Quiting Smoking Has Become My Double Edged Sword
I quit smoking. It's been a month now. It's the fourth time I have done this. Not once, including this time, did I quit for me. This time I did it for my wife. She pretty much gave me an ultimatum. She said she hated kissing me or coming near me because I always smell like smoke and she hated me smoking. The thing is, she knew I was a smoker when we met. She knew I loved smoking. She said she was ok with it when we were dating. Now we are three years married and I have to quit smoking. So I do. I do it for her because I love her. But now that I have quit smoking I can't stand being around her. I am a laid back, easy kind of person. She is an - there is always something to do, worry about, a bit neurotic person. We balanced each other out. Now, when she starts with the house could use more tidying, did I make the car appointment, have the dogs been fed, etc... no matter if I have done the task or not, I don't want to be around her. I think I used to have a cigarette and could handle the neurotic nagging. Now, I don't want to be near her. Ironic, isn't it! I quit smoking because she didn't want to be close to me and now I don't even want to be in the same room with her! Plus, she is a wine drinker. When she needs to calm down from a stressful day, she has a glass of wine. When I see her doing that now? Having a glass of wine to unwind? I want to kick her teeth in. I think how dare she get to unwind while I sit here being a ball of nerves. I don't know how long this will last. I do know that I love my wife and would never what her to know this because it would hurt her. But at the same time, the only time I am at peace now is when she not with me.