Mean Girls!

I was brought up to be seen and not heard. As a child we all lived to the whims of my fathers moods. Bad mood, DO NOT DISTURB!! No noise was alloed in the house, no youthful exuberance!! Meals in strict silence, even if you were dying to speak. Spanking the NOrm, sent to bed, No tea!! So me and our kid became silent children! I enjoyed school at first , but I didn't know how to react to the other kids. I was socially inadequate. Also at home no feelings ever shown, no love. Hugs kisses, but they were staid! No spontaneous I love You!!
School got worse as I got older. 2 girls and I shall name and shame them, Catherine Illingworth and Natasha Meadows, best friends cheeky normal kids.Well they targeted me. What an easy target!! I didn't know how to react! They started teasing, pushing, nipping hitting me. And me , well I took it! I was sooo shy, I was frightened. There was no part of me that fought back, I didn't know how to?? They were a team and adept at bullying. By 9 it was BAD! BAD it was AWFUL! The school and learning I had loved was ruined. Everyday on the lookout for them. Hiding. No-one noticed. No-one stood up for me. They let it happen, like a bad experiment!! I started crying every morning before school. I did NOT want to go anymore. The good parts were spoiled by 2 mean girls! Yes I was an easy target ,but they went overboard. And our kid got it too! And I just couldn't fight his battles too! I didn't know how!!
I started pretending I was sick to my mum. She was a busy lady, and basically didn't want me under her feet all day! But some days she'd let me skive. She saw my fear and realised something was wrong. But when questioned I couldn't say, I just couldn't!!! Something made me bottle it up. I thought I was at fault TRULY! After all no-one else got it like me. I just couldn't see that I played into their hands?? I let them do it. I was put in a higher class as I was clever, but they followed me later. By now I was having 2 weeks off at a time. I was always"sick". So I started getting behind too!! I remember one day, the teacher got us out of our chairs, stood round the blackboard. This was perfect for mean girls as they could sandwich me in the middle! They started their routine, giggling, talking about me, then physical, pinching, poking, stamping on my feet. I started to cry, copiously, but silently, they were pleased. That night I went home and I was flat. There was no joy left in me. I was lost. My mother saw me, and finally, finally reacted. She went to the School behind my back! This was rare as she hated any kind of confrontation, but by now I would not leave the house, not set foot in school! She talked to the HeadMaster, a brilliant Man. Mr Howell Jones. They the teachers were used to me, being silent. Oh they tried to get us to join in, ask us questions, but we wouldn't break the code of silence, even if we knew the answer!!! Anyway the next day, I was called to the office. The whole clas went OOOOOH, Catherine is in TRouble!! I went dying inside. He sat me down, began talking. He had heard I was being bullied, was this correct. He talked as if I was participating in the conversation, but I would only nod or shake my head! Was it,C and N?? I didn't answer, then the tears started. He told me not to worry , he would sort it out> I didn't believe him!! How would he stop them?? If not in class there was all the playtimes, dinnertime, I had no faith! I never saw C and N being called to see him, but he must of! Because next day it just stopped!!!! In fact they wanted to be my FRIENDS??? They went out of their way to be nice, talk to, me not about me!! If they were giggling, I was let in on the joke. It was like they wanted to be with me!!! Well it was unreal, such a change!! All the worry and stress gone!! I don't know what that man said, but he must have put the fear of God into them!!! He could do that you know!! You didn't cross Mr> Jones. So Mr Jones, I thank you Sir, from the bottom of my heart! You made the last years of Primary bearable! What a guy!!
You know years years later, I saw Catherine. I stopped her and said ,Do you Remember me?? I am......! She said Oh Yeah! And I wanted to say, You You *****, you made my life a misery. Why did u do it?? Why did u get off on it? But no , I was polite, I let her go. Now, now I have found my voice!! If I ever see any of them again, I will SAY!! I will let them know just what they did. How they affected me!! God I would let them have it!! But we can all be bitter. And that makes you twisted, Life was OK till Secondary, but that another story for another day!!
cath17 cath17
36-40, F
May 23, 2012