Succulent Sucrose

 I've been called a lot of things. Mean, stupid, smart, sexy, ugly, short, fat, tall, skinny, and black. However, mostly, I'm known as crazy.

Por que?

I put sugar in my coffee.

[cue end of the world]

Coffee smells like sex, and tastes like anal. It's disgusting by itself (especially my dad's coffee*). A teeny, tiny widdle addition of vanilla-cream and a dash of "Sugar In The Raw" later, and you have coffee that tastes half as good as it smells.

------------------------------------------------------------

* He brews it the night before, and lets it percolate overnight. It is stale, lifeless, and ******. McDonalds makes better coffee than my dad.

zeligocity zeligocity
22-25, M
14 Responses Feb 23, 2009

Coffee-exposed sounds interesting...I'll have to try it sometime. I think Peet's is primarily a west-coast establishment. And their coffee is sextastic.<br />
<br />
Insta-coffee drinkers should die painful, horrible deaths involving flying babies. They perpetuate idiocy with their ****** taste-buds.

Instant coffe is for bums who can't brew coffee correctly. I was raised by mormons and I know how to make it.

Well I do need a reason to use the coffee/ espresso maker my buddy got me for my new house.... (*excited face*)

I have no idea what Peet's is but the coffee shop in town is, in a word, awesome. I've never been to coffee-exposed.com. You should get some and relay the information to us.

Anyone tried the stuff from coffee-exposed.com? I read the main page and it sounded interesting, but I don't want to buy a bunch of coffee online.

It may be wrong, but it tastes so right. And according to my awesomely amazing taste-buds, Peet's has better coffee than McShitty and Starfucks. COMBINED.

You can't have sugar in your coffee. That's just wrong. International Delight creamers on the other hand... Also: According to Consumer's Report, McDonald's has better coffee than Starbucks.

Good. CBM and I are better than all of you. Kona coffee or not : P

Nuh-uh. Cafe con leche allll the way man. =P

French coffee's ALRIGHT. But if you want to truly imbibe the beauty that is God's ******, you'll drink Kona coffee :D

Oo look at me I'm french, soo much better than you poor americans : P

Coffee is magic.

(There's not enough $ in the universe.)<br />
<br />
Annnd: coffee + cream + sugar = Bliss. ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed my story, EnRegalia. Might I suggest you invest in a sense of humor?