Just Don't Know What To Do

So my life has been going through too many changes for me to even keep up with. I graduated college in May of 2010. At the time of my graduation, I had been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months. We decided to look for jobs in Philadelphia so we could be together. I spent all summer applying and applying. Finally, after I had given up, I get a call offering me a part time job. Before I could realize what was happening, I was moving into an apartment with 2 guys i've never met before and starting a job I had little experience in. I moved to a new city where I knew almost no one. My girlfriend got a job shortly after I did and found an apartment a half mile from mine. That's when the problems started. I didn't know anyone in Philly besides her. We began fighting all the time. We had two really big arguments and didn't talk for a few days. Then, just as we were patching things up and I was getting used to this new life, I got a full time job offer. I gladly accpeted the pay raise and benefits, but didn't realize the extra stress it would put on my life. Two weeks ago, I went to visit some of my old friends back at college. We went to a bar and I was talking to a girl a graduated with (now a grad student) when she jumped in and started kissing me. I had a few too many drinks in me and didn't know what to do. After a few seconds, I pushed her off and walked away. However, someone else I graduated with had already taken a picture of it and sent it to my girlfriend. So my girlfriend (who i've been with for over a year at this point) left me instantly after recieving the picture. Now I'm in this city where I don't know anyone. I'm completely stressed out over my job (I'm an elementary school teacher, first year is notoriously stressful) and I have no one to talk to or hang out with. I feel like I'm in desperate need of some friends, but I have no idea how to meet anyone or how I'd find the time to meet them even if I did know how. I just feel like I have no motivation to live my life. I feel like I'm just getting things done at my job, then coming home and laying in bed. I guess I feel like there is just absolutely no fun in my life. I don't really talk to anyone besides my students and my co-workers. But talks with my co-workers are rarely on any subject other than school. I don't know, I'm just not enjoying my life and I have no idea how to fix it.
MarshallBurlington MarshallBurlington
2 Responses Dec 6, 2010

Yea i know how you feel. I used to do the same thing when i wasn't in a relationship. I'd be glad to be out of work but then i'd go home eat, and just be depressed. I felt like i had nothing to live for except the same old routine. Anyways, I used to think the world was full of people who wouldn't be interested in me unless I was cool enough. I guess I still think that to a certain extent, but I am learning that some people are willing to hang out with you just cause you express an interest in doing so. Anyways, there's a website called meetup.com where people who want to meet other people meet. Anyways, geez i know you posted your story ages ago, i just noticed that. Oh well. hope this helps anyways.

You are going to be FINE. The problem with most young people these days is that they get in to monogamous relationships so quickly that they don't have the time to figure out what they want or how to deal when the partner calls it quits. Give yourself a gap of three months. If you still feel the same way about her, go back. But truly take this time to get to know more people and see if you get some further perspective about your past relationship. Was it really as worthwhile as it seemed at the time? Or as you're remembering it now?<br />
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I understand what you mean by working, coming home to an empty bed and constantly having the feeling of living an empty existence. Life is lonely. That's a fact. Even when you're surrounded by love and affection and support. We are born alone (well most of us, unless you're a twin) and we die alone. <br />
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That doesn't mean it doesn't stink. Get on a dating site. I know it sounds hopelessly cliched but it's actually a great way to meet new people. And the moment they find out you're new to the city a lot of them would probably love to help you see or experience new things. And sometimes, it's just great to take a walk. There's something wonderfully soothing about going through the streets, watching people and dogs and buildings without feeling the need to be a certain you. <br />
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And also, make home more comfortable. Journal when you get back, use a great smelling fabric softener that makes you feel warm and cherished. <br />
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You seem like an amazing young man who's just going through a rough patch. This too shall pass. Really look at yourself in the mirror. You are human. You are alive. And one day you're not going to be on this earth anymore. Don't waste what precious little time you have on breaking yourself down. <br />
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Lastly, don't restrict yourself geographically anymore. Spread those budding wings of yours and follow wherever the wind takes you.