Today Is Day 1

Day 1....I am struggling a lot but I still believe I can do it.  I have a friend with another addiction and last night we decided we were going to quit our addictions together even though they are different.  It makes it easier having someone to quit with.  It sucks because all I can do is repeat to myself "I've already quit. Why am I stressing over staying quit?"  Because that is the only thing that releases the tension.  I've been craving for about an hour now, been awake for 2 hours.  I am going to make it through!  I have to!  I already quit, no need to stress about staying quit!  And all I want to do right now is cry.  I'm going to be okay, not smoking is not the end of the world.  I used to be a non-smoker...I'm just going back to that.  Sitting down with a warm cup of tea breathing deeply is just as calming if not more calming then a cigarette.  I am okay.  I will make it.  No need to stress over staying quit.   I am okay, I can and will quit!

 

Late Afternoon-still not smoking but am throwing up.  I had to call my friend a few times today for extra support but still not even a puff.

The end of the day I totalled 2 ciggs  :(

I guess I will try for another first day of being a non-smoker tomorrow.

awakening87 awakening87
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 4, 2010

Thank you. I feel so bad because I just got done messing up. I had a cigarette. I didn't buy a pack so I am going to continue doing my best.