I Can Do It!!

I started smoking at age 15. I'm now 35 going on 36. As I laid in bed Sunday night after about 2 packs of cigs that day, I tossed and turned coughing like I was sick I realized I can't go on like this. I have two children. I believe that fear is what finally got me to say... Tomorrow is my day! I'm Done!

Monday Morning: (Day 1)

Worst morning ever! I wanted to grab my cigarettes and my coffee and hit up facebook and email as I've done every morning for like ever. So? What do I do now? I got through my morning routine without a cigarette but was just about crying thinking it's not fair how the one thing I enjoy was going to kill me and I had to give it up. Thoughts raced through my head trying to justify just having one, lets just cut down, how about timing cigarettes, etc. Finally, I remembered the eCigarettes I had bought last year in another weak attempt to quit! I ran to the attic, found the system, charged it up, ahhhhhhhhh nicotine. That's the stuff! I got out sunflower seeds and left gum strowed all around the house for easy access. By the time my husband got home I promised him that if I didn't just take some tylenol pm and knock myself out that I was going to cave. All I could hope for was that maybe tomorrow would be easier.

Tuesday Morning: (Day 2)

Got up like normal. I sat at the kitchen table with my coffee and read my email and checked out facebook. Woke my son up and got him ready for school. Got my daughter up and we all loaded in the car. We dropped off my son at school and came home. It was about 10am when I started getting usual texts from usual people. Lord I went off on two of them. LOL, that might have been a good thing but highly unusual for me. I text my husband at work and told him I was a great candidate for going postal! Started my low carb diet again, quit cigarettes, that time of the month... etc. He was fairly nice to me after that statement! LOL Anyhow. I made it til about 10:30 until I found myself reaching for that eCig. I think I enjoy the break I take to smoke as much as the nicotine!! Anyhow, went shopping for diet food and cigarette help. While I seemed to use that eCig about once every 2 hours.. I still haven't lit a real cigarette and I'm supposing that is progress? Mmmmm a real cigarette! sounds like solid gold heaven about now! Oh... I can do it! Mind you... I don't want to! They say you have to want to! Who the hell are 'they" anyhow! No one likes a know it all! I didn't hide in bed tonight either! I stayed up late!!!

Wednesday: Today! Day 3:

Ok, every day seems a little easier. I went til 2pm today until I hit up the eCig. I got dizzy! LOL was like old times! haha! I've just about stayed in the kitchen looking up low carb recipes and finding things to shove in my face! I'm doing well though. I'm sticking to my diet and I'm on 3rd day of not using a lighter. I even made it apoint to use a match to light a candle earlier. I do find that I get really moody and it's like I dare you to test me right now! LOL I will admit that yesterday was far easier than day 1 and today is much easier than yesterday. It's still tough. I just keep thinking that if every day is a little easier then maybe someday it won't be an issue at all. I haven't told anyone except for my son and husband that I've quit. It's like I'm waiting to fail? Also... I still have over 2 packs of cigarettes left. I figure when I throw them away I will personally believe i've quit. But um.. partial pack in the garage, one in kitchen cabinet, and one in either the car or my purse. LOL.. why won't I throw them away?

So far... Gum, sunflower seeds, and almonds have been best friends. The eCig has really helped but I wonder if it's just not prolonging some unavoidable withdrawal. LOL we will see. Also... flossing my teeth with a floss pick thing has kept hands and mouth busy! I'm sure I look tacky doing that but it works while I watch tv. Learned lesson on sunflower seeds and put on chapstick before I sit down with them LOL. Prune lips if not! Oh... I put change in my coat pocket on one side.. and some of my sons marbles ended up in my other pocket. Great for keeping hands busy.. weird I know but it helped for a second!

Day 12:

I ended up buying the Blu eCig starer kit since my old eCig helped so much.  On day 4 I had it all charged and gave it a try!  I loved it!  I loved it more than a cigarette!  My mind was made up!  I'll never smoke a cigarette again!  I'm on day 12 and ordered a NO NICOTINE pack of cartridges for my Blu cigs.  I can't wait!  I love the flavors and the sweetness.  I'm doing GREAT!  I tossed all of my cigarettes and I'm not freaking out!  I thought I would.  Lots of weird side effects from quitting.  All of them are found when I search for the side effects but they say it's from nicotine withdrawal?  I'm still getting nicotine?  Maybe not near as much is all I can figure!  I can deal with them all!   I lost near 10 pounds on my first week of diet and quitting smokes!  I gained 5 back???  I'm still on diet.  They say water gain?  Oh well we will see. 

I'd like to thank everyone for their nice comments and motivation!  I hope like crazy that if anyone reads this...  Just know!  I did not want to quit!!  The idea scared me to no end.  My cigarettes were my security!  They took the edge off, they kept me from eating, and so very much more!  I smoked for 20 years and I smoked quite heavily!  I've heard all the time...  you have to want to quit in order to actually do it!  Bull!!!  I'm here to say it's bull!!!  I'm now on a mission to become nicotine free!  I can't wait!   The pride you get from making it thru that first week and actually throwing away "good" cigarettes...  amazing utopian feeling!  Seriously!  Day 6 and 7 I was on cloud nine!  You'ld have thought I was high! 

I'm almost there now :)   Good luck to my fellow cigarette lovers ;)
darma72315 darma72315
31-35, F
5 Responses Jan 16, 2013

Great job! Congratulations on your achievement so far. And it will continue to get easier but watch out for urges that seneak up on you after you start to feel you've got it whipped. I found it most helpful to think in terms of not having the next cigarette. Thinking about never smoking again scared me not having one cigarette, that I could handle. Good luck.

Hmmmm, that's a great idea? I'm all about an award LOL! How about a cigarette???? hahaha! any ideas? I'm still in it!

It can be done and you can do it! I quit after smoking over 46 years. It wasn't easy and sometimes I want one but I don't smoke it!! So damn glad I quit and so will you be!!

Great job!

I should have totally mentioned how I can take really deep breaths without coughing or pain. After just day one I only coughed a couple of times when I laid down that night. I like never cough? It's neat! I can't wait for the snow to go away so I can try jogging.. LOL just to see if I still cough up a lung!