Smoking At 15

Smoking was one of my bad habits and I enjoyed it very much. It started off as a social thing. It'd be a great way to kick back and have a conversation with another smoker or someone who doesn't smoke. It relaxes you and makes you more open to talk freely. Smokers are a family, if you smoke you're more likely to talk to people who smoke because it's an obvious thing you have in common. I started off smoking only with my friend. Every time he had one he offered me one and I loved it. We smoked Newport Shorts and we bonded more and more every cigarette we smoked. We'd talk about everything in life, but mostly girls and our problems. I started to like them more and more as I would have one with my other friends when we were chilling and it'd have the same effect. We'd be open and talk about everything together. I eventually got my first pack of Primetimes which are mini cigars that have a flavoring on the butt. That's when the habit started. It wasn't a social thing anymore, I was doing it on my own for my own enjoyment. Eventually this led to a pack which lasted me about 2-3 days. And this continued for a couple months. My friend was wanting to stop and I saw this as an opportunity for my no longer social smoking habit to stop as well. This wasn't the case. After is exceeded the social level I didn't only want one when I was with my friends no, I wanted one when I was alone or not doing anything. I found it to be my "friend" it was always there when I needed it, it was the light in the dark for me. Helped with depression, anxiety, and anger. It was my go-to for any emotion that I didn't want. This also led to the problem of the edgy feeling of going too long without a cigarette. I didn't like this feeling most of all. Not to mention every other bad feeling I got I would drowned out with smoking. I quit for about 5 days then got some bad news that had me pissed off, I had about 5 cigarettes in 30 minutes. I started again. So I was on about a pack a day. That's 20 cigarettes a day. after another month of this I tried to stop by buying the electronic cigarette. This didn't fully satisfy my urge to smoke. I continuously smoked it and nothing. The edginess was sinking in and I'd give in and smoke 1-4 a day. This was a significantly lower amount but not good enough. I broke and I continued a pack of Marlboro Reds a day for another couple months while trying on the side snus (which is dipping). It reduced my urge to smoke but overall I'd still smoke. Another couple months of trying to quit and giving in (the dipping and electronic cigarette) and I stopped trying to quit and started to realize I can smoke if I want to. I sure wanted to, it was my relaxation in every day. It got rid of all the low feelings as long as I had a pack. My routine was wake up and smoke one on the way to school, smoke one at lunch, and smoke after school, there's a 3 and 4 hour break between cigarettes. I got edgy in that time. Then I started smoking Camel Crush and about 3 days of smoking them (a pack a day) I noticed I'd catch myself gasping for air. I realized my lung capacity was going way down. I could no longer breath normally, I'd take deep breaths here and there, otherwise I'd feel like I was suffocating. This was the final straw in my decision to quit. I put down the cigarettes 5 days ago this hour resorting to my dipping habit to keep the urge away. Every time I wanted a cigarette I put a pouch in and did homework or played xbox. I noticed immediately I could focus better on my homework not having to take smoke breaks every 45 minutes. I've also been more happy and energetic throughout the 5 days. I used to "want" to quit because others hated it and to make others proud. But personally, I didn't really want to quit I loved it. The relief it gave me and the conversations I could have, the friend's I made. I loved smoking. I'm proud to say I finally put it down and my breathing has improved dramatically. I''ll reduce my risk of cancer and improve my overall health even my mental health! I'm currently 16 years old and I started when I was 15. Granite the times I was having when I started I was suffering massive anxiety attacks and a deep depression. The cigarettes were my way of coping with them and facing the fact I was scared to do it on my own. If you smoke I'm not saying dip or try the electronic cigarettes. I'm saying quit because you want to quit if you don't want to then smoke as much as you feel necessary. But from a personal experience, smoking doesn't really help you, it masks not just bad emotions but your good one's too. It's my time to quit although I crave one here and there I have the will to fight off the nicotine withdrawals by choice and so do you if you chose to. Quitting is a personal decision nobody can influence you to quit. I'm just sharing my experience.
jeffpoteet jeffpoteet
1 Response Nov 29, 2012

i quit smoking when i was 17 years old after starting when i was 14.when i started i thought i was big and tough but i soon realised how stupid smoking is, and i knew that if i didnt quit i would probably get lung cancer and die young. i am now nearly 42 years old and i havnt smoked since.i feel more energetic,less breathless,and alot fitter