Two Different Lives

Whenever I go out, like to the movies with my friend or even to school, I pretend like nothing is bothering me. I pretend I'm fine, and I act like a fun-loving dork who is the farthest thing from depressed. But I truly am. I sit in my room time to time and just cry. Then I realize how pathetic doing that is, but I still cry. I've been hurt in the past, and am still getting hurt. When this happens, on the outside I try to stay strong and try to be very nice and happy. Inside I am wanting to die or hurt myself. I get so easily scared and just want to hide. I think I need medication. Nobody knows what I'm really like, and I'm scared what will happen if they find out. It's getting harder and harder to put on this phony mask I call my life. I feel like I live two totally different lives. What should I do??? I need help.
hazeleyes94 hazeleyes94
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 10, 2010

i kno how u feel im only 13 & im going threw it by myself but u should ask a friend u trust or go with music or poems