PRODUCT Recall

 

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units

manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the

serious defect in the primary and central component

of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype

units; code name: Adam and Eve, resulting in the

reproduction of the same defect in the subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed, "sub-sequential

Internal, Non-morality." Or more commonly known as

SIN, as it is primarily expressed, some of the symptoms

includes:

Loss of direction

Foul vocal emissions

Amnesia of origin

Lack of peace and joy

Selfish, or violent behaviour

Depression or confusion in the mental components

Fearfulness

Idolatry

Rebellion

 

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this

defect, is providing factory authorised repairs and service, free of

charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus,

has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the

staggering cost of these repairs.

There is no additional fee required, the number to call for repair

in all area is P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your

burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus,

into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect

is, Jesus will replace it with:

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-control

Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details

on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a Resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy Ghost, repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent residence on the premises!.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids the Manufacturer’s warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on JESUS.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall

action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will

not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of

that facility.

Thank you for your attention, please assist where possibly by notifying others of this important recall notice.

deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Feb 12, 2009

It's cleverly written but for some reason makes me *gag*

This so true and so well written, thankyou for the giggle