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He Can Be So Cold and Selfish

My eyelids are super puffy.  why?  because I bawled my eyes out last night.  We had another sex fight.  I could tell something was wrong when he turned off the light..I said I love you...he didnt reply...maybe he didnt hear, but I repeated it louder and he said it back, coldly.  So i made the mistake of asking what was wrong. he siad You dont know?

I  said you wanted to have sex?

He says we dont have as much sex anymore, I think its going to get worse.   GAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I tried to do better....but I was so sore and tired last night.  I just wanted to SLEEP.   So much for that, cant even remember all the conversation now, but I got up and went to the bathroom, pissed off and crying.  and at one point I told him that sex in relationships change...he's just gonna have to get over it.  He said "Why do I have to get over it?" 
That pissed me off too...I looked at him for a sec and then just went off and yelled while pushing him hard in the chest "Because you're a JERK!"   guess i coulda said because thats just the way it is.
  anyway, he looked real surprised that I did that, I shut the dorr and cried some more...yelled some more too though I dont think he was even near the door to hear.  things like (You make me wanna DIE!)   anyway, I left bathroom, got cigarettes, then heard the door open and close.  Thought...GOOD, LEAVE. Then thought, no...HELLL no.  Went out there and opened his truck door and asked where he was going.   He said he didnt know but he couldnt be here when I was like that...no one ever did that to him before; pushed him or cussed him out like that.  I find that hard to believe...in fact he told me one chick went off on him once..threw beer cans at him and then went outside yelling that he was a pot smoker - so his neighbors would know I guess.   Anyway, we talked a little out there - I told him he made me feel raped because I know I HAVE to do it.  I know thats all he loves me for.  If we didnt have sex for a MONTH, his feelings would certainly change.  he says no, but ...we went what? two days.  I think we had sex the night before last, so WTF?  I was trying to dew better.  Apparently I have to do italll the damn time, on command.     whatever.  we need counseling.  but he has an excuse for everything...Oh, I dont have the time, oh I dont have the money for that.    
btrfly09 btrfly09 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 7, 2008

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it doesnt look like You have a great relationship...please think twice before You ll bring children to this world/with him

it will just get much more hard

men who really cares /loves never forces women to do what she doesnt feel like doing...

Yes my wife would have her way with me every 2nd month and i would nearly puke and feel totally violated till she finally started sleeping upstairs!

I know what you mean by feeling raped when you are forcd to have sex when you don't want to. Men have no idea the kind of sexual pressure they can put on us. God forbid if I was too tired or wasn't in the mood. He would automatically assume we weren't ever gonna have sex again. I hope your' man gets a clue. Good luck.

I'm sorry you and your husband are going through this. Your right you both need relationship counseling. Until then at least you have EP to express yourself on.



I hope things get better for the two of you...