Glad To Be Rid Of You

I loved you. I really did. You were my best friend, my brother, my confidant, the one person in the whole world I could count on to lift me up when I felt like dying. You and I shared a connection that was like no other. We longed for one another at the same time when we were apart, so often we would pick up the phone to call one another, and find the other on the line already. I would wake up from a nightmare and you somehow would know, and wake up at 2 am to call me and ask me if I was ok. We didn't question our mysterious closer-than-family bond, we just accepted it because it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Then you made a decision that changed you, me, our friendship, and our lives.

I don't hold that decision against you. You are now more "you" than ever. You are in the body you should have been born in. I wish you every happiness and will hold our time together dear in my heart. But that decision changed you. It changed how you acted and how you treated me. It changed the way you saw the world, the way you treated other people. The way you treated *yourself*. Your body wasn't the only thing that changed... your personality did too. The person you became was not the person I knew and could count on. I saw you turn from sweet and confident into cocky and manipulative. You used people to get what you wanted. You used me for a place to stay. You used your ability to appeal to people's compassion to do terrible things I never would have dreamed you were capable of. I lost all respect for you. I no longer knew who you were.

When I left you, it devastated us both. I know that. I ached for you for the longest time, and I know you tried to hang on to me too. But we are two very different people in two very different places in our lives. Our time together is over. I accept that. And looking back on the person you were vs. the person you are now? I don't miss you at all.
SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit
36-40, F
Mar 17, 2012