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(very) Eventual Goal

I saw this group - the words "I Quit Coffee" - and felt powerful. I've had a love affair with coffee like a woman who'd sell her soul for her abusive long-term lover. (Well, perhaps not quite that severe.) I've quit it for a while, more than once. I've gone through durations where I'd successfully limit myself to a cup per day. BUT -- and, gee, don't you hate that little conjunction? -- I've always gone back.

I haven't tried quitting again for quite a while, perhaps two years. The topic does frequently pop into my head, tug on the corner of my mind underneath all the clutter. It's even on my typed-up list of Who I'd Be At Thirty, my ideal dream-self. Yet, it never seems to make it to a front-line goal anymore. Like a "someday" goal that we know we won't actually reach, is how the idea seems, of quitting coffee & caffeine.

Perhaps one day when I'm not a nightshift worker juggling two jobs.
Perhaps one day when I'm not working in a coffee shop any longer (hm, lemme guess, when I'm dead?).
Perhaps when I'm thirty, forty-five, sixty... Nah, I'm too old to change my ways now.

Goals should be like breathing. If something got in your way of breathing - no matter what it was - you would do anything to remove it, to breathe again. It's an impulse we don't think about, we just do. You don't forget to breathe, or skip "just this one", or stop just because your friend asked you politely and you couldn't refuse. You simply make sure it gets done, no matter and no excuses.
Nyxii Nyxii 22-25, F Dec 20, 2011

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