Returning To Self-punishment

I started self-spanking before I was 12 years old. I was fascinated by corporal punishment at boarding school and started giving it to myself during the school holidays, to re-create the feelings and the marks of the punishments I got at school. Soon after leaving school at 18 I found other CP enthusiasts and so I gave up self-spanking for many years. Although I still visit other people from time to time to get spanked, I have returned to self-imposed discipline, too. The punishments I get from other people are all for pleasure, but the ones I give myself are real - for real shortcomings in my behaviour. One of the disciplinarians I have been visiting for many years helps me with this, by specifying the minimum punishments I should get for my common offences and sometimes increasing these when he thinks it appropriate, His punishments are not just self-spanking, but include corner time, written punishments and often other delights such as physical exercise or cold showers. Often the spankings I give myself hurt more (and for longer) than those I get from other people; the overall punishment "detentions" last up to 3 hours and can leave me close to tears.

My feelings towards these punishments are ambiguous and complex. I find them deeply satisfying and sometimes arousing, but I genuinely fear them and would never do something wrong deliberately to earn one. This disciplinary regime has modified my behaviour. For example, I gave up smoking long ago but would occasionally accept a cigarette or cigar if offered one but not any more - the consequences would be so very, very painful!
williamboyson2b williamboyson2b
56-60, M
11 Responses May 27, 2012

i can never seem to spank myself enough that i would be scared of it :/ pluz sometimes i dont stick with the punishments i set for myself, like i slack off n forgo certain spankings or like cut short corner time xp :/

I have similar experiences. My self punishment brings tears to my eyes every time. I don't feel fulfilled unless the tears are there.

Well if it works for you why not. So you stopped smoking because you would give yourself a severe spanking if you did smoke so you stopped and if you were offered one you would smoke it and enjoy it but when you got home you had a long session with the belt. Well if it works.

The knowledge that I would have to endure a very arduous and painful 4 hour punishment detention has certainly deterred me from smoking again.

Excuse me four hours of punishment and that would be what? And could you not find a mentor or someone to do the spanking for you. Seeing that you are spanking yourself are you really spanking yourself punishment style. If someone else was spanking you might learn quicker. I am only asking I am not saying you are not giving yourself and good hard spanking.

For something that serious I would feel honour-bound too consult my longtime mentor. I have visited him for face to face role-play discipline but not for punishment for real offences. He has provided me with some standard responses to my common failings and some of those detentions have lasted 3 hours so I have no doubt for smoking it would be worse. The conventional CP element would probably only take up 20 minutes - the rest would be corner time - probably of a particularly taxing nature, lines and physical exercises.

Well when you visit your mentor why does it have to be for role playing why does he just not spank you for what you did wrong .

It's complicated - for one thing, our circumstances are complicated, so we can only meet once a year at best, and punishment for a real offence can't be delayed for long if it is to have any meaning.

Well no all spanking have to take place when needed . Well do you live alone have you heard of robo spanker you can find it on the net

No, I'm married, which is a major complication. It's not often that I can risk marks which last more than a couple of days. Understandably, this makes most masters err on the side of caution, so I get less than I need or deserve. Hence I can give myself a much more severe thrashing with no long-lasting marks than I would get from most masters I know.

I've seen videos of robospanker - it looks good, especially with the cane, which is hard to give to oneself.

So I guess your wife is not into disciplining you right, Well do you have kids how do you discipline them?

No, my wife does not share this kink. I've never spanked my kids.

6 More Responses

I've been spanked with canes, hands,paddles etc and enjoyed it. It is an imprtant part of my punishments that I wear my school uniform complete with grey short trousers. "Sir" always ends up ordering me to drop-em for punishment on my underpants or bare and finishes me off with me getting dressed back in my uniform for a final 6 off the best. I've self spanked nor have any inclination to do so.

Yes, dressing the part is important for me, too. I "enjoy" being spanked by other people; I don't "enjoy" self-spanking but sometimes it has to be done!

Your sick and need help

Your ****** up

I am with you on the implements department. My favourite is a multi tail made of leather boot laces. What fun that can be, deliberately "wrapped" to give that extra bite!! Happycat1

I also have a home-made martinet made from leather bootlaces, which is far more effective than one I bought. It really stings where it wraps around the side of the bottom cheeks and is even worse if it penetrates between them.

It's hard to be specific at this distance but the results seem fairly obvious now. Some implements, such as the hairbrush, electrical flex and home-made tawses, were more effective at delivering a really effective thrashing on one's own bottom than more "traditional" tools such as the slipper and cane.

do you punish yourself in any other ways?

The things I mention - lines, corner time, spankings, exercise etc. are quite enough for me! What else did you have in mind?

i didnt really have anything else in mind, was just curious to hear what other people to so i can find more ways to punish myself

I can also recommend a Yahoo Group
where you can find people willing to give advice.

WOuld be interested to hear more about how you self punished yourself as a kid, and how you recreated the school experience at home.

At that stage, I'd only had the slipper and strap over school or gym shorts at school, which left our bottoms red and stinging. During the holidays I experimented with all sorts of improvised implements and different clothing and no clothing, to find out what effects they all had.

Can I ask what the results of the various 'experiments' were?
Which were worse and which were better?

It's hard to remember over 45 years later but basically, heavy flat implements like hairbrushes and thin flexible ones like belts and electrical flex were the easiest to use on myself.

Like the story about self-imposed Discipline, I go to london to be spank get three times a viisit.