Can You Suspend The Judgement???

In 1989 I had an experience in Alcoholics Anonymous that left me with more questions than answers. I asked around the fellowship for feedback and suggestions and I would only get hurried or terse answers. After that experience that stemmed from a nervous breakdown and forgiveness for a woman whom I thought was a ":*****" I knew that places like A.A. were only the tip of the iceburg and not the "only place" they would have you believe them to be. I happened across a copy of The Course that one person in A.A. had laying around, started looking and reading only understanding a smattering of it. I knew it was based on the concept of forgiveness which was very confirming to me. I was one of those that ended up leaving A.A. to 1. Live life to the fullest (Get happy), and 2. to seek answers.

I ended up playing guitar in a band in Ft. Lauderdale and we were playing this party when I heard this one woman say "Would you rather be right or happy?" which perked my ears because people in A.A. have a similar saying; "Would rather be 'right' than sober" so I went over to say hello and asked her about what she'd said, she then told me about a book called A Return To Love; reflections On The Principles Of The Course In Miracles by Marrianne Williamson and that she would lend me her copy "Sure" I said happily so I read about halfway through the book and liked what she had to say especially about "being at that 12 step meeting" I would like to know the story on that then I picked up my own copy and gave hers back. The book prompted me to get The ACIM itself to try some lessons. A week passes by, nothing, a month nothing and on to a year with no visible results..

I went to churches that advocated The Course with no real change at all. According to them I wasn't "good enough". and "shouldn't be there amongst them." So I researched on the internet for myself and my own growth and eventually after years of being the best "me" that I possibly could, I began to understand The Course more. There are two books I would like to recommend that very much relates to The Course; A New Earth and The Power Of Now both by Eckhart Tolle. The Course in a nutshell.

Greetings. Here is an update on this post. I found a website that is proving to be very useful in understanding the terms in the passages of The Course.

StarWanderer StarWanderer
56-60, M
2 Responses Dec 6, 2011

Thank you. It turns out I've been looking for a mentor with this thing. I've been to a few Course studies at churches and found a lot of unhealed teachers using props to heal and teaching the ego's version of forgiveness and people with personal goals/agendas there. It's a big mess and I don't want to give this more than it's "due". I've made some progress now that things have been explained to me and I'm able to let go of the judgements. I was quite "shaken" by my experience and wanted to learn more about It. Thanks for your responses.

I agree with Tummytocker.l also think you are have a good decent enquiring soul it is not easy to control alcohol dependency so 'well done' you did well.