I have bpd. I struggle just about everyday at this point. I feel empty and very alone. I am doing everything in my power to have a healthy life and be a good person, but at the end of the day I just want to curl up and die because my journey to be "happy" feels like a full-time job with no benefits. I can't see the light. I need simple things. I need geeky childish hobbies and people who I can trust.