Heart For Sale!

The name of the group really says it all.

Ive never felt someone really wanted me. Not sexually, not for just a moment but wanted me as in wasn't happy without me. I have never felt love from someone else. I can say I have felt friendly love on a deep level. That kind of love is great because in my case its a constant. I know I have that security when I need it. But the love like you dream of, Ive never felt.
Yes I'm married and I know you're thinking what about him!? Maybe this shows my ignorance when I married maybe it shows just stupidity...I don't know, but he never ever told me he loved me. I would bring it up and he would always go around it, avoid the topic or say its silly to have to say. For 14 years I tried to make him tell me. Never.

After our big falling out when I had it he was totally different and Ive heard it maybe three times in the past 4 years. I don't want to hear it now. I have no feelings for him and he knows. So I always think about if I can even accept that love if someone wanted to give it to me? Could I trust it?
I want to say yes I can accept it because its been the only thing I ever wanted. I see things in me though that show myself its hard. I think it will take a while to believe someone could love me. I hope I can do it.
soulrunher soulrunher
46-50, F
4 Responses Jan 20, 2013

Oh Soul...this is painful to read...it's just not fair.
Why is it ?..that the one thing you want, you can't have....and it doesn't cost a single cent!
You deserve everything you dream of...you are beautiful in every way.
I'm sorry to know that you're suffering so much.
Relationships shouldn't be so hard.
Hugs and kisses to you Sweetie.

Its okay! *hugs you and consoles you* LOL I'm okay! I am blessed with many things. I focus on that.

XXX..i know you do....you just need someone to focus on you.

You will...I can believe it easily....

Your 'Soul' is way too beautiful to be cast aside....have faith in yourself,....
He didn't deserve you to begin with.

You guys are too sweet! I just posted this to get a story up for this group! I didn't think I would get so many replies! :)

Don't kid yourself...you are adored around these parts. :)

Aww...hugs sweet lady!! :)

You are loveable. So, in your second life, you should settle for nothing less.

Wow, nice comment. Who is this? Lawrence?

Sort of. I had to take dictation.


I wish I could know what to say, other than I hope you find it someday! I kind of think of my wife when I read this, how often I've told her I love her, yet she wants to be SHOWN through little touches and whatnot. I wonder if any of us guys can ever get it right? Or do those couples just get lucky that they are in synch of how to say it, show it, and feel/receive it?

Well, every case is different. I was never told he loved me or anything else positive...