A Year On And Time To Get On

So its the annerversary of my dads death today. Its been emotional to say the least. It has also got me thinking about what its all about and where do i go through this adventure. I have been very pre-occupied with death, i guess its my first encounter with it. I really saw a black tunnel, what was the point in it all? if everyone is really a @sshole, then what was the point i asked myself.
The point i guess is to make it the otherside without becomming one myself. I do spend alot of time feeling sorry for myself, feeling down todden and why me! im a nice person. i actualy care and i try my best to keep the peace all the time. But you know what its never enough and your never going to get people to see things your way. they are going to look out for them, and you need to look out for you. Only difference is, im never going to stop caring, i just need to walk away if its apparent the other person never will care! thats being nice without being the victim.

So in reflection. Its been a hard year and for once i think i really can say i had every right to be miserable, but now i must get back to my buisiness and sort out my stuff. I will still miss my dad and i will still feel the pain, but i need to stop licking my wounds. I have a new job to start in a few weeks, whoch im nervous about as it will take me out of my comfort zone, but it will be good for me. I have alot of really good things to look foard to it, and i want to grab it with both hands and really enjoy the years ahead of me. Life is to short ay!

So Ill have to fake it till i make it. Open the door tomorrow and greet it with a smile, in time ill be my happy self again, i do miss me i know how to have fun when i chill out.
To the future with thanks to my past xxxx

nicola1988 nicola1988
1 Response May 19, 2012

gosh you have had a rough year of it.........................you had every right to feel the way you did, but you have now become more positive and you are ready to face tomorrow - well done, i take my hat of to you.