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Ignoring My Own Needs

This is generally a good thing, but when taken to the extreme, like in my case, it can have the opposite effect. I am a constant people-pleaser, putting everyone else before me and ignoring my own needs. Maybe I do it to get others to like me. Maybe I don't feel worthy of fulfilling my needs. Maybe I define my worth based on what I have done for others. Whatever the reason, I rarely say no to anyone; I feel obligated to do what others ask of me. I always try to convince myself that it doesn't matter anyways, that I'm doing the right thing by making the other person happy. I think I need to be more assertive and start acknowledging that I have needs of my own that deserve to be met.

flyingintherain flyingintherain 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 28, 2008

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I too am a people-pleaser. I call it my flaw because of the problems it creates when taken to the extreme. I found myself so overwhelmed at times, not to mention miserable. I am still a people-pleaser, no doubt, but I have managed to prevent hurting myself for the sake of others. If there is a real need for it, I see the purpose, but sometime you have to say no. You have to stop and look at the overall picture. Weigh it out, pros and cons, is it necessary, is it worth it? One thing is for sure, people-pleasers know who their true friends are, they are the ones that don't take advantage of us. Keep doing good in the life's of others.

It's good to know I'm not alone. :) I think we just need to find a balance, a happy medium if you will, respecting ourselves but also helping others too.