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I Wish I Had A Friend

I've always had trouble making close friends. I don't know why really. I wonder if people worry that i'll judge them, as i always try to keep a high moral standard. Like me and one of my friends drifted after she started cheating on her boyfriend - i'd seen them flirting, but she never told me she was cheating on him until it had gone so far, she only told me much later after she had broken up with her bf. Just wondering if part of the reason was because she knew i wouldn't just be interested in all the gossip of it. i knew they were flirting, tho i stayed out of it, tho if she had asked me i would have been honest. Tho for all i know its nothing to do with ppl thinking i'd judge them, i am quieter and shyer, i dunno if ppl don't find me as fun. I would just love to have someone here to just hang out with me or to drag me out or get me motivated. I always used to help ppl with their work, help them with their revision, even do other favours, and sometimes they seemed greatful, but not for very long. Would be nice for someone to be here for me. I feel like i'm a nice person. I mean if i was a mean person then i wouldn't be surprised that i didn't have anyone around me, but i am kind and considerate and helpful. So i don't really get it. I know people say be yourself, but how do you be yourself when you don't know who yourself is?
CuddleHugs CuddleHugs 22-25, F 12 Responses Feb 10, 2012

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Same thing happened to me at my school. The one friend who still keeps up with me is a girl from a really strict Christian family...it's weird but sometimes I wish I'd had the guts to be the "mean girl" instead. At least then I'd have been in charge instead of being the awkward duck.

Have you asked people why they don't want to hang out with you? Why would you drift apart because your friend cheated on her boyfriend? Did you end the friendship, or did she? Is it possible that you end or avoid close friendships because you are afraid they will hurt you? Or because you will hurt them? Maybe you have already answered these questions. If not, think about it.

It is a severe Vit B deficiency, I prefer liquid B (any health food shop) as it goes into the blood stream quicker, be aware stress, pollution, computers, smoking, alcohol, drug consumption all deplete our B levels so many r to low, also depression and anxiety disappear, don't give up if it doesn't go you just need to up the dosage gently until you beat the damn thing, I contracted it at 18 I am over 50 haven't had it for 30 yrs, Shingles is also disappeared in this way....

I hav lived thru same most of my life I believe people feel ashamed with their bad behaviour and often aren't mature enough 2 hear 'the truth'. Many things r designed 2 pull you down on your spiritual journey I believe this is one if u r learning and passing your lessons others will fall away this even happened with my family (I am over 50) its is a lonely journey. I say 2 myself well I can join them or remain true 2 myself who wld I rather be, I usually pass the test however it is isolating, don't give up the end goal is soooo worth it.

Hi CuddleHugs,

I just joined this site and read what you wrote .I've always had trouble making friends as well.

I also have high moral standards. What i mean by that is that i believe in loyalty, honesty( not the rude, hit you with a hammer kind of honesty though : ) , being generous and helpful . I believe friends should be all that and there for each other.

and i know that this in part ,has stood in my way of making and maintaing friendships because it's hard for me to be friends with people who i know wouldn't be there for me when i need them , like i would for them.

Also i'm a nice quiet person( in general, doesn't mean i don't like to have fun) which also plays a role. I think most people prefer rude, mean, hyper people

but that still doesn't explain everything because I still don't know how to make friends.
Most of the time people choose to be friends with me, instead of me initializing the friendship. That usually doesn't work

But the thing that i don't understand , which drives me nuts, is that after a while they stop, without there even being a hint of an argument . even after going out several times and having fun ( both of us , not just me)

like i have a friend who has sought my friendship and has texted me almost everyday and gone out with plenty of times and recently i've tried calling her and texting her and weeks have passed but but she doesn't answer.

I know that she is probably busy theses days but still she can answer a text message for a second and say that she's alright or busy or whatever.

I really don't understand humans. I know that technically i'm a human too : ) but " thinking wise" I feel very different . I know what the last dinosaur on earth must have felt like

I know how you feel about not knowing exactly who you are. I've only really had 2 good friends in my life & I've lost them both thru time. It didn't help that I moved 8 hrs away w/ my husband cuz he got a new job. I don't know how to act around other ppl. I try too hard to make them like me. I am a nice person, the kind that would go way outta her way to help anyone.

i am the same the onlyt friends ive ever had were child hood friends but we drift seprate lives as adults and now i find it hard to form friendships and relationships

hi hun i had that problem in high school all the way threw till i hit 30 if you need a friend i would like to be yours hugs sent

I am in the same boat as you. I keep trying, but no one seems to want to be my friend either. It hurts, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

Wow, I am the same way. Can we be friends?

me too

I think were the same, I'm also a quite and very very shy person or timid in short but changes if I know the person well or a friend, I remember when I transferred to another school actually it took me months just to manage to aleast to know someone in the room and atleast manage to talk freely to them, I don't know it's just hard for me to start a conversation to someone and I am the kind of person that will not talk to a person unless they talk to me first, I don't even greet people unless they greet me...and at some point I hear some rumor that I'm a conceited or snob person. I don't know how I just manage to make real friends even if it's few. I think try to stick to some good people you know. <br />
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well my shyness and being quite is atleast disappear when I'm writing a message or online but still I put a cage and limits to the things I can and will say, and because there's a bit fear of being judge or criticize at some point.<br />
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And if you want I can be someone you can talk to or you have some interesting topics or stories that you want to share^^, I join this site so I could just talk to someone.