http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Feel-Like-Im-Waiting-For-An-Early-Death/7329043
The above link is posted for reference. As I have come to terms and accepted my predicted fate, I know it's at the back of my mind and I rant about it here because if I tell anyone in real life they'll think I'm crazy or suicidal which I'm miles far from. What I can't accept that because of all this I have lost touch with the simple things in life, I feel like I have not been motivated to unleash my creative potential I once had, I used to love going out and doing street photography, painting, I have started a graphic design course which I have procrastinated and fell behind in and as much as I want to get on with it and enjoy myself despite my future being smaller than a grain of salt. I want to at least be able to enjoy what I love doing but at the same time my mind tells me "what's the point? You're dead" But I just want to enjoy what's left of my life but why can't I push myself to do it. In a way I feel like I am half dead or nearly all the way there. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
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26-30
Feb 21, 2016