The Wall

I've recently figured that I don't push people away. I pretty much drive them away.  What I'm noticing is that I keep people at arm's length.  Apparently this is something everyone has major issues with.  Which is a whole different novel for a whole different time. 
I'm noticing a trend.  People come around and a friendship starts to grow.  Then they get to the wall. The wall I have built around me.  The wall built on broken promises, stacked tall with empty words, and held together with a thick slurry of lies.  The wall that nobody wants to deal with.  It's not invincible by any means.  The problem, I've decided, is that people decide the "reward" inside the wall isn't worth the time and effort.  I can't really say I blame them.  I know I'm a mess.  But that's another story for another time.
What I don't understand is why nobody is willing to admit what's really going on.  Nobody ever tells me they don't want to talk to me anymore.  I either get stories of why they "need to leave" or I flat out get dropped.   Some don't even bother coming up with an excuse.  One day I'm just blocked.  Emails are ignored, and just like that, I'm forgotten.
So, if you're thinking about trying to step up to my wall... consider yourself warned.  Do us all a favor and don't do your part to add to my wall.
SooperSarah SooperSarah
26-30, F
7 Responses Oct 2, 2013

*holding a bunch of construction tools* whelp, looks like I got my work cut out for me, huh babe? *smiles*

I am good at removing walls. U seam nice. I feel u are not mess up just misunderstood. Let's talk. Might be fun :)

i know what you mean. i get that a lot on ep where people say they want to chat or get in contact with you and then suddenly stop with no warning whatsoever even if they were the ones wanting to chat and you've barely said two words together before simply disappearing . Or they block you for no reason
for simply saying hello and that you'd like to chat.

The other day a moron of a guy wanted to chat saying we have things in common and of course immediately wanted to exchange pictures and when i said i don't know you yet he blocked me lol

some people have absolutely no ethical standards at all

i never felt like you pushed me away, it seemed like you actually didn't want to loose me :)

I can totally relate.

*poke* I'm still inside your wall:)

Not even close lol
There's a LOT you don't know about me yet :p

Ahh I'm trying!!!!

I feel bad while reading this. I'm sorry, Sarah.