I've been separated for two years, and in the last couple days filed the complaint for divorce and he will be served in a few days. I come from and mentally sometimes physically abusive alcoholic husband who refuses to realize he has a problem. He came over to my house tonight and was drunk. He made me so mad I pushed him which we the wrong thing to do cause I got hit. He was slamming doors and throwing things that I secretly text my police neighbor to come over which he did and made him leave. But thing is he is so mad now I am scared he is going to kill me. He has ran off every friend of mine, I have no one to talk to. No one to listen to me and I can't stop crying. Why can't I move on? Why can't I stop this abusive cycle and let it end. I have a beautiful nine year angel of a son that I want him to be proud of me and learn its not ok to fight, or hit or get mad at someone you love for no reason. I want him to grow up laughing and happy not worried mommy is sad, or daddy is drunk again. I. So confused and lonely.