I Believed In A Drug Addict Who Cheats On Me And I Continue To Take Him Back

I feel like an idiot and I hate myself for it.  He left for two weeks and only called three times, I over heard him talking about another woman and he hung up the phone on me.  I called him back and he wouldnt answer the phone.  I even went down to see him twice and , a two hour drive and he wouldnt even pick up the phone.  Why the hell am I such a pushover.  He treats me like crap, he hides his phone from me.  He has other women that he hangs out with, he calls himself "Captain Save a Ho" and all I can think abou tis hte fact that he will change and see who I am and what I mean someday.  But of course since I let him walk all over me he iwill never respect me.     We were engaed to be married and he called it off. My son hates him, my friends tell me to leave him and I continue to listen to his *** and stay with him.  God help me......  at times I just want to die thinking it will be the only way out of this hell.  Loving someoe who doesnt love me.
kelleyle kelleyle
41-45
Jul 10, 2010