After 10yrs

I’m at a loss, been with a man for 10yrs and feel the relationship is empty. We have no future plans for anything i.e. buy, house, car etc. He still has his place and I have mine. He leaves in the morning and comes back, has his dinner, maybe some small talk and goes to sleep. I recently had an abortion (3mths ago) 1 of 3, for him. After the abortion he left for 5wks because he had a job which took up his time, which I can sympathise with but don’t except. He did call daily and knew I was unhappy but it did not seem to matter. Although I am now 44yr a large part of me wanted to have the baby and acknowledged that we would have a lot of other stuff to work through as a result of the termination, stuff that should have been dealt with before.

He has cheated in the past, sends what I feel are inappropriate texts (now has code on phone), views online **** and likes to watches girls whilst pleasuring me, he hardly looks at me. We’re now down to sex around 2/3 times a month. He was made redundant around 3yrs ago and had set up his own company, he makes enough money to survive but we don’t go out. He has 2 children who I don’t know and says it was because his exe threatened to stop access, they are now; 16 & 18yrs, we’ve spoken about this and he did promise on several occasions to introduce us. I ended up leaving my job which was unhappy with anyway but realise I am very depressed and have lost a lot of self confidence I also have no friends I can talk to for various reasons.
Phoenixunique Phoenixunique
41-45, F
Dec 6, 2012