I'm Glad I Quit

I never call myself a chain smoker.  I smoke a stick or three a day only but when I hang out with friends for a coffee...I get carried away and smoke almost twenty sticks a session.  Some asks me, how I feel when I smoke or how it taste or what is it for me?  They're tough questions because I don't like to answer it.  Honestly, I don't know how to answer that.  I don't want them to think that I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed eating chocolate.  I don't want them to start smoking because of me, too. 

My dad smoke.  He smoke 1 pack a day and I can see how it affects his health everyday.  I din't pay attention at first 'cuz I know I could quit anytime I want.  It made me feel free when I smoke so, I went on and on.  Thinking about it now, maybe everything was just for social purposes.  Maybe I wanted to prove myself that I am tough.  Maybe I wanted them to see that I am not naive or that not ignorant.  I was just pretending to be someone I am not.  It struck me, I wasn't myself.  My sister kept telling me to stop 'cuz no one will like me if I smoke.  I am a girl per say.  She got a point but I was too proud of myself.  I am cool, I said to myself.  But, I was wrong.  She was right, I look ugly when I smoke.  I feel dry and dirty.   My lips got dark er and unattractive.  When I looked at myself on the mirror, it dawned on me, I have to stop.

My friends laughs at my sudden change.  They couldn't believe it.  This time I am proud to say that I quit.  It's a wonderful feeling.  I can't promise that I might not try a stick someday but at least I survived without smoking a week or two.  That's a big accomplishment for me.  Somehow, I don't feel like helping my father think that smoking is okay.   I can't stop him and it's probably too late for him to realize that but I hope he'll see the full picture. 

 

WandaFull27 WandaFull27
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 23, 2007

I am happy for you!!!!! :) It is good that you have stopped smoking. I am on day 4. My Mom and Father have smoked for at least 30 years each. They are facing some horrible health problems at the moment too! Both of my sisters smoke as well. But I am deciding to quit for my daughter. Surprisingly the past 4 days haven't sucked all that bad.<br />
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I noticed too that my hair feels better, my skin tone on my face looks more alive and brighter, I don't have bags under my eyes like I did last week, my breathe doesn't smell horrible when I wake up from smoking before I fell asleep, I have energy. I seriously can almost feel the blood flowing freely in my arms......its a great feeling. I know that sounds stupid but I can feel it. Its like a tingling sense and it feels so great and powerful. I love this new life of not smoking. :)