Because I Really Don't Have Any.

Growing up I was quiet and reserved. I still am but not nearly as shy. I've had friends over the years but none that are true enough to stick around during the rough times. I am 23 and my friends consist of old friends that I only communicate with on Facebook which isn't much activity, and acquaintances at work. I work with a bunch of older people though. I can't be friends with guys because I think they're awkward and I just don't feel comfortable with them. I find it hard to make new female friends unless I have a romantic interest, even if I know no such relationship can happen. I don't mean to be picky, but unless that interest is there, when I am hanging out with them I feel like I am wasting my time. If I have a romantic interest but am perfectly comfortable with not building that sort of relationship, I still don't think it a waste to hang with them. Even if I am picky, I still don't meet new people very well.
Christine268 Christine268
22-25, F
3 Responses Jan 12, 2013

I can relate a bit. Since the new years week i been registering to a bunch of socializing sites in hopes to find friends but its been hard. im not expecting everyone to be friends with me, but the people i talk to don't seem that much interested in me. im always initiating the conversation and they reply. its like an interrogation. thats not what im looking for. i dunno what im doing wrong. i know not to go on and on about yourself. i ask them how they're doing/how was their day? bla bla bla so weird and frustrating

never have to many firneds you can add me if yu wish and we can talk

some times for what ever reason we find it hard to make friends we can really trust

Some people just know how to do this... I've never known myself.
I'm more than a decade older than you and only have one friend.

Having just split from my husband (he left me for a much younger woman) I find myself examining his facebook page - all his friends are not my friends, the ones who have spent time at our house, been to family events etc - not one of them ever friended me over the years - says it all right.

I wish I could help - I don't know what it is that disables people like us from effective communication in person with other human beings. I quite literally have no idea how to make friends.

Right! Sometimes I wonder what I am doing wrong. You would think over the years seeing those people at the family events they would befriend you! The question IS what are we doing wrong??

At my old work place I didn't make any friends, no one seemed to care to chat with me as much as I tried to fit in. They were all my age. At my new work place, same work environment (grocery store), I work with older people (30s, 40s) and they talk to me much more and even add me on Facebook and seem to care about my well being, like if they see me down they'll express concern or if I am sick. Even still, none of these people are friends that I can really talk to deeply with. They're just friendly acquaintances from work. Still, I appreciate more the people that I surround me at work, making me feel less lonely at work than at my other place.

The few that are my those I too quite literally don't know how to make friends with them. Or anyone. Its frustrating!

I think I know where it all started for me, I have an awful childhood memory, a time when it was made perfectly clear to me that kids I thought were my friends were definitley not!!
Ever since then I struggled... even if people are nice to me I can't help remembering that time when I was fooled into believing that before.
Most people you encounter in life are polite and pleasant and will therefore exchange niceties with us but if we try to pursue anything more than that a roadblock is put up - that's how it seems for me anyway.

My peers are those in their 30s - these are the ones I find it hardest with, so maybe it's just that we both find it hardest with our own peer group.
It's tough.. because not only does everyone need friends but it means that when we have problems, every single time we have a problem, this age old loneliness is piled on top of that problem and magnifies everything.

Frustrating indeed!

I hope you find a way.... I sometimes feel I don't know how much longer I can survive this world without friends.
The one friend I do have has a young family, 2 kids, she just doesn't have the time, quite rightly so. But this only adds to my feeling of abandonment.