Still Depressed

My Brother & MOther & friends still think I am ok, because they don't see me as much as my husband, he understands though.  I pray to God every day to take this pain away, but it is still here, I get scared.  I don't know what to do sometimes, but I hang on.

violets violets
41-45, F
5 Responses Mar 9, 2009

I know how it feels, my family is the same way. I thank good for my husband and daugther. They see the real me.

Depression is difficult to deal with as it can so easily become a habitual way of thinking feeling and behaving... and when one tries to be different its too easy to return to being no matter what help one gets in the end it comes back to you changing the way you think....and what you do to reinforce that...<br />
Here are some things I use that always work very well when I do it and stick to it....but being human I fall into old habits at times then I have to kick myself and change it back again...but the most powerful thing about doing this is to realise that your future and present is in your hands and you always have the power to change it to what you want in the ever present....<br />
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1. Gratitude - Start looking for the simple things in your life that are working and are alive, many are not...the weather is good today other places its not...(and always remember if the weather is bad today look for the good in it) this is re training your mind to start thinking in a different way to what it has always done....Notice flowers trees, children, sunshine, tell yourself the good things about each one every day.... every day look for something nice about what your eyes see... Look for them...they are there...change your thinking from critical of everything you see to looking for the good in everything you see...<br />
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2. See yourself as more powerful than your negative thoughts feelings and actions... know that you are the boss and can change anything in your life....underneath this is your fears of not being good enough etc....not being strong enough etc...these are ego ba<x>sed and are robbing you of your own strength...but you are allowing that because you are strong enough to see through it...and that is its are always stronger than your bad thoughts, bad feelings and or negative actions and re-actions...<br />
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3. Do things for others...not to get from but for the giving...this does not have to be at more people... look people in the eye without defiance...compliment others look for things nice to say to them....encourage others... compliment children on the little things about them....this makes you look for positive things..again a re- training your mind to change its negative positive patterns...<br />
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4. Join positive groups, add fun and exercise to your life...walking/singing/swimming/fun/dancing get out of yourself...and when you think you are running away from yourself... re affirm exactly that... you are ! but in a good way... what you are now doing is running away from depression...and if it comes away again and again until it cant keep up with you and finally gives up...<br />
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5. Self talk.... look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are loving...and that you deserve love...your own the little girl inside that to her in loving ways...until she believes you... do it every day until you dont have to....and dont give up on her...from that little girl inside comes the strength and love for the big girl on the outside....this way you kill depression permanently from the inside...

Please dont just hang on. See your doctor and get some help. In no time at all you will hopefully be feeling positive about life again. I hope you will feel better soon

why are you hurting so much??? can I help you,,,well I will pray for you to be comforted untill,,,heaven comes,,,love and light mary

I know the feeling. It's good you have your husband to confide in.