male when im not biologically

You wouldn't be lying, my dear. But you will need to inform her at some point. If you'd like, I can direct you to some transgender pamphlets and sites that might be helpful.

I've been doing the same thing for almost 4 years up until now!

I won't tell how it started but I fake profiles and identities all the time. I've had a lot of friends all over the internet and got really close to them. It's just that, I can easily open up to them unlike the people I met in real life, I can express myself online not being awkward and can even have great conversations. It's not like I'm shy in real but I just find it more comfortable attempting to be someone, someone I attain to be.

I've been doing the same thing since I was 9. But it's always been the same person I've pretended to be. And I am a female pretending to be a gay male online. I met this one "guy" online and I really fell for him hard. Turns out he was a she, at first I was furious at her for breaking my fake world.. but I continued to talk to her as 'him'. I've never wanted to come clean and now she's figured me out... the only way I can think to get rid of this obsession is for her to know the truth.. but it is too painful. I just want to know why I want to be this guy so bad... sometimes I feel crazy. I just want to love who I really am.

I've been doing this for years.I'm not a lesbian either,but I had feelings for every single girl I've ever talked to.This time though things got worse.I've been talking to this girl for like a couple months and I really really like her.Well the thing is,she's in love with me.I can't keep pretending like this,it really makes me feel just so bad but I can't leave her either.She's always like begging me not to leave her.The poor girl is actually depressed and she always says I'm the only one who can make her feel better and that she doesn't know what she'd do without me.She even told me she'd kill herself if I ever stopped talking to her.We both live in the same country so she said she's going to come to visit someday so I really just can't pretend anymore.I don't know how to put an end to this without hurting her.

Okay okay. To answer your first problem: Sexuality, Gender, and a whole heap of other things aren't a set strict rule in a person. Instead of thinking about it as being 'gay' or 'straight', think of it on a slider bar. You're not a lesbian, but you can be attracted to girls, because your sexuality is on a sliderbar, not a ledger. Heck, even day to day, the slider bar shifts. You're not attracted to every guy you meet in the world, that doesn't make you a lesbian. So it's the same the other way around.

Secondly. That girl is most definitely manipulating you. Whether she knows she's doing it or not. Threatening to kill herself if you leave her is a manipulation tactic. So is a lot of the rest of it: like telling you that you're the only one that cares about her. This can lead to an emotionally abusive relationship. These are really big signs that she will becoming, and is already being emotionally abusive. Just because she believes you're a guy doesn't mean that you deserve emotional abuse.

In conclusion: I've been in an emotionally abusive relationship before. Looking back, I can see the signs, and I wish I had have listened to them and gotten out of it straight away. But I felt like I deserved it because I let her down a long time ago. I didn't deserve it, though. There's no point in arbitrary punishment. Don't set yourself up to have that happen to you.

There is no way not to hurt the emotionally abusive one in the relationship. The only thing you can do is promise yourself you won't go down with her. Promise yourself. because she will drag you down with her. Let's do some cold maths. If someone's being self destructive would you rather they only took themself out, or another person as well? You're that other person. If it's too hard to tell her you're leaving because she'll manipulate you by chucking a fit and going off to kill herself, leave quietly. If you think you can do it without letting her manipulate you, tell her exactly why you're leaving, that you won't be manipulated, and if she does say she's going to die, call the ambulance. I repeat, call the ambulance, wash your hands of it, and cut ties. Right. Now. Don't look back. Don't be this woman's pillar of salt. It may be really hard, and it may be sad. She may be very sick and pitiable. But those people are like natural disasters. You can't stop a tornado by loving at it and having a relationship. You need to get out of the way. One day maybe, she might be able to exist without using fear tactics to trap you, maybe she won't. If she's suicidal and so invested in you, she's not ready for a relationship anyway.

You have a chance to be the bigger person. Heck, you've even got an easy out on your bad decision to pretend to be a guy.

Take it. The rest of these guys here don't have that chance. They're gonna have to do it the hard way.

Please read this. Please.

Thank you.You just made my day.

Also,she's not really threating to kill herself if I stop talking to her,she said I'm the only reason for her to stay alive and that without me she'd have nothing else to live for.However,that still makes me feel bad and I'm pretty sure it would make me feel guilty if she killed herself,no matter the reason.

I'm also kind of depressed so we're helping each other,or something like that.She's really nice and she always worries about me,which kind of made me get a bit too attached to her.I think.I don't really know how to explain this thing that me and her have,it's quite complicated.

*hugs* Aw, I'm glad I helped somewhat. All relationships are complicated. But it still sounds like you've both got problems that you can figure out. I think you still need to do something about the fact that she thinks you've got different anatomy, though. It might be good to lay all your thoughts out in a letter to yourself, and start out speaking to yourself how you would her. Make sure you do it in increments, so it's not a lot of devastating pressure at the get go. Look up Transgender, not because you are one, I don't know if you are, but it has a lot of information on how to tell someone you're still the same person, but your privates are shaped a little differently than they think. Hopefully this will help. You can do this. Make sure you're up on the uptake, though, so you can answer any questions she has easily.

I'm pretty sure telling her will help the relationship forward, whereas right now, it'll stagnate. Because she won't ever be able to see you. And I know deep down in your subconscious, that possibly sounds really safe to you, and in case that is what you're feeling, I have to tell you, that is a most dangerous feeling. It can make people do very hurtful things.

I see a lot of people talking about "not being a lesbian". Why are you all putting labels on yourselves? Just because you like this girl doesn't mean your gay. You should tell her the truth, and yes it is going to be hard. If she honestly cares about you (like she says she does) and you care about her, things could possibly work out. Just a little advice, I believe its possible to fall in love with anyone, gender has nothing to do with love.

1 More Response

I've been doing this for a long long time now.
I have so many online identities that are boys, and it's getting harder and harder to keep up with them.

I've made the greatest friend ever as a guy, and I really liked him... Like, like-liked him... So I had to make a girl identity just to ask him out, I was so happy when he said yes.

Now I feel sick to my stomach thinking about telling him the truth... We've just been friends for so long and I don't know what I'd do if he hated me...

I wish I was one of those people who can tell the truth and get over it, but I'm not.
I've lost friends because of this, I've even accidentally posted something on another chat window that I as a boy would say, my friend had nothing to say and I had to think up an excuse quick.

I don't regret pretending to be a guy, cause I met my best friend. I only regret not telling him sooner who I really was.... And now there's no way I can tell him. He'll think of me as some freak.

Hey, sweety. I'm sorry to tell you this, but the pain you're feeling won't stop until you stop this. You need to figure out how to stop it, and stop it. Would you like horrible pain for the rest of your life, or just a moment of agony and then it's over? If you can't get over it afterwards, it won't be as much pain as what's happening now. It's like a shot, or a bandaid. It hurts, but it needs to be done.

I have been doing the same thing since i was 9. I quit and deleted all my profiles when I was 15, because my online friends were fed up with me being always vague about calling and skyping.

So when I was 17, I got extremely busy with school and piano practice. I was so busy, that I had lost a big amount of friends and I started to prank people from an online chatsite. My profile was a guy, because i thought it would be easier to be a random pranking guy than a weirdo girl pranking on people.

But then I met this amazing girl, and we felt so connected from the start. We've been in a "relationship" for 9 months now. And I really feel like i need to come clean or stop this, even though it will kill both of us. I am not lesbian, but I did fall in love with this girl.

I am so extremely embarrassed to come clean to her, and I don't know if i am able to. I am so afraid that I will hurt her so much. She's extremely sensitive and someone else did this to her before.

I know it is really stupid and dumb of me, but it was just a joke and it lead to something really big :( It felt really awkward saying immediately "yeah so hey im not actually a guy, bye" I just thought we would talk less eventually like I do with most people.

I know exactly how you feel :( The connection is soooo powerful.

I was doing the exact same thing, and it all started in 2010 and lasted until today. I'm 12 right now and I still use guys sometimes on this virtual world called Habbo Hotel. <br />
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My first account was a girl and I got used to using her for a good 3 months or so. But one day I decided it would be funny to pretend to be a guy and trick girls into thinking I was actually a guy. Unfortunately, it got out of hand until I realized how fun it was to be the perfect, funny guy that all the girls loved. Ever since I was 5, I thought that I was a lesbian because I wanted to be a boy and have girlfriends. My mom used to be like that, so I know it's genetic, but she's now married to my dad and has 3 kids. The online thing though, started to get out of control each day when I actually got into romantic relationships with girls. I cannot tell you how many fake accounts I made. I just loved being the perfect guy. At one point, one of my 'girlfriends' asked if we could webcam and I kept making up excuses and she seemed suspicious. I've broken up a lot of time with my 'girlfriends' because I feel guilty and think that this is all wrong. <br />
<br />
A few months ago, I thought of the perfect idea. I found a British social website called and made a fake account there. Some of the girls found out I was stealing pictures, but most of them believed me. I also made a Kik Messaging account and made more and more each day. <br />
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Then my brother caught me doing this and told my mom and she yelled at me like you cannot believe. I felt terrible for being so creepy and being a liar, so I stopped with the thing. I still continued using Kik Messenger and Habbo Hotel though. To this day, I still pretend to be somebody else I'm not. I read some of the stories on here and just fell down to my knees crying. I just feel so ashamed about all this.

Okay, sweetie, take a deep breath. You need to go and tell somebody you're doing this. You should not have been allowed to make accounts when you were 5 in any case. If you don't feel like you can tell your mum, go and tell a school councilor, or somebody. Because you're 12, and you don't know who you are yet. You're just making some bad descisions, darling. But it needs to stop now. It should have stopped when your mum found out. Because it's not about you lying and being creepy, it's about you hurting others.

If you are only pretending to be a boy online, but are not in anything romantic, that means it hasn't gone far. That's not so bad. It may be you're experimenting, or transgender.

If it has gone further, at all, it needs to stop right now. Because that's not being a creepy liar, that's hurting someone else. Take the shame you're feeling, and imagine that is how someone else will feel when you do this thing.

That's what makes pretending to be someone you're not online bad. The hurting other people.

So go get some help, sweety, please? I know you're really brave, and I know you can do this. Heck, you were good enough to be a boy online, you're clever enough to do this. All the best.

It's been almost 2 years since I posted this thread... wow, and to think I still go around catfishing people. Anyways, RollingFish, thanks for your reply. Just so you know, I am now 13, turning 14 in a month, and even if it may seem hard to believe, I've revealed my true identity on Habbo Hotel and Kik. It was difficult yes, but reading your response made it so much easier. I realized that it had to be sooner or later, but I could ruin people's lives whom I've lied to. I figured it was for the best telling all the girls I fell in love with at the time of my catfishing. Speaking of which, it was heartbreaking to reveal myself to a girl I've fallen in love with just recently. But acceptance made me realize that this is all just a phase. I'm not really attracted to girls, I'm attracted to attention.

Granted, I thank you for your advice, and I will absolutely get help about this.

BTW you mentioned that it's not right to create accounts when I was five, but just to correct you, at age five I began to question my sexuality. When I was 10, I started to make fake male accounts. Sorry for the confusion, haha (:

I too did the same thing.. I feel really bad about it, again it started when I was young and I couldn't stop. The girl I was 'with' left the site and we had to text and email.. And she ended it a while back well just disappeared and I miss speaking to her.. I don't know what to do

I'm having the same problem now, but not with romantic relationships. I just have really close friends who write stories on a website like I do, and I love talking to them but I can't reveal anything to them. I feel like I've given them a few hints about the truth, but they haven't confronted me about it or anything. I tried my best to avoid lying about any part of my identity besides my gender, but that's been difficult as people start to want to know more about you, what you look like, etc. I tried to be as anonymous as possible in order to accomplish this. However, two of my older online friends found out the truth...only, it was rather early on and they weren't angry about it or anything. I explained things to them, and they promised to keep my identity a secret. They didn't even urge me to tell the truth!

Thing is I want to get out of this and while I regret lying to them and feeling this guilt, I had so much fun being a guy and being as unrestrained as I wanted. As a girl, I wouldn't be as comfortable using my real identity to joke around with strangers the way I want to. I became almost more like myself when i created this cool, funny male alter ego.

Also, when I began this, part of the reason was so I could detach my writer's identity from my real identity, and changing my gender was a good way to do that.

I want to tell my friends the truth before things get any bigger and people get hurt, but I don't want to ruin what I have now. I don't want to be rejected and hated, and surprisingly, I don't want to lose this part of myself that's almost as important to me as my real self. This has been going on since May, and I'm fourteen.

Thanks for sharing your stories, everyone. It helps to know there're people out there with the same problem.

That must feel awful, I know Heaven2.I had a crush on someone for years that ended up being a female, but she eventually told me later and honestly I'm fine with it. I met her on a game and she is still the same person to me. But then again i'm attracted to both genders so I see no difference.I even pretended to be a male online, (through a game) but i've never ever tried to be romantic with anyone. People would flirt with me and stuff, but i'm a bit of a douche and a smartass so I come off as a guy easily online. I usually play male characters too. Sometimes I wish I could be that person because I kind of envy males for their strength and power because I am an ectomorph body type female.. what more can I say ugh. But online in a game I can be this really strong guy and beat up people :D

I am on the other end of the spectrum. I was the one being catfished. I dated a guy online for two years and we fell deeply in love. And one day I stumbled upon some things that suggested he wasn't who he said he was. He was stilling photos from someone else. So when I further investigated, I decided to confront him about it. I asked him via AIM and he signed off without responding and deleted me from his profile and all his friends, so that means he must have been controlling these 'friends' profiles... It's been 4 years since he walked out of my life. I still have zero explanation of what happened and who I was really talking too. There's not a day that goes by where I don't wonder. All I want is some closure. So if you have ever lied about your identity to someone online whom you cared about. Go confess, it's more heart breaking for me that I will never know this person I was so in love with.

I have done this for years. Am I nuts?

I've done it for several years too, and I don't know if I'm nuts either...

...I have been doing the exact same thing for a very long time, it started when I was 14 or 15. I still do it, after so many years, it's as if I just couldn't stop. As some have said it's an "obsession" an obsession, which I just don't seem to be able to stop. It's starting to kill me... It just hurts so badly to have to pretend to be someone that I'm not... I just wish that I could talk to someone that either, is going through the same thing as I am or that did it some time ago & was able to get past it. It just hurts so much... :(

I know how you feel, 5 months ago, I was pretending to be this absolute perfect funny guy online which all the girls loved. I even made guy friends and basically became one of them. So I know how hard it is to just STOP. I was in a relationship with a girl too, and we were like..perfect. But I finally came to my senses when I stumbled in this little thread or whatever, people sharing their stories and how their online friends found out the truth, then ended miserably. I didn't want the same fate for me. So, I had to face reality. I was giving the girl I was with false hope, and stopping her from finding true love. And also lying to my online friends. Lying, its so stressful, its constantly in the back of your mind . It EATS you. Making fake accounts, getting fake pictures. Too much.

What you should do, is leave, just leave. What I did was sent them all a quick goodbye message, and left. I sent my "girlfriend" that too. Trust me, its hard. The
First week, you're gonna be tempted anc your heart will feel like its dying. You will probably cry the first couple of nights. Get through it. Don't ever visit that website that brings back those memories, and go to another one, AS A GIRL. I can't do anything for you, only tell you this. The rest is up to you. Stop before you hurt your friends and yourself. Be strong buddy.

I also pretended to be this amazingly awesome, funny, nice guy that all the girls loved, having also guy friends and yeah... It's as if I was just one of the guys. I don't exactly know how I'll ever be able to stop... The worst part is that I have been doing it for so freaking long, that it's as if it was a part of my daily life. I have been in several "online relationships" ones I actually thought they were perfect as well, others... I didn't. I'm sure that I have hurt tons of people, but I don't think I'm a bad person, I mean... I've been hurt too, I'm human after all. Nobody has ever found out the truth about me, just a couple might have suspected things, but they ended up believing me... I gave quite a few people false hope and to be honest with some people that I dated while being that oh-so perfect guy, I somehow wished I could be a real guy and even meet them, but that won't ever happen, that's what hurts me at times. Yes, it's extremely stressful and depressing... It's way too much, I don't even know how to get out of this mess!
I have left people that I dated and I still think of some of them... Most of them, I don't have feelings for them anymore, but like... The last girl that I dated, I left that site about... Since August? and I still think about her, even though it was terrible.. but still. It's been 4 months? and I am still tempted to go back, I even said good-bye and everything, I didn't tell my friends there the truth, I just said bye &amp; that I was quitting... I still feel as if my heart was dying... I don't seem to be able to go at sites as a girl because I'm so used to pretending to be a guy, I just don't see myself doing it... This is the ONLY site that I actually haven't lied about myself. I have hurt people already and mostly myself. I don't know how to stop...

You can talk to me.. I'm hurting everyday

I started pretending when I was 19 & I'm 30 now. I confessed to my 1st online gf & felt just as long as I didn't havev anymore girlfriends I would be fine, Boy was I WRONG!!!! I am a big female & always enjoyed the attention but always had an excuses to why I couldn't be involved even making up that I got married, but this did not stop this one person. Behave been friends since she was 16 & she has been in full pursuit from day 1. I always hoped her having a bf & now being engaged would change things but she tells me all the time if I say the word she will give the ring bk. I let my guard down with her 2 yrs ago when my mom died & she was there. I encourage her to get married b/c I am married. I have tried several times to break up with her but she is unable 2 function & has threatened to hurt herself. I have thought of telling her but fear this will destroy her life so considered telling her me& wife want to grow & she needs to focus on her fiancee. She has always wanted to get married been engaged since January 2012 , but haven't madevany plans because she is not happy. I have wished so hard I could be the person she has fallen in love with & starting to hate myself daily for lying to her & making her fall in love with a horrible person like me. I do love her hence y I know I have to let her know. She is not bi & would never let her have to chose that path b/c that is not an easy road either. I feel if I tell her truth I will destoy her & if I break up with her she will never love her husband as she should b/c she will always wonder about us. I mean she is only getting married b/c I said I can't & she is banking on me to get divorce soon & she will leave her husband it's like she is my puppet & so crazy b/c she is so strong & nothing like this with & I try to encourage her not to be this way with me. I'm not sure what to do but I feel that I will end this soon, besides I can bare the fact of her being with her fiancee makes me soooooooo angry I won't even let her sleep with him yes that's my selfishness coming out. I'm such a horrible person @ times I try to imagine my life without her & I become so depressed but it's my fault so I have to suffer what is to come, I just pray God give me strength. Oh yeah I've been praying a lot this when I really started to want to change and I know He is the only one that can help me thru. This will be my 2nd & last no way I can put myself let alone someone else thru this.

You are a really horrible person. =o

i know how you feel. i do the same thing. it makes me feel so guilty and stressed out. i have been talking to this girl online, i never told her my gender but i think she thought i was a guy from the start, by the things she said. so when she asked if i was a guy i said yes. i haven't lied to her about myself. just that i'm a guy when in fact i'm a girl. i really like her and i flirt all the time. i think i'm confused, because i don't know weather i like girls or guys but i like the attention. i think i like them both but i'm not sure. i feel so bad. i get so angry at myself sometimes that i just cry but i cant tell anyone. i get depressed and sometimes i cant keep up with my normal life because i keep thinking about her. do you think i need help or something? i just don't know what to do. :(

Omg I'm the same exact way I thought I was the only one!!

i can relate to you all.i tried before justifying my actions but in the end it is still wrong . any one here wants to have a therapy group online?im just here i want to talk to you all ^^.

i feel the same way and i have done that too so hard to overcome but you really have to try to change the way you think and do things to be busy

This is crazy to see how many people are going through the same thing as me, it's not that we try to harm anyone it jut happens you start to believe our own lies and dot realize it intill it's to late for both you and the person your lying to. When you talk to them you take on the character and believe it. I want to stop but it's hard.

My friends, I relate to this somewhat, although I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend online. That's wrong and needs to stop. However, I am transgender, and for a long time I was lying to myself.<br />
<br />
It always started off as a relationship where I didn't disclose my gender. But then the question would always come up. I would put it off for a as long as possible, make a joke out of it. But finally it would come up. Every. Single. Time. I would tell myself no, this time I'm going to say what my birth gender is. I managed to do it only once, and it lead to the eventual demise of the friendship. So every time after that I would end up blurting the other, the gender I want to be. I would feel so much relief, and felt I could be myself.<br />
<br />
Think about the characters you've made up, and then think about performing them in your real life. That's how I felt.<br />
<br />
But then, slowly, my online persona would become a character in and of itself. I would do weird things to maintain it, although not much *taps noggin'* I'm not afraid to say I'm a bit savvy like that. I would feel utterly guilty and horrible, even though I wasn't romancing these people and they were my best friends. Are my best friends.<br />
<br />
I would feel utterly terrible watching this person that would unfold out of me and realising I could never, ever be that.<br />
<br />
But I never romanced them. Never. It would have been wrong of me.<br />
<br />
A perona online is different than breaking someone's heart. I feel for you, honestly, I do, but this aspect needs to stop. I know you must feel so ashamed, and I'm here for you, I truly am.<br />
<br />
But please, you need to go and find someone safe where you can get help.<br />
<br />
If you have feelings of transgenderism also, I can help further. But the romancing needs to stop. It shouldn't have a place online anyway.<br />
<br />
Just as you'd go to a doctor if your leg fell off, you do something with addictive behaviour. And your behaviour is addictive. And addictions, no matter what they are, are bad for you. And in this case, bad for whoever it is you're breaking. You need to do this. For yourself as much as the friends that love you. Go please. You'll feel so much better.

Yes, you do need help indeed. You ******* ****. A person like you ruined my life. It went on for years and I'm not too proud to say it but I was a child when we met. Get your **** together or it will eventually come back and bite you in the ***. It's not fair for these people to waste their time being fooled because of your ******* issues as a human being. Deal with them as yourself.

I can relate to everyone all too much. Someone please message me, I've /never/ spoken of this before to anyone whatsoever, and frankly it's 4am and sitting here and pouring my heart out tonight in the form of a story is not my intent. But I think I seriously need some help, this has been going on for too long.


hello im here if you want to talk i also had done this things

Wow I really genuinely feels sorry for you in a way, because we all do things that we don't realize can get very intense. On the other hand I feel so bad for the people you have lied to, who have become attached to these fake personas you created. Yeah a part of me feels angry towards what you have done, but we all do bad things. The good news is you can make the choice to change it all. I hope that if you have not already that you find the strength to confess to the people you have impacted.

You all are sick human beings. I don't know how you sleep at night. The world would be a better place without your deceit and corruption. Stop justifying your actions and seek help. You can and never will be happy if you believe, in some messed up part of your mind, that this is forgivable. You're selfish and that's why you do this. Wake up. Stop robbing these people of their innocence. I want to believe in good people and you make it very, very hard.

ive done the same thingg like i realate to you 100% same age same everything

If anyone needs to talk, feel free to message me

I have done and been through the same thing. I fell in love with someone who didn't know the real me. I come clean to her sister today. What you girls have to understand is that it isn't just about YOURSELF. Honestly, coming out bisexual and coming out clean all in one weekend has made me so much happier, but you still feel the guilt and hate yourself for it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, you can do this, even if it means cutting all ties. Think of their feelings, if you love them, if you care about these people then STOP. It will be the best decision of your life.

Has anyone realized a pattern here? The internet is an illusion, it's not real life, so realize if your pretending to be a character, you're just bored and protecting yourself. Imagine all of the other people pretending to be characters to that you dont about. I think anyone that exposes their real self on the internet is dumb because no one really knows who's fake and who's real. I have ran into many fake profiles on the internet and I even flirted with a couple without knowing they we're fake. I think people shouldn't take the internet so seriously. Sometime when you pretend to be a character, you are not only helping yourself get through hard times but it might make it easier for you to get personal situations off your chest while you still remain anonymous, also in the process you might be helping someone else overcome something in their lives. You might even save someone from suicide by helping them w/ problems while you overcome you're need to be a different character. <br />
<br />
Sometime when people pretend to be different ppl online, they dont realize what they are doing for a while because they think it's not serious but when you become aware it feel like your doing the worst thing in the world but seriously you are not. It's the internet, in all honesty no one really know who were talking to, if that person is being truth, what they person's background holds. I dont have internet romances and I never fell for anyone online but i think ppl who pretend to be someone else just have an expanded imagination. there are much worse things people do. The internet is full crazy, sick, broken, lying, cheating people that where masks, so tbh, dont trust anyone on the internet even your internet lovers. they are all liars if they say aren't.

Im in the same situation :/ last year i made a fake fb account of this guy from my school. I met a girl (denise)!and we hit it off but in january from this year the guy from my school msg on my real fb acc. And it was horrible :/ i lost few people but some stay friends with me. I deleted the account but after a month, Stupid me, made another guy fb acc -.- i made a guy acc from a friend who really doesnt know and I been with this girl for nearly 4 months. Im straight but I starting to like her. Heres worse, my 'ex gf' Denise found out Im fake by hacking the guy im being him. But she didnt know its me but i been thinking I could come clean. Im scared if i lose all my friends and gf on my new guy fb acc. :(

Wow! i honestly thought i was the only creeper in town to do this! mine was on the and it started in 2007 and it was off and on until 2010. it started by me making my little brother an account and talking to girls for him but he never got on and one day i just pretended to be him and it just took off from there. i made two accounts one bboyfresh (khalil) who was a black boy/ break dancer and that one was EXTEMALY popular. he had a girlfriend for about 2 weeks but i just broke up with her and told her i didnt wanna be with anybody. i didnt want to hurt the poor girls feelings THANK GOD i didnt get to attached to her but i even had a best friend named chanelle i used to talk to her everyday. but in the mist of everything i felt terrible so i would leave the site, come back two moths later,..then leave again. finally i felt so horrible about it i confessed to everyone and she got PISSED cause she really trusted me. but i moved on. <br />
<br />
<br />
THEN. <br />
i got bored cause my fake life was gone and i still didnt have any friends or relationships so i got a new character called caliboy101 (derek) who was a white kid/ surfer. lonely and depressed and bored i didnt know what else to do. and ALL of these girls loved me because i was the perfect guy! that got boring so i quit.<br />
<br />
I had a few fake girl profiles as well. (its weird that people were MORE suspicious of these rather than the boy ones) there was brook, a hot blonde/cheerleader and there was jennifer milestone a crazy rocker chick who i actually wrote her life into a story. <br />
<br />
i quit everything after a while because i was in the 11th grade, i had a boyfriend, and i had made friends for the first time in my life! i stopped all the fakeness for about 2 years...i went off to college and had tons to do! boyfriends friends etc. <br />
<br />
but recently my boyfriend broke up with me...its summer and im lonely heartbroken and bored so i decided to dive back into the fake profiles. IT DIDNT WORK THIS TIME. i dont think i have the patience to do it anymore because people dont like my "characters" and when i try to get a boyfriend/girlfriend people say im moving too fast. and that they dont even know me that well. <br />
<br />
SO ALL IN ALL, YOU ARE DOING THIS BECAUSE YOU ARE LONELY..and i dont think its right AT ALL. even though you meet these people online THEY ARE STILL PEOPLE. and its not right to lie to them! learn how to be alone or get a hobby, a job OR join a club. get a REAL LIFE. because being able to touch and talk to people that u like IS SO MUCH MORE FUN then typing at a computer screen.

Well... I have fourteen, I'm in the exactly same situation as you... And sometimes, some of my characters, that's what I call them, get really deep in with other people, and when I pretend to be them, I feel everything they feel. That now has the name of roleplaying. x) And so... when I see that I'm getting obsessive, I cut bonds with everyone, telling them the truth. And I let the character disappear. And then it is just me... and the bond I had with them is gone.... But it's good to know that I'm not the only one in this situation :D

Im sorry i realise this is a support group.. i just hate watching my friend believe something that i discovered on my own is a huge messed up LIE

This is what you call pathetic people..


Wow, well this is a shock. I am a male who pretends to be a female online. It started my when i was in highschool. At first i thought it might mean i was bixsexual but i noticed i didn't love any men but i did love women. I eventually figured out that it was the fact that i wanted to be a sexy woman that drew me to this lifestyle. It first just started out as me play female characters in video games, than it escalated to me lying to people that i was actually female. I didn't care if what they thought of a male gamer playing female characters, but the attention i got for being a female was enjoyable.<br />
<br />
Its hard to explain. All my life i have always been (and forced to be) an independent person. I always thought merit should only matter, always thought that strength was the most important thing. Even now i still do. And yet the lfiestyle of a pretty girl born in a good family with nothing to worry about but flirting and such attracts me so. And i have no idea why? Women will probably hate me for this but there is something enjoyable about not being expected to always take up responsiblity. Leaving it to other people hands. Even being looked at as a highly desired sex ob<x>ject is fun. Having people pay attention to you, be overly kind and friendly, it's extremely enjoyable.<br />
<br />
I am not naive, i know the above thigns are wrong and not every womens life is like that. But i want that life some reason at this moment. Almost everyday i talk to people in online games or chat rooms, using a voice changer to pretend to be a woman. Of course the voice changer isn't perfect but it gets the job done. However i feel like my life is falling apart. That i am split between 2 people. I already know that this can't end well....and yet i am still compelled to do it. Never in my entire life have i been so addicted to a behavior.<br />
<br />
The worst part is always hiding the fact. Its really what is eating me up. I have to hide it from my roommates, have to hide it to the people im tricking online who i actually care about. However i cant hide it from myself, why do i want something so bad that i can never have.

Haha I hope you all are a community that picks up each other and you're all being fake as **** to make yourselves feel better ... using other fake people with fake opinions. Get a gym membership and start to feel better about yourselves. I hope you get to feel some real highs while being yourselves.

Okay, I had no idea this was even real... Until it happened to me. I fell in love with a person over online. Yeah usually I don't trust people on the internet but I have had a long distance relationship with someone before that for 3 year and it was good. Anyway I completely trusted this person and everything sending me pictures of the guy I have always dreamed of and on the plus side they said everything right. Also this person made me think the reason they didn't want to go on web cam was because 'I needed to really trust them and believe that they were truthful'... I talked on the phone with this person for hours, even slept on the phone. Bought this person things and shared very personal things with them. The stupid mistake this person made, I would still be with them if I hadn't figured this out, I found one of the ex's he had on facebook. I contacted her and she finally told me the truth about him. Finding out he was a girl and not a guy was a heart stopper. I cried for how much I was going to miss talking to this person, for feeling so stupid for sharing so much with that person, for being LIED too, and I even felt bad for all the other girls that girl was messing with and the ex girlfriend dated that person she thought was a guy for 4 years before me! How could someone be so evil in making such cleaver lies? Is it THAT BAD to be yourself? You know how much you can mess up the people around you or hurt them so badly? .... In the end after I confronted my 'boyfriend' they never said one word to me. But their friend did which I was guessing was her brother just a whole messed up family who lied to me. He said that I was just entertainment and they laughed at everything I have ever said to my 'boyfriend', calling me stupid and ugly and many other mean things that are hurtful and so embarrassing to me. Meaning please do not, DO NOT do that to anyone. It's okay to have friends but love and emotions come at a whole different level. Love is something that you should NOT be messing around with seriously, maybe the people doing it should have a taste of their own medicine then see how they like finding that kind of thing out. ): Lying gets you no where in life. And being yourself no matter how bad it gets their is people way worse off. Ever heard of YOLO--- You Only Live ONCE.

Hey I shared my story a year ago. I am still pretending to be a boy online. If anyone wants to talk more about it please inbox me! I'd like to share with others and hear from other girls who do the same thing.

Oh well. screw it all. idgaf anymore. its not like its the end of the world. and what goes around comes around.

if you dont want to get disapointed by love online, just dont do it. online its best to just be friends. at most have a platonic relationship, but never, NEVER expect what is given to you. <br />
<br />
--<br />
If your going to date online:<br />
dont expect it to be perfect. <br />
&<br />
dont do stupid things if it doesnt go as you had hoped.<br />
<br />
and remember:<br />
the online world<br />
belongs to those who try and be something they arnt. they do it in videogames all the time, so why cant they do it on facebook and twitter, tumblr and more?<br />
<br />
you might not think its right<br />
but thats only becuase you dont do it<br />
and your upset with them when you find out.<br />
<br />
and also for you romantics:<br />
love isnt everything<br />
it doesnt get you much more than what you can get on your own<br />
stop lieing to yourself by thinking you NEED a partner. <br />
stop rushing things, the perfect partner WILL come, i promise. just...<br />
<br />
love is like a cat.<br />
when your looking for it, it doesnt normally like you to well when you find it, and it may scratch and fuss at you, just like love can have a bad crash when the break up comes.<br />
<br />
but if you dont look for it like a despret old fool looking for their kitty, <br />
it will come purring and loving to you.<br />
you may not expect it<br />
and it may confuse you<br />
or even startle you at first<br />
but love that is not chased<br />
is usually the best their is.<br />
<br />
so dont get mad at us, when you discover the truth. just accept us for what we do, even keep us around as platonic partners, or at the very minimual friends. <br />
<br />
becuase the same way it hurts you to find out we arnt who we say we are, it hurts us that you hate us and leave us to never speak again.

did you not read all the other stories? They are not intentionally trying to make you feel bad or hurt you... they do not realise the damage they have done until it has been done. They honestly feel guilt and cannot change it. So don't talk as if you think they are trying to purposely hurt you, ruin your love life.

Yeah well let's see you talk when it happens to you. And Yeah I did read other stories it's still not right though like it's so obvious it's going to hurt the person they are LYING to. First of all love is hard to find and if you feel it with someone to find out they were lying about everything maybe their whole life, and especially their gender. Why would anyone do that its a waste of their life because in the end they know they will probably end up leaving that girl or hurting that person anyway. So really these people are intentionally trying to hurt us. Its a whole different story if its just friends or if its just a silly little infatuation, but love is not a good thing to be messed with. damn straight.

So I found out my boyfriend of a year was actually his little sister and wasn't a real person. I wasted a part of my life rejecting guys because I taught he was real. Its like someone you love so much died. Please stop , because after what happened I don't believe in such things as love.You guys are basically destroying a part of a person. When I found out that my boyfriend of a year and 4 months wasn't real its like she ctook a part of me away. we met trough a game but when we started dating we only texted. You guys should care about others not just yourself. Use Sims and create characters there at least you won't be hurting real people.

Ok so reading this all... it makes me really want to cry. Not because I pity myself or feel like I've been wronged but because... I'm so so so ashamed. It's like this heavy weight that drops down on you and you feel the stress to lie. I don't know, am I addicted to lying? It's not like i had a ****** life or anything, I'm perfectly normal but like... I crave something more exciting and for some time I'm really happy with it but then I realize... things will never be reality. <br />
I really hate myself for lying, but I have no problem telling the truth but... I crave fantasy and I live in it. God sakes I can't even face the freaking reality. I'm a girl pretending to be a dude online and... I recognize myself in all of you. you really start caring for that person... and it's totally weird cause I'm like straight. I shouldn't do this, I shouldn't be falling for a girl. But I'm in character... and it's suffocating. We've been together for nearly 6 months now... and I don't want to hurt her but at the same time I can't let her go. I don't know if it's true but it seems like she's mentally unstable and I'm scared that if I tell her she'll really go crazy and harm herself. I don't want to be a murderer. She mentioned us seeing each other yesterday ... but i can't, and I know that damn well. The love feeling just vanished after she said that, because... now, I'm stuck. She's probably well telling the truth and me? I'm just the prince on the white horse that doesn't actually exist. I just wanted to make her happy, to be the dream guy we always want. But I'm not that person. All my jokes and my personality are in there, but my name... everything is a lie. Only my character isn't. <br />
I don't want pity, and I don't mind being shunned etc. Because I understand, and I'll probably get it done to me when I grow older cause what goes around comes around. And I'll accept it, because I deserve it. I'm not trying to win my side onto your good page or anything, but I really do deserve whatever **** comes my way in the future. I can't tell her, but I have to...somehow. I don't know how. I know it's absolutely pathetic.. but I really really need help x - x My question is: How should I act now? Tell her the truth? And if so, how the hell do I tell her the truth? Or just break up and quit? Then I'll probably just feel guilty for the rest of my life. Jezus crap, I really really want to turn back time. I feel so disgusting.

Yo Julz, so its me...and I guess this isthe only way to contact you. I just wanted to let you know, no hard feelings. Yeah, I'm still in love with that guy. He was my life and I can't believe he's gone. There's a part of me thats in denial, thats refusing to let him go, but imma be fine. Mentally unstable xDD thats a good way to put it. I promise, for his sake, I'm not gonna hurt myself. Somehow, I still wanna stay in contact, but thats probably not a god idea for either of us x - x I dunno, thoughts? I cherished our time together and I miss you (him?) I'll remember our jokes with fondness, an even though it'll hurt getting over you, hopefully one day I''ll laugh about the time I dated a straight chick. Love yuh, take care

Hmm what can i say, my boyfriend might be a girl pretending to be a guy :| you have to stop this, i know how it feels to love someone and then find out or even be suspicious about he being a she. It hurts like hell and you also feel like an idiot for actually believing that person.

Omg I'm going through this experience right now. I have no idea how to stop. I am a boy pretending to be a girl. Idk why I do it. I just get all this attention, and I love it. I know it's so wrong but I continue to do it. How do I stop?! I must. I make all these fake facebooks and pretend to be something I'm not. I felt straight when I started but I'm beginning to feel as if I am bisexual. I have no idea. All this just gives me a headache and is also very stressful. I wish I can be the person im pretending to be. Just all these talks I have with all these straight guys is so interesting and alluring. But I know this could go the wrong if I was a sex offender or something. I just can't stop. Help:P

So is it better to confess or to not confess? honestly Im sick to my stomach everyday I hate lying to this person because she is so ******* amazing and deserves every good thing possible. I've been researching why specifically i do this and basically i have attachment issues and because of these when i was face with problems in my real life and no one was there to help me deal with them i found my own way of coping which consisted of going into a fantasy world i created. it my way and probably a lot of your alls way of escaping your real life when its not going good. but once it starts to get better we quickly wanna retract from the fantasy life. We seriously do need therapy to figure out healthy ways to handle reality that don't hurt other people. I have never wanted to confess before but i really think i am going to but i know either way i have epically hurt this person and i feel so ******* horrible. if she happens to read this or anyone else we do realize our actions and how horrible they are and i am so sorry to those who have been hurt. I know alot of you are say you wasted years and the embarrassment to real friends but was it really wasted? You had someone loving you because of who you were yes they weren't real in the physical sense but every emotion you felt and we have felt was real. The only thing Ive lied about is my physical appearance every other part of me was real from my past to my family everything and you who are the girlfriends/boyfriends we are loving you because of who you are. You are amazing and we are the ****** up ones if anything you are helping us realize we need help because there are so many amazing people who inspire us. Im not trying to justify the fact that it is still wrong but there is really so much good that can come out of this instead of the whole victimization process. <br />
Honestly I feel bad that the people we lie to don't realize how amazing they are before they meet us because you all are. thats the only reason we continue lying to you and do not break up or break your heart. because you cause us to fall in love with you I have yet to meet someone that doesn't make me feel or them I swear i start off talking as friends all the time and they just keep showing me how amazing they are and I fall before they ever do. im completely straight but im addicted to escaping my reality and I wish had been myself physically with half of these people I met because they are amazing. <br />
and to the one Im hurting when you read this i am beyond sorry and ashamed for what I have done. But you are in fact one of the most amazing people i have ever met and you changed me and helped me through so much **** in my life i will never hurt anyone again for as long as I live the way i hurt and lied to you. I wish we could be friends because you're just that ******* amazing I would love to chill and hang out with you. Someone will love you for you someday and Im sorry i am not that persona and can never be and that i lied and was that person for awhile to you. If anything you stopped me from killing myself, you gave me purpose and direction and answers i so badly needed and what I did for you was I was there through everything, i did help you trough things and for one whole year you were happier then you'd ever been, your relationships with people who meant the most to you, before me, improved dramatically. To all those who have been hurt you are not the ****** up ones or psychotic and you should not feel that way. We are ****** up and the fact that we confess or disappear means you showed us we needed help and if anything you received unconditional real love from us and in return changed us in ways unexplainable. I don't regret anything ive done except the fact that i was not honest about my name, sex, physical appearance, and some loopholes in my past.

Wow, this is incredible to read all these stories. Ive had the same experience, felt the same feelings and really been tourmented over it for such a long time. Ill paint the picture...<br />
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Im 30, so when the internet became mainstream (I was about 15) it was a big deal. I was absolutely fascinated with how technology hooked us all together - I could chat to people in from other parts of the world. It was unreal.<br />
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By no means did I not have any friends, I was quite popular. I was, however, overweight and not terribly appealing to the opposite sex. I was the 'funny fat friend' who made people laugh and generally enjoyed being around. Ill admit, I had my issues - I grew up in a normal family, it was quite dysfunctional but what family isnt who's parents got married when they were young, broke and fiery. I guess you could say I didnt get much attention, from anyone. I struggled in alot of areas of my life but dealt with it through humour and trying to see the funny side of things. Anyway, Im getting off the beaten track...<br />
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Basically, one rainy night I was online surfing the net. Coming from a small country town that could only JUST recieve dial up internet back in 1998 the net was a novelty. One night I went to and entered the site with a fairly neutral username. It was something like abcd, or something just stupid as I was checking out the site. No intention to meet people or anything. Back then you could see peoples IP address and get an idea roughly of where they were from. I was looking at all the chatters to see this one person hinted at their nationality through their username. To me, looking at the IP address it didnt fit with the username. Thats where the initial point of contact happened! My god, life was never the same after that moment......If only I had of known.<br />
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I was 17 and working, almost 18 at the time. She was 17 and still at school. We started talking and hit it off. Ive never experienced a connection like it. Naturally conversation progressed, and we started asking personal questions - She asked for a name, and since I led her to believe I was a dude and gave her a dudes name. I told that first lie, so nothing but lies followed. Of course, I was being myself in the sense of sharing experiences, sense of humour, and all the kind words expressed. All of that really was me. After 8 months of chatting she began to push to talk on the phone - Things moved really slow back then, everyone was all creeped out about the internet and the people on it ect. I tried so many times to break if off because I knew what I was doing was morally wrong, I knew that she's such a beautiful person she deserves this kind of love with a person who actually exists. I didnt wish any harm upon her, but the more I tried to pull away the more it sucked me in. Eventually I gave in, I somehow managed to lower my voice and so the phone calls began. I didnt have a mobile, I spoke to her when I rang her from a phone box. I lived at home then, so I was worried if I was on the phone someone would yell out my name and Id be caught out, or she'd get ahold of my number and try and call only to realise that person your asking for doesnt live at this address. Photos of other people were used (my one good looking friend was the face of this alter-ago) and I never had a web cam back then. So much effort went into hiding who I really was...<br />
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Five years this went on for. We broke up on several occassions, I initiated them - Usually this would happen when she would push to see each other, to take things to the next level. Id freak out and tell her I wasnt ready for it, Id make up reasons why I wasnt emotionally ready for it, Id lie and say my dads sick, someone has passed away - You name it. And being the lovely person she was (and still is) She was always understanding. She put up with it for that long, in the hope that the guy she loved would eventually make the 6 hours journey to go see her. I wanted nothing more than to go over and pick up my woman, whisk her away and make her feel like the only woman in the world. I wouldve loved nothing more than to hold her, just touch her for one minute. But if she knew who I really was, she'd react with nothing but repulse and humiliation. We spoke of the future, we celebrated birthdays and anniversaries - I sent flowers, letters, cute gifts and tried my best to make her feel special and important, because she was. Eventually I pushed her away by being just awful to her, i broke it off and took the gutless approach even though I shouldve told her. Its been 8 years since we 'broke up' and I now live in the same city she does but with my current boyfriend. I still think of her daily and wished I did things differently, I still think of her as my first love. I dont consider myself gay as I am sexually attracted to males aswell, Im more gender neutral. Im attracted to the person..<br />
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Funny thing, during the 5 years she never spoke to my friends, family or anything. Yet never questioned me. The whole time she was kept tucked away from my real life, family and friends.<br />
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This woman changed me, helped me feel love. I felt loved and loved in return. It was a feeling better than any drug. In the beginning I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep. I was that madly inlove with her I couldnt see straight!<br />
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I hope that shes found happiness and isnt comparing what she thought we had to guys that come into her life. Because even though the love she felt was real, it was real. It was pure and unconditional, but everything that surrounded it wasnt. Had she of known who I really was in the beginning she wouldnt of fell inlove with me but then again, who would know? Im going to try and find this woman and tell her the truth, even if it is 8 years too late..

Did you ever find her? If you did how did it go?

This hits home for me, i pretended for a short while but nothing serious. i didn't get anyone seriously involved with the 'fake' me. I just thought the lies were unbearable... i'd hate to be lied to and so I couldn't let myself do it to others. My issue right now is that my best friend is trapped, it seems, in this lifestyle. She is pretending to be this really hot, popular guy with a past full of drama. See I went along with this for a while because I know she really hated her life (she didn't really have a great upbringing) and she was using it to escape. So i pretended to be relatives or friends in person. The thing is, It really bothers me that she can't get past this and stop letting it control her life. We used to talk about it a lot and she agree'd to me last year that she would stop in the December that just passed. She 'deleted' her facebook account and other online things as she told me and it was true, but i just recently realized she lied to me and brought them back up. What hurts me the most is that I was in love with this girl online and as this 'fake other man' she got that girl to fall in love with her. Now that girl only wants my friends "false male personality". She knew how i felt about this girl and knows now but is still stringing her along. I think it's out of pity... but you just don't do that to someone. I want to tell this girl so badly but if i do or do anything to jeopardise my friendship with her. we've been best friends for nearly a decade... I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also can't stand that she's lying to this girl... and to me now. It's been making me so angry but i can't do anything about it. I can't suck it up or let it out... She doesn't realize how much her lying is hurting her real friends around her... ):

This hits home for me, i pretended for a short while but nothing serious. i didn't get anyone seriously involved with the 'fake' me. I just thought the lies were unbearable... i'd hate to be lied to and so I couldn't let myself do it to others. My issue right now is that my best friend is trapped, it seems, in this lifestyle. She is pretending to be this really hot, popular guy with a past full of drama. See I went along with this for a while because I know she really hated her life (she didn't really have a great upbringing) and she was using it to escape. So i pretended to be relatives or friends in person. The thing is, It really bothers me that she can't get past this and stop letting it control her life. We used to talk about it a lot and she agree'd to me last year that she would stop in the December that just passed. She 'deleted' her facebook account and other online things as she told me and it was true, but i just recently realized she lied to me and brought them back up. What hurts me the most is that I was in love with this girl online and as this 'fake other man' she got that girl to fall in love with her. Now that girl only wants my friends "false male personality". She knew how i felt about this girl and knows now but is still stringing her along. I think it's out of pity... but you just don't do that to someone. I want to tell this girl so badly but if i do or do anything to jeopardise my friendship with her. we've been best friends for nearly a decade... I don't want to lose her as a friend but I also can't stand that she's lying to this girl... and to me now. It's been making me so angry but i can't do anything about it. I can't suck it up or let it out... She doesn't realize how much her lying is hurting her real friends around her... ):

It is most distressing to those on the receiving end, often who have their own issues (having formerly been abused) and the hope of real love can make them feel amazing. However think how much more negative and cynical and scared they feel when you will never meet or turn nasty when you ask for proof of who they are. Stop taking from people in life for personal selfish gain it is unfair and what goes around comes around. Plenty of people will talk to you as you and it is less stressful for you, fair on the person you are talking to, and fair on the persons whose pictures you haven't had to steal.

I really wish this sort of thing would have real attention brought to it. something beyond this forum. i also think those of you who have done this to an innocent person need to stop trying to find ways to legitimize or justify it. plain and simple.. you can not and will not ever hurt as badly as the person you did this to. you knew what you were doing the whole time. you kept someone else in the dark. you had the privilege of being conscious of the fact it would eventually end, was never a reality, and would never be a fruitful relationship. people like me, on the receiving end, were blind to it. manipulated, lied to, betrayed, and when reality sinks in, it is completely mortifying and devastating. if you want to help yourselves, try talking more often to people like us, and see the toll it took on our lives and emotions. when you can accept the reality of the hurt you caused us, then you can begin your healing process.

I just read all of these commments...and im brought to tears because im one of those girls who got lied to. I hadnt talked to thiis "guy" in like 3 years from online when "he" called me on the phone and we caught up. I fell in love. The girl was actually able to call me on the phone because she could change her voice to a guys voice. She had talked to all my friends and family as this guy. I had let her completely in, which i dont do. we talked about everything all the time and it was the most amazing relationship, but i always wondered why i could never fly down to "his" house or why "he" could never come to mine, we never webcammed bc "his" laptop was broken, and i wanted a picture for the background of my phone but was denied that also! After 8 months, i began my research and was devastated to learn the truth. I have a broken heart and a broken mind. I feel betrayed. I am still friends with her because i know she must have some reason for doing what she did, and i have told her things i have never told anyone before, so we decided to be really good friends. I miss the way it was before and sometimes wish we could go back in time, but im still humiliated and hurt. I want to help girls not do this and prevent other girls from getting hurt.

Same thing might happen to me, i talked to my "boyfriend" on the phone but his voice sounds like a girl's voice and im worried acutally terrified that he might be a girl pretending to be a guy. Why would someone hurt me like this or why would someone hurt anyone like this? "he" sent me pics with him but i have no idea if its him or if this "he" does even exist. Sometimes "he" uses words just like a girl would do and then corrects "himself", im so depressed..i cant even confront him because im scared that he might be a guy a real guy and i will mess the whole thing up or maybe he wont even tell me the truth and he will keep lieing to me. :(

I know what some people on here are thinking, that we're all just heartless monsters who do this to torture people. I read all of these and noticed that, you're such good people and you don't mean to cause any harm to anybody. You're just wanted to do it for the fun of being somebody different or hate your real life and wanted to live a different one. I've done it, and actually still continuing with this lie. But for the past couple months, there hasn't been a day that I haven't cried from all of this.<br />
@ElfenLiedIsEpic - I am doing the exact same thing you are almost. I've tried multiple times to get rid of the boy I created, his name is... well, let's call him Adam. <br />
Now. I've been faking as "Adam" for a year now. It was nice getting all this attention from girls and boys actually. I made my character Bisexual. I made a few friends, who are still quite close to me. One of them said he even went Bisexual for me. Now, I was in a chat room one day, and I knew my friends in real life played this game but I never thought they'd ever meet me. So I was just in a chat room, talking to people, and then both of them come in. Let's call them, Jessica and Alice. My heart started pounding, I was scared. I also have my own account that's my real self, not my fake one. So anyway's, they said Hi to me and I quickly typed Hi back.<br />
They kept talking to me and actually, I kept making things up as I went along and wrote them on Notepad so I wouldn't forget them. I actually made up my own story as they asked me questions about myself. Now I had three accounts on this game. One was fake, two were real. The first real one is for me and my online friends that I love. I didn't want my real friends to meet my online ones so hence, the two accounts.<br />
Anyway's, I was on my real account for my online friends and they were all with there boyfriends and I felt extremely lonely. So I thought, "Wow, maybe I should make my Adam and myself dated!" How stupid was I? I didn't know that if my computer crashed, both me and Adam would crash with it, at the same time. My friends got suspicious. I was so scared they were going to find out. I live in fear that somebody's going to find out or, my computers going to crash again and they will notice. I started adding on to the lie everyday. <br />
Now... it's almost 2012, almost been lying for a year to these people I love. My real life friends quit the game but the ones I love more are still on.<br />
Please, take my advice. Don't lie. You dig yourself into a deep, deep hole. There are only two ways out of the big lie. Tell the truth, the best way or, lie yourself out of it. Which is what I'm doing. I would hurt, so many people. I'd rather get out of it not hurting anybody then get out of it hurting everybody I ever loved. I wish I could turn back time to the day I made this account and punch myself in the face to wake me up to reality that this won't be fun in the future.<br />
Sure, I love being this guy, it's fun. But, is it fun knowing that everyday goes by, and you're thinking, "...This isn't me..." It may feel good to be loved but, they aren't loving you. If you put your real personality into the character, then yes, they're loving your personality, but they're not loving your real physical self.<br />
Don't lie about yourself. If only I didn't, I'd be saving so many peoples hearts from being broken...

I'm 17 and and I've been role playing gay males for years. It started as just fun but I eventually became addicted to having a separate life than my real one. <br />
This last time, I played a 19 year old gay male and I found a boyfriend to date and everything. I did love him, it was so wonderful to be close to someone. We dated for almost two years online and each month made me more nervous than the last. The closer we got, the more I wanted to just quit because I knew we could never actually be together. And I was becoming depressed and almost suicidal because I didn't want to be me anymore. I wanted to be the guy I was faking and I wanted the life I was pretending to have. But it could never happen. So I had finally ended it for sure a month or so ago, but we still talked. And I was still pretending to be a guy.<br />
Yesterday night I left my phone in the car of one of my closest friends. And while it was with him, my ex online boyfriend started texting it and calling me by my guy name and saying weird things that have to do with my online life. So my close friend read them all and actually texted him back trying to find out more weird ****. And when I found this out today, I almost died. My friend thinks exactly what's true and was questioning me a bunch about it. I was having a meltdown because I felt so ashamed and embarrassed because I didn't know how to explain myself so I told my ex exactly what was happening. I told him I was fake, my friend found out, and I was so scared. He was so kind and amazing and ended up texting my real friend and explaining everything for me. He told my friend we have weird nicknames, he was drunk, and just that I wasn't pretending to be a boy. I wanted to cry because he was so kind to do that after I have lied to him for over two ears. My friend is still kind of suspicious but he has accepted our explanation. <br />
My ex told me he was fake too and we have just decided to stay friends since we understand each others situation. I feel a million times better now that the truth is out. <br />
Faking someone else is not worth it. You feel depressed and low because you can never be who you want to. I just wasn't ever happy when I was faking because I didn't want to be the real me anymore. I'm hoping that now that I've let go of my fake self, I cant actually enjoy being the real me. Maybe my friend thinks I'm weird but it's taught me a lesson. I understand its fun for awhile, but please, everyone accept who you really are.

Wow. Google really does find just about anything. I wasn't the liar - I was the one who believed anything "he" told me. A women posing as a young male on a virtual chat site started talking to me when I was 14 years old. She had to of been in her mid/late twenties at the time. I am now nineteen and I found out who this person really was a year ago. And No, "he" didn't tell me. I figured It out on my own. Turns out "Kyle" was actually "Kelli". I knew of a Kelli when I was in a online relationship with this character.. It was his 31 year old Aunt that I was really talking to. How did I find out? Well, a lot of back round checks revealed a Kyle **** did not exist but a Kelli did. I searched more on her - because I knew she was real. The pieces just kind of fell into place after a while. When I confronted this person - they vanished. I don't know If you counted but It was about three years this person lied to me. I told this person things I didn't tell many people. I felt totally exposed...used and hurt. Reading all of your stories.. about how you created almost a second life..It get it but It makes me sick to my stomach. I know deep down you are good people but you aren't thinking about your actions. You aren't caring how they affect others.. or yourself - in the long run, anyway. It's like a high - you'll want more and more. I ended up contacting Kelli's family and I hope I scared the **** out of her..So- when she goes to repeat her mistakes..she thinks. You should all do the same before you get humiliated like I did her. Think about that.

Wow. Google really does find just about anything. I wasn't the liar - I was the one who believed anything "he" told me. A women posing as a young male on a virtual chat site started talking to me when I was 14 years old. She had to of been in her mid/late twenties at the time. I am now nineteen and I found out who this person really was a year ago. And No, "he" didn't tell me. I figured It out on my own. Turns out "Kyle" was actually "Kelli". I knew of a Kelli when I was in a online relationship with this character.. It was his 31 year old Aunt that I was really talking to. How did I find out? Well, a lot of back round checks revealed a Kyle **** did not exist but a Kelli did. I searched more on her - because I knew she was real. The pieces just kind of fell into place after a while. When I confronted this person - they vanished. I don't know If you counted but It was about three years this person lied to me. I told this person things I didn't tell many people. I felt totally exposed...used and hurt. Reading all of your stories.. about how you created almost a second life..It get it but It makes me sick to my stomach. I know deep down you are good people but you aren't thinking about your actions. You aren't caring how they affect others.. or yourself - in the long run, anyway. It's like a high - you'll want more and more. I ended up contacting Kelli's family and I hope I scared the **** out of her..So- when she goes to repeat her mistakes..she thinks. You should all do the same before you get humiliated like I did her. Think about that.

I'm the exact same. I was fed up with my real life, I felt so sad and lonely. I never went to school cause I'm an extremely sick person. No one really talked to me. I was just lonely. So, In February, I made up a boy on a game called IMVU. I thought it'd be fun to live like a dude character on there, and I've been playing IMVU for almost 2 years now, so I got bored of my girl character but still played on her. Anyway's, I was quite popular on my male character, because I made him extremely good looking, and I found a picture of a good looking guy that isn't popular at all so I used the pictures as to pose as my character. It was great, I got all this attention, and everybody just loved me. It's so weird how boy's get so much more attention. Because I basically put my personality into a guy. Maybe I attract girls even though I'm straight? I don't know. But, everything was good, but on my girl character I was all alone, I had friends, but they were all happy with there boyfriends on there and stuff. So I was thinking, "What if I make my guy character have a crush on my girl character?" But then I thought, "How would I make them be online at the same time?" So I went searching and found a program that lets me have two IMVU clients open. Which was pretty cool at first. So I introduced my guy character to my friends, and they all thought he looked cute on the game and real life. But I wasn't aware of that, when my laptop over heats, it shuts down so that means, both clients close at the same time. It happened about 4 times.<br />
My friends got a little suspicious over this. One of my friends were talking to me and they said, "Woah, I had the weirdest dream, that you, and your boyfriend, were the same person in real life!" And for sure right there I thought she knew. I panicked and didn't know what to do. So I started to laugh and said, "LOL. If I were him I'd be frickin' epic." My friends even ask my male character, "Do you have a webcam or a mic?" I always reply with, "No." But, I've been trying to practice getting my voice to a low male voice, hopefully that'll be good.<br />
But, I've dated other girls as well cause I was annoyed with dating myself. Sounds so weird right? Anyway's, I dated around 5 people. 4 girls and 1 boy. (I made the boy character Bisexual) But when I dated the boy it felt so, weird, like that I shouldn't be dating a guy as a guy? I dunno. I'm still continuing this lie. Also, what was even worse was, my friend's played Imvu with me, and by friends I mean real life ones also. I even dated one as my guy character, it was so awkward. After awhile, they all quit so it was better. <br />
But I'm scared, I know they will find out if I don't get rid of him. But it's so weird, I've tried so many times to get rid of my male character, but it feels like, he's part of me. Like, how do I explain this... he's basically, like, the person I wish I was. Everyday I wake up, look in the mirror, see a short, ugly little girl. And I can picture so vividly waking up, looking in the mirror, and seeing the boy that I wish I was. I pray every night that I'd wake up being him, but I know it can't come true no matter what. I'd do anything, ANYTHING, to be this male character I created. I made him very convincing. He's Cute, Funny, Smart, Sort of Perverted (But nowadays, who isn't? xD), Lovable, Trusting, etc. I made him basically, my dream guy. I know what I'm doing to my friends and it hurts me to know that I'm hurting them and they don't even know it. I'm to far in to tell the truth. So my plan was to make up a lie, saying that his computer has broken, so then I'll log on and do stuff on my iPod, but I'll slowly get rid of him and make him log on less and less until he just disappears. The problem is my friends love him so much, they say that he brought happiness and fun back into there lives. Which kills me even more on the inside. I'd do anything to get rid of this lie. ._.

My story honestly i think is one of the most craziest stories . It all started on myspace when i was in the 8th grade it carried on for years i recently just stopped doing it my senior year 12th grade . I was a no body growing up i was lonely confused and felt ugly and geting online helped me solve my problems i felt like i was in another world and i was this guy that all the girls wanted . I hurted so many girls within the years i been in love a few times . This first girl i was 13 i was pretending to be a guy i wasnt , me and this girl dated for almost 3 years i told her i was a girl , she loved me so much she stayed with me . When i told her she didnt believe me she broke down crying like her world was ending but she told me she loved me so much she couldnt let me go . Me and her went threw alota thing so much i cant even get into details . We talked everyday and every night i felt lonely when i couldnt talk to her . We had phone sex said we loved eachother out eachother on our myspace pages everything . We ended because she left me for a real life guy it hurt me but she left me .<br />
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2nd girl , then i met this other girl she came outa no where i was a freshman , i new her when i was talking to the first girl but we wasn't nothing serious yet . Then when my girlfriend left me i paid full attention to her , i loved this girl i feel deeplyin in love with her . She was everything i ever wanted , she made me happy again , i switched u guys with her she would cry and go crazy idont know why i i switched up so much it was just fun to me . I seen i was hurting her by keep saying i was another person but she loved me so much she didnt care she always believed me , i was talking to her for about 3 years then i met her bestfriend thats the 3rd girl i feel in love with . So i caused alota drama with these girls , i ruined there bestfriend **** . My friend was faking online with me and her bestfriend was my friends girlfriend , and i kinda stole her away from my bestfriend i felt bad for doing it but i did it and i couldnt help what i did . So my girlfriend broke up with me and i got with her bestfriend , and then my friend started dating my bestfriend . When i found out i freaked tf out i was so mad because ikno i took her girl but deep down inside i still loved my ex the 2nd girl . But i got over that , and i stayed with the 3rd girl her bestfriend ,<br />
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3rd girl , the bestfriend i feel in love with her because she reminded me so much of my ex her bestfriend that she helped me get over it , i would do her wrong though i was still talking my e her bestfriend because i was so hurt and confused about everything .! and i was upset that my friend who was faking with me was talking to her , i had 3 friends that faked with me . anways though yeah i feel in love with her and one day i told her i was a girl . She cried to me and told me why , why did i do this to her why would i lead her on for so long we dated for 7 months , it hurt me to see her so hurt ! then she told my e her bestfriend and she was shocked , she didnt kno wat to say , she called meand she told me she still loved me and asked me questions and said she felt so weird but i didnt care about her opionion then because i was with my new girl her bestfriend . But then she told me she still loves me and she stayed with me . We kept talking for awhile but one day we were on oovoo and she broke down , she signed off . Then i wrote her , said babe wats wrong and she told me that she loves me so much shes scared . I was all why yuh said and she told me bcuz she dnt nko if she can really be with a girl and she loves me so much if she see's me she knows she couldnt ever leave me and that scares her the thought of being with a girl forever . That she had to let me go , we both cried but i understood and it hurt me so much to let her go but i did let her go . I miss her so much to this day , but we left on good terms <br />
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This girl was my heart and i told myself this was going to be my last time , i feel in love with her we met on tumblr . We fell in love she was everything i ever wanted also , i had been with alota girls over my fake years but these are the main ones i remember and the ones who had my heart let me remind you guys i been with so many girls over the net but these we're the ones who had my heart . But we started talking and she was so real , she was so beautiful she was a model , singer , and actor . She was going to college , she sent me snapbacks i sent her a pink gshock she was my ride or die seriously , and it scared me bcuz she lived so close to me , she would ask why i didnt come see her she lived about 2 hours away . I would get so scared when she asked me that , but then we dated for about 6 months , then she started to say how much she loves me and she started crying , and i asked her baby wats wrong and she said it hurts her she cant be with me in real life she wants to touch me hold hands with me walk down the street and take cute pictures and that was killing me inside to kno the girl i care about so much is hurting . I told her i was a girl and she broke down , she cried so hard i had to tell her bcuz i loved her so much and she lived so close to me , iknew she wasnt gona be like my other girls and forgive me . She cried to me asked me why would i do this called me weird and said she hated me , that hurt me so much . Then i called her like a week later and she said it was cool and we we're cool but she just couldnt **** with me like that because shes not gay . She said she cares about me but she thinks i have problems and i hurt her and i was weird for doin wat i did .and she loved me so much she couldnt talk to me and it made her feel gross because she dont like girls but she was in love with me and she knew i was a lie something had to be wrong bcuz i was everything she ever wanted and it was to good to be true . She was the most real girlfriend i had outa all them , and i miss her the most honestly . After that i got my life together though i told myself i wasnt gona do that agian ever ever again and i got myself to get there i used to feel ugly but i started dressing nice and geting out the house more and i got myself a girlfriend now and we been together 8 months ! im proud of myself i dont wana fake anyone and be something im not . Somtimes i feel like i wana do it again , but i would never get close to anyone if i ever did that again .<br />
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I hope my story reaches out o people , and i wish i could have stopped when iwas younger because i honestly wasted my teen age years i am 18 years old and i stopped when i was `7 i did that fake life for 4 years 13-17 . But i loved meeting all the girls i met , i dont regret meeting them , they changed me and made me the person i am today . Im glad i could get that story out .

I'm amazed at how many people can relate to this! I have never done this, but my best friend (who I'm completely in love with) has. We started out talking with her being a guy and a couple years and many breakups later my mom found her out. We didn't talk for 2 years after that. Later, I emailed her and a few months later she emailed me back. It's been about 3 years since all that and while she did try to pretend with me once, I stopped it. She's been really good with me about being herself and we've gotten really close. We even tried dating again for awhile, but unfortunately she went back to pretending to be a guy and I found out. Actually, she's still doing it. She's dating a 16 year old girl (she's 21) and pretending to be a male. She doesn't know I know yet. I just don't know how to help her. She tells me there's something wrong with her. She even made up this ridiculous dramatic past and said her mom sexually abused her and she was adopted and all this other insanity (none of this is true!!!! her mom adores her!) I want to help her. I know she hates herself for doing this and I'd hate to see her get in legal trouble. I just don't know what I can do. A therapist can't exactly relate to what she's doing. Plus, she gets really defensive whenever I bring it up.

Hey. Unlike you, in the situation, I was the liar. I lied to this girl about being a male and eventually (after more than 2 years) it got too much for me and I ended up telling her the truth. This was about 5 months ago. She hasn't stopped talking to me and we talk almost on a daily basis however she only wants to be friends with me now. I really developed feelings for her and I'm very much in love with her.. It hurts me that she won't give me the chance to be anything more; she claims its because she's not a lesbian. Everyday I think about her and I sometimes think its selfish to want something more than friendship, which she doesn't even have to be. Since your on the other side of things, like her, I'm sure you know how she's feeling and all.

Yeah I can see how she feels. I was really upset when my friend did it to me. I didn't talk to her for two years I was so mad haha. It was really weird when we did start talking again but it got much much better. We're closer than ever now. The difference is that we do have feelings for each other. She just can't seem to stop this addiction and I don't want to get into anything when I'm just going to get hurt.

Hi your reaction is exactly the same as mine the first time I researched this and was really amazed to know that I'm not the only one... started to question if I was ill and needed help..just wanted to know if u r still doing this as I'm heartbroken at the moment due to the girl I fell in love with had to let her go as it wasn't fair on her i am 21 and its the hardest thing I have ever had 2 do in my life as I truly believe and she does to that we was put on this earth for each other..It reeeaaalllyyy hurts but I love her so much that I want her to be happy because I know what we have could never be and she deserves better it took me 3 years to come to that conclusion but I felt it was time to stop being selfish and stop messing with another human beings heart and emotions i haven't spoke to her in 2 weeks seems short but it isn't and feels like a life time... when you speak to that person that you love more than anything every single day most of the day for 3 years..hurts so much feels a elephant is sittin on my chest lol but shes that amazing that I'm willing to do that for her as I have messed her up enough she also self harms so I am really worried n hope she is ok her mum disowned her wen she was 5 and it really affected her she acts like a tough nut bt she's like a boiled egg hard on the outside and soft in the inside she opened up to me after finding it so hard (Awww my baby sigh) so if she is self harming I feel some what responsible..she has a very very low self esteem I always told her n tried to show her she's beautiful (bruno mars "just the way you are") our song...boys always on her case and she didn't want any1 bt me n I reeaally hurt her.. but to damaged to believe she was amazing n a blessing I could go on for ages but to cut a long story short I want someone who can actually physically show her in person make and her see herself as the beautiful person she is (omg feels so good to say this) if any1 would like to talk send me a message please I need it lol

Hi your reaction is exactly the same as mine the first time I researched this and was really amazed to know that I'm not the only one... started to question if I was ill and needed help..just wanted to know if u r still doing this as I'm heartbroken at the moment due to the girl I fell in love with had to let her go as it wasn't fair on her i am 21 and its the hardest thing I have ever had 2 do in my life as I truly believe and she does to that we was put on this earth for each other..It reeeaaalllyyy hurts but I love her so much that I want her to be happy because I know what we have could never be and she deserves better it took me 3 years to come to that conclusion but I felt it was time to stop being selfish and stop messing with another human beings heart and emotions i haven't spoke to her in 2 weeks seems short but it isn't and feels like a life time... when you speak to that person that you love more than anything every single day most of the day for 3 years..hurts so much feels a elephant is sittin on my chest lol but shes that amazing that I'm willing to do that for her as I have messed her up enough she also self harms so I am really worried n hope she is ok her mum disowned her wen she was 5 and it really affected her she acts like a tough nut bt she's like a boiled egg hard on the outside and soft in the inside she opened up to me after finding it so hard (Awww my baby sigh) so if she is self harming I feel some what responsible..she has a very very low self esteem I always told her n tried to show her she's beautiful (bruno mars "just the way you are") our song...boys always on her case and she didn't want any1 bt me n I reeaally hurt her.. but to damaged to believe she was amazing n a blessing I could go on for ages but to cut a long story short I want someone who can actually physically show her in person make and her see herself as the beautiful person she is (omg feels so good to say this) if any1 would like to talk send me a message please I need it lol

i have the same problem only that i dont use fake pictures i use my one...i pretend im a guy when im really a girl..(im a lesbian) at first i didnt think it would this far but i met this girl online..she is the most amazing girl that i have ever met and im totally in love with her and she is too but with the fake person that i made up...i been with her 9 months and during this time she wanted me to cal hr and give her pictures and i dont feel comfortable stealing other peoples pic so i use my own pic myself how i really look liked and hoped i would look guyish enough ...and it work i didnt think it would but it did and for tha call well it work too...the think is i cant stand lying to her anymore ...and i want to tell her everything the truth that im a girl not a guy...but idk how! i know if i tel her im going to loose her forever and she is the best thing that has happened to me but...i know she deserves better and to be with a real guy and not a fake one..i just dont know how to tell her...and i really truly love her...

I'm glad I'm not the only one. At first it was my sister, my younger cousin, and I pranking our older cousin by pretending to be a guy on this site she always went on. my sister and younger cousin kept daring me to keep pranking her, so i did. and about three months passed by, and i told her all the truth. but she somehow found out before i told her. she found out two months in the "relationship" but she just wanted to know how long we would go with this prank, and she wanted to know if we would keep lying. so she went for it. she actually thought it was pretty funny, and she didnt get as mad as i thought she would have.<br />
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I stopped my guy account. and two months later i went back on because it was summer, and it was boring. and i got into these "relationships" with other girls online. it was fun. and i was really popular with many girls and some guys as buddies. so i stopped for one month, and now im back with that. i "dated" this girl for a year or so, and i was really falling for her. im not bi or anything, but i just liked her as that boy i was pretending to be. i have been doing this since i was 12, now im 15 and i cant really stop, its pretty fun, but a little weird. i like doing this, but i hate lying to these people. one of the girls i was with for a year was getting a little suspicious. but the cousin i pranked at age 12 helped me a little by calling these girls and pretending to be my "real girlfriend" or older sister.<br />
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I am trying to stop this, by making him die off or something, and i just cant, i tried that already but i just keep coming back for some reason, i just know im not bi. i guess its an addiction or something, but days pass by, and im getting rid of it slowly. but not completely.

Omg i'm in the exact situation :( i need help. or some way out please message me asap