Too Often

I can walk into any store and drop three hundred dollars on a birthday present for someone,but I cant even spend twenty bucks on a cheap pair of jeans for myself,I feel too guilty about spending the money on me and guilt trip myself out of buying it.Then I go to another store and see something and I say 'Thats perfect for (some friend/family)!'  Then I proceed to checkout and shell out sixty dollars and go home still needing those pants.
blackcat blackcat
22-25, F
3 Responses Jul 3, 2007

Sounds familiar, your story. It is almost impossible for me to put myself first, no matter what the situation is: at home it's my family and relatives, at work it is my students, in social affairs it's my friends' preferences. And I am beginning to become more consciously aware of how it affects my self-worth. One day I hope to allow all those great and wonderful things to come to me because I am a precious being, and I deserve whatever it is that makes me feel good!

Perhaps you could consider some of these - <br />
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When we dont love ourselves enough, we feel we are not worthy of having nice things...<br />
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When we dont accept ourselves as being ok we will always think that someone else deserves things we look at and we dont matter...<br />
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When we dont think we are good enough we give to others to feel good enough...<br />
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When we dont feel we are worth spending money on we spend money on others to compensate...<br />
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When we feel guilty about spending money on ourselves we will always say to ourselves its ok I dont need that.. I can go without.. cos its only me its not important...<br />
Our guilt is telling us we feel we are not important...we dont matter...<br />
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Low self esteem low self worth can be changed by changing the way you think about yourself... look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worth loving etc and repeat it every day many times until it becomes part of your everyday life and thinking...

i too myself that i think of other before me and then seeing others got lots of things and then sitting back to see that i hardly got anything for myself