i really need an actual hug from someone that knows where i am coming from, who can relate to me. i am a gay teenager and only 2 "close" friends every time i do hug them i want to hold on, but i know that they think it would be weird. i havn't had a close friendship in such a long time i forget how to let loose. my life is so finely organized just so i have some feeling of control and even that doesn't work out right sometimes. i want the "one" person that will cheer me up no matter what but i feel like i will never find him or i don't deserve him. i have an ache in my chest and my head. my head because every time i think of peoples ideas about me and how they think i live my life and one in my chest for how lonely i feel. i know i might have misconseptions of the world but i just hope i can be right about some things. i go to a therapist but i dont tell her everything, who would shes not my friend and can never really know where i am coming from. because i have so much of a different life. I'm sorry if you are reading this and thinking this is just a complaining teenager but i feel so alone and i'm hoping that this will help me for someone to at least hear me. 
nickwazhere nickwazhere
18-21, M
Aug 9, 2010