Lost And Alone, Don't Know What To Do....

i m a 25 yr old muslim women, and when i was 18 i got a arranged marriage and my new husband was a amazing man, he loved me and treated me like a queen, i was his whole life, i was his first for everything and i ruined it all, before i got married i was in love with another man and even after i got married i went on seeing this other man and then one day my husband found out and we separated for 6 months and those were the worst months of my life, because in those long months i realized that i loved my husband and he ment the world to me and i couldn't loose him, so i promised to him i would change my life around, and that is exactly what i did, now i've been married since 5 yrs and things are very different now, i m head over heels for him and he just wont look at me the same as he did when we first got married, i do everything for him and helped him financially to become a doctor and i've been their for him emotionally as well, and now i feel as if he hates me,he hasn't kissed me since 5 yrs, we have sex but not like we use to and when ever we fight he always brings the past up and now he's in residency and has no time for me and i m home alone all day all night, i know he's not having a affair because he's a religious man but i feel as if he hates me we live in the same house but like strangers, he doesn't even hug me and when i come close to him even to put my had in his he moves away, i have changed so much and have become such better person, how long will i have to keep paying for my sins because i know god has for give me, i have repented and i just want my old husband back and don't know what to do, because i m dying inside..
NeedAFrn NeedAFrn
22-25, F
3 Responses Mar 27, 2011

i do think that you should tell him this if he dosnt listen then leave him because from 10 years from now it could still be the same and you know god has forgivin you so you dont have to prove your sorry enymore and if he cannot except then leave.

Just a normal friend!!! I mean how many types of friends are their!!!!...lol

before I spill my guts, what kind of friend are you looking for?