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Will I Really Stay Smoke-free?

I still want it. But it is so hard to go back, no matter how much I think I want to. It's been 3 months now, and I am afraid to go back. This is my first time ever quitting after 34 years of a pack and a half, and being a serious chain smoker. sometimes i want to go back, but i can't bring myself to do it. i like being smoke free, but the stress tells me i can sure use one. i feel like this is really it, but i wonder if i will last? again-i dont want to, i could if i wanted to, because my fiance still smokes. it does not bother me that he smokes, what bothers me is the thought.

nataliemissesu nataliemissesu 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 4, 2008

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I quit smoking 6 years ago. The first time I quit was 18 years ago and I did it for 9 months. Then, thinking I was safe to smoke a single one... sure enough, there was another, and another and then trip to the store to buy a pack.<br />
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Then, I quit more times than I can remember and then that single cigarrette and back to smoking.<br />
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I think the hardest part is the first, second month because you are so used to the thing you are simply lost without your "pacifier"<br />
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That's exactly what it is: a "pacifier" for adults. Whenever you are angry, sad, stressed, bored, hungry, sleepy, happy... you name it. You need a cigarrette.<br />
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Also is so socially acceptable that you just do it everywhere (well, wherever allowed). But you smoke with your friends, your family, with a drink, after a good meal, after sex... All that builds a bond very hard to break.<br />
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The cigarrette is a pacifier for those situations you need to be in control, hence, when you quit, you get angry all the time because the cigarrette kept your bad temper at bay, now without that barrier you just can't stop.<br />
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My best advice would be to picture yourself as a non-smoker. You once were a smoker but now YOU ARE NOT.<br />
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The more time you keep without smoking, the more you will appreciate your effort and that will help you resist the temptation when it comes. And when it does, try to distract yourself: drink water, take a walk, wash your teeth... but do not smoke.<br />
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And rest asured that the desire to smoke will never leave you. Even after these 6 years I find myself once and again, mentally negotiating to have a little drag, or a cigarrette. But I'm sure that if I do, it will be a matter of a week until I'm smoking full time again.<br />
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Gotta be strong!

exactly! that is exactly my feeling. what really made me stop was the withdrawal. man, did not even think it would be that hard. after that, i said i cannot even take going through something like that again! thanks and good luck to you too!

Something which has helped me not to revert, is not wanting to be dependent to it (or anything else) again... and I know that as soon as there's a 1... there's another 1... and another....<br />
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I'm not going to let myself get trapped like that again.<br />
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Good luck.