He Can Be So Cold and SelfishMy eyelids are super puffy. why? because I bawled my eyes out last night. We had another sex fight. I could tell something was wrong when he turned off the light..I said I love you...he didnt reply...maybe he didnt hear, but I repeated it louder and he said it back, coldly. So i made the mistake of asking what was wrong. he siad You dont know?
I said you wanted to have sex?
He says we dont have as much sex anymore, I think its going to get worse. GAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tried to do better....but I was so sore and tired last night. I just wanted to SLEEP. So much for that, cant even remember all the conversation now, but I got up and went to the bathroom, pissed off and crying. and at one point I told him that sex in relationships change...he's just gonna have to get over it. He said "Why do I have to get over it?"
That pissed me off too...I looked at him for a sec and then just went off and yelled while pushing him hard in the chest "Because you're a JERK!" guess i coulda said because thats just the way it is.
anyway, he looked real surprised that I did that, I shut the dorr and cried some more...yelled some more too though I dont think he was even near the door to hear. things like (You make me wanna DIE!) anyway, I left bathroom, got cigarettes, then heard the door open and close. Thought...GOOD, LEAVE. Then thought, no...HELLL no. Went out there and opened his truck door and asked where he was going. He said he didnt know but he couldnt be here when I was like that...no one ever did that to him before; pushed him or cussed him out like that. I find that hard to believe...in fact he told me one chick went off on him once..threw beer cans at him and then went outside yelling that he was a pot smoker - so his neighbors would know I guess. Anyway, we talked a little out there - I told him he made me feel raped because I know I HAVE to do it. I know thats all he loves me for. If we didnt have sex for a MONTH, his feelings would certainly change. he says no, but ...we went what? two days. I think we had sex the night before last, so WTF? I was trying to dew better. Apparently I have to do italll the damn time, on command. whatever. we need counseling. but he has an excuse for everything...Oh, I dont have the time, oh I dont have the money for that.
btrfly09 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 Sep 7, 2008