I Just Startet Again, 2,5 Days Cold TurkeySo i just startet again, i had my friend on a visit yesterday, and he was drinking energy drinks, eat pizza and saw some movie, i just couldent relax. I dont know if it was stupid or something, but he is as bored as i am, but i was all happy flappy, until i constantly had this feeling of my stumich / chest shaking or well just constantly feeling like i would get a panic attack, until i drove to get a pack of cigarettes, i was feeling fine alone i could cope with it, but when my friend was here i just couldent i dont know why, i HAD to relax, i was jumping around in the house acting all crazy ^^ until i went for a long walk (2 hours) and then i ended up buying a pack of cigis anyways even 2,5 days after.
I just couldent take the feeling of feeling my heart beat all the time, i had to relax, but the FEELING i got from taking that 1 cigarette man, i felt INSTANTLY depressed, like it was like the real me was beside me, i felt so happy without cigarettes.
Then my friend left when i got home, cause he could see i was beside myself, and he said i should maybe consider just keep on smoking what a fail man, i even quit school last friday because i didnt wanna see other people when i quit the first few days.
And he said that he had the same constant feeling of anxiety when he didnt eat fat food, cause he was "craving" to get saturate, and he got that "high" when getting Saturate.
I only had that 1 cigarette and went to bed, i felt so beside myself i dont think because i took it, but because i could feel my life force moving out of my body.
Trying again today, and really bored, i just feel like smoking again, and a bit sad i didnt even make it to day 3 that would have been in 5 minutes.
How do i cope with boredom? when walking for 2 hours isnt even enough, i hold it for the 2 hours but still wanted a cigarette, especially when my friend was at my home and being bored aswell. i hate it!
he told me to just keep smoking because i should enjoy my life instead of feeling depressed because of boredom because i took that cigarette and he felt i blamed him because he was at my place yesterday.
So my question is how do i cope with boredom? how can i cope with it!? do i just need to run?
I can cope with all the feelings, but the "boredom" is just to much to handle. ty hope on some answers
Selfconsciousness 18-21, M 1 Response 0 Sep 16, 2012