Well Here I Go
been going to college since 2001 and no degree yet. i have been hating college for the last three or four years. i've wanted to quit (i took a year and half break), but just the whole idea of quitting never has appealed to me....obviously it has it's stigma. but i don't give a rip anymore! i am doing something that makes me severely unhappy. last semetser i was in college (two years ago) i was almost ready to commit suicide. again, i am at that point. and i am not blaming it only on school, i have depression that gets worse in the winter, but i know what i am doing is not the path i want to be on. it's just too overwhelming for me, and this degree just isn't for me. i could have saved a LOT of money in student loans if i just allowed myself to quit when i first wanted to.
anyways so this is my last semester. these classes are the classes i couldn't pass last time cause they were too difficult. but i need them for my degree (which i don't really care about my major). so the chances of me even passing (especially with the major projects coming up, VERY difficult) are slim. and i know that i am moving in with my boyfriend as soon as classes are done. i suppose i could just stop going to class now, but hey, i figure i'd keeop going just on the off chance i'd pass. HA!
but i am SO happy with my decision, because i've longed to do it for so long....i've always changed my mind as soon as i told soemone else and they told me DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but you know what? IT'S MY DECISION.
yes i am scared that i won't get a good job and i'll have to work at stupid jobs the rest of my life, but you know what? that doesn't neccessarily have to happen! and even if it does, as long as i'm happy i don't care.
so i'll update this story to let you all know how it goes. i know i'm scared of what effect this will have on the rest of my life, but i'm ecstatic that i'm taking charge of my happiness (and unhappiness).