I Feel Comfortable Being Alone

 I am friendly with everyone, easy to talk with, a good listner and can make peaple laugh. But there is always this red line, a front that I can't let people pass it. Once I feel that I am getting closer with anyone, I withdraw immediatly, especially with friends. I stop calling them, ignore them, do not reply on massages. I feel so bad doing it, but I can't stop myself. I feel that everyone I know is an aquintance, not real friends, and what makes me feel bad is knowing that I am doing this, pushing people away, not trying to let them get in. Maybe I am scared of getting emotionally hurt, betrayed,  rejected. Maybe I just don't trust people enough. I really don't know.

ransha ransha
26-30, F
10 Responses Mar 5, 2009

hi,its is a honour to join and sign in here.I believe this will be a splendid experience for me......here I am signing in........

I feel the same way. I tend to be very sociable in groups, and everyone seems to enjoy my company, but it gets to a point where i can no longer go any further. I just escape and leave. I go skiing by myself. I was in a long term relationship and was going to get married, but it did not work out in the end. I feel like i am just going to disappoint people if i let them in. I feel awful about this because i know it is very selfish of me. I know people want to be with me, but i just shut the world out. I just want to go somewhere and be completely alone. I'm so afraid to let people in. I don't want to disappoint anyone. I don't really know what to do...

Believe me, it does make sense. It becomes easier and more comfortable for us to be alone, because being alone, translates to being safe.

I am just like this too. I get so scared that I will be hurt again so I withdraw and end up alone but safe. If that makes sense at all.

I feel like that, too!

For a long time I had a wall around me. I must of had an air about me. Once people hit that wall they never tried to get closer. If they were to I would stop them. I believe it is you are afraid of getting hurt. Who would want that? No one I know. It is understandable. But if you look at it like what you could be missing.

I was relieved knowing that there are people whom I can relate to. And just like Purplequeen said, over time, an armor is build around my heart. It is not easy stopping it, because many times, I do it unconsciously, and by the time I figure out what I am doing, it is already too late and I have pushed my friends away.

I'm exactly like you. And I feel like you feel. For me, I guess it's just a way to keep away from being hurt (as I have been quite a few times). Friends who have known me for ages know this, and accept my "I want to be alone" periods. Sometimes I feel I don't have deep feelings for anyone, and probably I unconsciously want it to 'prevent' emotional pain. I've had enough of it, whenever I've tried to open up, and year by year, I've grown to build an armor around my heart.

It could be a million reasons, only you know that. Stop thinking about it and something. Sometimes you just gotta risk it. And if it doesn't work out with with the person, you can always ignore him/her just like you would do anyway.

I do the same thing...and it destroys me that i do this to people. I can never keep long-term friendships or relationships. I withdrawl also, when I feel I'm getting to close. It sucks. It's like I rather be alone than let people in. I turn off my cell phone. I don't respond to calls or messages. It's a wonder why people try to be my friend? I feel so cold sometimes. I don't know I just felt like I could relate to you. It's a vicious cycle I want to break,but don't know if I how. <br />
I don't know why I do this either? I guess I don't want to get hurt and I don't want to hurt anybody else. But thats exactly what I end up doing by pushing them away<br />
I hurt them and myself. blah