Growing up I had a few best friends...but they always changed every 2-3 years. I never held on to any of them much longer than that. I don't know why. Was it me? Was it them? Was it because I was secretly crushing on them even though I didn't even know it? I matured much more slowly than everyone else. I preferred to play with my little sister and her friends rather than make my own. I was always shy...still am. I could never just meet some stranger at a bar or something and make friends. I still talk to my best friend from high school, but its on a much more different level than we were on when we first met. We can hang, but I can't confess my life stories like I used to. I've been waiting years for that reconnection to happen between us. Maybe that's my problem...i'm just waiting...where's the effort? I want someone to confess my stories to...someone to ask for advice when my worried mind is wandering. How do I meet that person? When will I finally have a real friend? I just can't seem to get it right.