I Pretend I'm Someone Else
One and a half years ago I made the worst mistake of my life. I created a fake e-mail address using the images, videos, even same interests of a particular person. I did this because I was kinda attracted to that person, and thought how cool it would be to be them, so what I did, was set up a fake e-mail address and posted this e-mail address on a "Need Adds" website. People then added me, and I spoke to them as if I was that person. It seemed like it was harmless, until I met someone which I don't really want to name, it's unfair, so I'll call them "buddy". Buddy was one of those people that stood out from everyone else I met from the add site, and was also very attracted to the person I was pretending to be. Anyway, I talked to/talk with Buddy every single day and still do, even to the point where I know them as well as the back of my hand.
Anyway, there is more. Things have got worse. Much worse. I then began to become amazing friends with this "Buddy" and several other people over MSN. The person I was pretending to be became part of me. When I logged on as that person, I became that person. The person I'm imitating is completely different from me, and just logging on as that person made me become them. This continued for two months until along came 2 others. Which I'll name "2" and "3".
Two and three were yet another two people I created around the first person (One). These two others were added because I was attracted to them as well, and also to add realism around One. The fact these other two people were friends in real life with the real person I was imitating helped me, as it again, built realism. But then, it got even worse. Can it get worse? Oh yes.
To build realism for Two and Three. I made Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine Ten - ... and so on until I get to somewhere around twenty five. Twenty Five fake people. So then came the pressure of getting all these fakes to talk at the same time, and become like a real web of people. So I began to multi-task. I mainly talked as one person at a time if I could , using the excuse "It's the same laptop and I have to give it to the others for them to borrow to talk to you" and when I went on holiday , I would have to say "We all went on holiday together". Obviously I wouldn't say these things like that, but they are examples. I have used many clever, but very bad tricks to fool Buddy and the other people into believing these people exist more. The horrible thing is, is they do. I'm so perfect at being a fake, it is UNREAL. And no. I am not proud of that at all. :(
I'm constantly managing around twenty five people at once, whilst trying to go to school and achieve good exam results at the same time (which somehow, I'm managing). Also, my parents are becoming concerned about the fact on school nights (where I have to get up at half past seven) i'm going to sleep every single night at around two am.
Some examples to show how much of a real fake I am, is some of the horrible techniques I use, like tracking down these real people (who's identity i'm stealing) and using pictures, addresses, even fooling them into believing I'm their friends, in order to get closer to them, in order to steal more information, videos and pictures off them (even though I have only done this properly with one person). Another example is fooling Buddy with the webcam trick. Someone told me that you know someone is real when you see them on webcam. So I went onto one of the video websites One uses, and using a second computer, filming them recording them self on webcam with my webcam to for a few moments to basically prove to Buddy this person exists. And it worked. The even more horrific thing is Buddy is a smart person, heck they are getting higher grades than me, and in a horrible, nasty and sick way, i've outsmarted them. I've used little techniques i've thought of myself which are plain smart in the worst way possible. One more example is I would find a collection of photos of One , Two or another say being at.. the fair?, and save them. Then I would tell buddy "I" was going to the fair on a particular date and would wait until that date ended, then upload those photos onto Facebook. Basically fooling them into again believing these people are real.
I want it to end. I started it, and for starting it, i'm a sick and twisted person. It began as harmless fun, and evolved into an addiction. It would be so kind if someone found some advice, or someone like me! It's killing me, but I still like it, as if a cocaine addiction. I need some advice that isn't just "Stop then". If I just ended this Buddy would be left , on their own, heartbroken his friends left him.
One and a half years, this has been going on for. Also, these people are Americans i'm pretending to be. So i've had to work against the time zone thing- hence staying up late.
Sorry about mistakes, and I hope someone gives me some positive feedback :)
Thanks so much.
