I Quit...again...and For Good

I quit smoking at 9:15 this past Friday morning when I finished the last cigarette in my pack.  I'm not sure why I quit, I'm not sure why it coincided with the end of a pack (although I'm sure I never would have quit otherwise)...but for whatever reason I knew I wasn't going to buy another pack of cigarettes, I wasn't going to smoke again, and I haven't.

I do have to say...I freaking hate this.  I quit once for a year, and a few other times for much shorter periods of time, and I never remember it being this hard.  They say the average nic-fit lasts for 3-5 minutes.  Mine have lasted for 20-30.  I don't remember having problems sleeping after the first night before, I don't remember having an emotional reaction to it.  I don't remember being such a whiney pants before.  I just pulled on my big boy panties and got through it.  When I quit for a year my S/O at the time had no idea that it was an ordeal because he'd never smoked and I just trudged through it...with nary a cross word said, or uncomfortable moment shown.  This time is *SO* different.  I hate every freaking second of this.  There hasn't been 10 waking minutes in the last week that I haven't thought about a cigarette.

All of that being said...I'm done, and I know it.  I'm going through way more this time than I have before, but I'm also much more sure of the fact that this is the last time I'm going to go through it.  This is the last time I'll ever have to work to quit smoking.  This is the last of my habits that will do serious damage to my body, and its over with.  I feel clean and stable in my core...its just my body and mind that are going haywire. 

And I know that shortly things will return to normal.  I know that my lungs will be able to process more oxygen (which is super important because I've been super athletic over the last year and a half and I need to build more stamina).  I know that I'll stop smelling and tasting like an ashtray in the next week (also super important).  I know that the various different parts of my body that have been effected for the last seven years will start to heal and mend and work in ways I've forgotten they should.

I do miss them though...but this too shall pass.

meandmyskate meandmyskate
2 Responses Feb 26, 2009

I wish icould quit. Im always waiting for the day i have no stress in my life to give them up , that day is probably never going to come. I hate smoking ,they are disgusting things, and i cannot afford them either. I wish u all the best

The important thing is you have decided to give them up. And that is the main roadblock always is the one in your mind. I went through the same thing about 5 years ago, have'nt touched one or wanted to and it feels good and I like it. You will too