I Really Need Someone to Talk to

Going Through A Divorce

By: Ellesway

Written on February 7th, 2013

I've been separated for two years, and in the last couple days filed the complaint for divorce and he will be served in a few days. I come from and mentally sometimes physically abusive alcoholic husband who refuses to realize he has a problem. He came over to my house tonight and was drunk. He made me so mad I pushed him which we the wrong thing to do cause I got hit. He was slamming doors and throwing things that I secretly text my police neighbor to come over which he did and made him leave. But thing is he is so mad now I am scared he is going to kill me. He has ran off every friend of mine, I have no one to talk to. No one to listen to me and I can't stop crying. Why can't I move on? Why can't I stop this abusive cycle and let it end. I have a beautiful nine year angel of a son that I want him to be proud of me and learn its not ok to fight, or hit or get mad at someone you love for no reason. I want him to grow up laughing and happy not worried mommy is sad, or daddy is drunk again. I. So confused and lonely.

By: Ellesway

Age: 36-40 , Female

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9 responses

dvdvitka

Divorce is like an illness(mental) it has to run its course. I'm not a big twelve step program kinda guy. Anything worth doing in a relationship is hard. Ending it is the hardest. YOU
will be happy at the the end! I never thought it would be o.k. with my kids,but it is.You and your son will get back to normal.People who have trouble with alcohol need to see them selves.
Your husband will see it. Life can be hard, but that tends to make you sweeter.

Feb 7
1 like
YB01

Well we believe that only someone who has walked in your shoes can be of help.

Feb 7
1 like
YB01

No ...some partners/spouses never change. It's called denial.
In my home group we have women who have left their marriage yet continue to get support from the program.
Did you get a sponsor when you were attending ?

Feb 7
1 like
- Ellesway
  I never attending, just was saying your advise was helpful. I jus don't know what to do, so scared and insecure I guess. I've finally have come to terms that he was a controlling drunk with me by putting me down, doubting me, calling me worthless.
  
  Feb 7
  1 like
dvdvitka

Wow, I really feel bad for you.A few years ago I went through a bad divorce.22 years. If he's a
drunk he has a very bad problem. I didn't ever drink when I thought I was happily married. I did
going through the divorce. It got really bad! You do not have to put up with hitting or abuse. I was arrested for calling five times in an hour.Cell phone waves are abusive. It takes time,things get better. Lawyers, judges it all goes away,it just goes on forever when it is happening. I see my kids all the time. Partner and I are at peace now. I'm glad to be divorced now.Don't be like the drowning person and quit fifty yards from the beach.
You'll be alright.

Feb 7
1 like
- Ellesway
  Thank you so much for your mind words. I'm just going through so much with him and I feel like I am I. A losing battle.
  
  Feb 7
  1 like
YB01

AA is a 12 Step Program for Alcoholics. It teaches them how to get sober, how to stay sober, and what their triggers and boundaries are. I presume you have heard of AA.
Al Anon was started by the husbands and wives of Alcoholics...and of addicts. You can google "Al Anon" and see if there is a meeting in your city.
Step One of Al Anon reads " I am powerless over the alcoholic and my life has become unmanageable." . Does that make sense ?

Feb 7
1 like
- Ellesway
  I did and it helped, but it says the program is for when your spouse is going through AA also. Is this true?
  
  Feb 7
  1 like
YB01

OK.
If you want to change...please try going to six meetings of Al Anon.

Feb 7
1 like

I Really Need Someone to Talk to

Going Through A Divorce

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